Serious Accused of sexual harassment at work

[Tambob]

Background info: I'm 37 (Southern Ontario, Canada), failed post-secondary attempts but that's the past right? Looking past regrets and looking into the varied skilled trades to find something I'd really enjoy doing that pays well. Until then, general labour jobs in the area; I lucked out with a pool company as a maintenance person.

They assigned me for first three days with this girl who's probably 22 at oldest. I'm not going to jeopardize this new job that pays a decent starting wage for the coming inflation. So I actually respect women a lot and actually try to make them comfortable around me, by not ogling them or staring, catcalling or any of that shit they complain about so much about actual creeps. Me and her start off pretty good, she's good at her job and taught me most of what I know so far. Any other talk we've had has been random and mundane, like her bringing up her personal life, and we compared pets and she even asked me advice on how to handle her and her mom's dogs' separation, and I emphasized to bring dog for visit as often as possible when she goes to see her mom.

One day I want to take a selfie to add to profile pictures, because I want more photos of myself in varying situations. (Vital point to add: girls have complimented my looks quite a few times in the past, I'm not saying that to brag, but just to illuminate this isn't some fucking goblin hitting on a 10 lol). I considered just taking it sideways to show work equipment and part of her in picture incidentally, but I decided to ask permission first. She was driving and I asked loud and clear if I could take a work selfie for photo collection, and if she was in shot I'd blur or crop it. She turned slightly, saw phone and said "Yeah, that's fine."

Then she reports me to the manager, who calls me in the next morning to say she accused me of harassment and taking photos of her. Despite her granting explicit consent to my face. Not usually confrontational, and in the moment of being chewed out, I didn't remember to say that. The girl avoided me terribly, didn't say hello, looked past me, like night and day. Since girls talk, she has guaranteed told other co-workers her version of events by now.

They assigned me with someone else, we did our first few jobs but I was still badly affected by the harassment accusation. It took a few hours before I realized I forgot she granted consent.

The harassment policy in the employee handbook states "All events will be investigated fully and fairly in a reasonable amount of time. No employee will be reprimanded in any way for reporting an act of violence or harassment regardless of the outcome of the investigation." Typical harassment policy, but does that mean female employees can make shit up about a guy they work with, with no fear of consequence to themselves?

Going in 30 min early Monday, going to constructively discuss this with manager and seeing what happens; because the situation as it stands is untenable, and imo this is a huge misunderstanding, or she forgot what she said. I'd love it to just go back to normal with no awkwardness, but we'll see. But I won't work at a place that labels me a harasser unfairly, without due process. I'll do best to enjoy weekend before then.

I just had to vent about this shit, and gather opinions.

Sorry this happened to you! I think you need to quietly look for a new job mid to long term. In today's social climate I can't see you regaining any true peace for yourself in a place that has no interest in understanding both sides of a story. She's an asshat.

 

[SPHINCTERPUNCH]

Background info: I'm 37 (Southern Ontario, Canada), failed post-secondary attempts but that's the past right? Looking past regrets and looking into the varied skilled trades to find something I'd really enjoy doing that pays well. Until then, general labour jobs in the area; I lucked out with a pool company as a maintenance person.

They assigned me for first three days with this girl who's probably 22 at oldest. I'm not going to jeopardize this new job that pays a decent starting wage for the coming inflation. So I actually respect women a lot and actually try to make them comfortable around me, by not ogling them or staring, catcalling or any of that shit they complain about so much about actual creeps. Me and her start off pretty good, she's good at her job and taught me most of what I know so far. Any other talk we've had has been random and mundane, like her bringing up her personal life, and we compared pets and she even asked me advice on how to handle her and her mom's dogs' separation, and I emphasized to bring dog for visit as often as possible when she goes to see her mom.

One day I want to take a selfie to add to profile pictures, because I want more photos of myself in varying situations. (Vital point to add: girls have complimented my looks quite a few times in the past, I'm not saying that to brag, but just to illuminate this isn't some fucking goblin hitting on a 10 lol). I considered just taking it sideways to show work equipment and part of her in picture incidentally, but I decided to ask permission first. She was driving and I asked loud and clear if I could take a work selfie for photo collection, and if she was in shot I'd blur or crop it. She turned slightly, saw phone and said "Yeah, that's fine."

Then she reports me to the manager, who calls me in the next morning to say she accused me of harassment and taking photos of her. Despite her granting explicit consent to my face. Not usually confrontational, and in the moment of being chewed out, I didn't remember to say that. The girl avoided me terribly, didn't say hello, looked past me, like night and day. Since girls talk, she has guaranteed told other co-workers her version of events by now.

They assigned me with someone else, we did our first few jobs but I was still badly affected by the harassment accusation. It took a few hours before I realized I forgot she granted consent.

The harassment policy in the employee handbook states "All events will be investigated fully and fairly in a reasonable amount of time. No employee will be reprimanded in any way for reporting an act of violence or harassment regardless of the outcome of the investigation." Typical harassment policy, but does that mean female employees can make shit up about a guy they work with, with no fear of consequence to themselves?

Going in 30 min early Monday, going to constructively discuss this with manager and seeing what happens; because the situation as it stands is untenable, and imo this is a huge misunderstanding, or she forgot what she said. I'd love it to just go back to normal with no awkwardness, but we'll see. But I won't work at a place that labels me a harasser unfairly, without due process. I'll do best to enjoy weekend before then.

I just had to vent about this shit, and gather opinions.

There's no going back Bro! Don't take this the wrong way;But if the Situation is exactly as U've shared it;The Chicks a Fkn Weirdo Bitch;And your not going to look any better than U do now! If She doesn't hv a Crying Wolf History,Or something that says She's Fkd-Up;Your on the losing end;B'cuz She's been there longer! B Careful how U approach this;B'cuz if some1 has to go...Guess Who that's going to B???
Think it out Bro! And Good Luck!
🤘🏻🤟🤙...SP

The practical advice on here is very good, so I won’t add too much in that aspect.

It’s important not to try and speak to the woman in question for now. Don’t try to make up or reason with her. This can be hard, but it is important to let HR do any speaking/ mediation. If you can remain calm, carry on ‘as normal’ as best you can and ignore her it will look good to employers but also place you in a stronger position in terms of any psychology.

The most important thing is you keep yourself well mentally. The only factors you can control in this situation are your psychological state, and any practical actions you decide to perform. Trying to control anything else in the situation will just cause you stress, and the stress will make you less likely to be able to manage the situation optimally.

Give yourself ‘safe times’ to let your mind run away with itself about any shit you have in your head. Such as on a walk, in the shower, cooking etc. We can’t stop our mind thinking, but we can tire it out in a protected period of time so that it is less stressful when you need to perform. Exercise is a great way of using the energy of any anger to your benefit, and again it is a ‘safe time’. Venting like you have here is also very important to anyone other than in the workplace.

I do a Wim Hof style breathing exercise to calm my mind if it’s going bananas about something stressful. I do one daily, and an extra one if needed. The beginners one doesn’t work for me anymore so I do my own longer one. You hyperventilate for a period of time (30 breaths for beginners), breath out and hold your breath with empty lungs (1-1.5 minutes for beginners) and then repeat for 3 rounds. It is done lying on your back and it’s normal to feel a bit tingly or dizzy as it progresses. That’s just the change in carbon dioxide levels and it harmless. The beneficial effect after is like an amazing ‘runner’s high’.

Beginners guide…

I more or less said the same;But in Super Short Form! And a titch stronger on the approaching Her! Lol,🤣🤣🤣...SP

 

[Blood_Sport]

Try finding her on Facebook, idiots like that often post drama after drama simply to get attention from their friends, I see it almost daily from a couple of people I know. Also allow you bosses to see your work related portfolio, show them what you were doing with any work related photos you've taken.

Do not back down, you've had a good working partnership with this person, and she showed no signs of being offended on the day the photo was taken, as you said, you made the request and she said to go ahead and take the photo... maybe someone in her group of personal friends twisted her mind that the incident was 'harassment'?

 

[Insane.asylum]

Background info: I'm 37 (Southern Ontario, Canada), failed post-secondary attempts but that's the past right? Looking past regrets and looking into the varied skilled trades to find something I'd really enjoy doing that pays well. Until then, general labour jobs in the area; I lucked out with a pool company as a maintenance person.

They assigned me for first three days with this girl who's probably 22 at oldest. I'm not going to jeopardize this new job that pays a decent starting wage for the coming inflation. So I actually respect women a lot and actually try to make them comfortable around me, by not ogling them or staring, catcalling or any of that shit they complain about so much about actual creeps. Me and her start off pretty good, she's good at her job and taught me most of what I know so far. Any other talk we've had has been random and mundane, like her bringing up her personal life, and we compared pets and she even asked me advice on how to handle her and her mom's dogs' separation, and I emphasized to bring dog for visit as often as possible when she goes to see her mom.

One day I want to take a selfie to add to profile pictures, because I want more photos of myself in varying situations. (Vital point to add: girls have complimented my looks quite a few times in the past, I'm not saying that to brag, but just to illuminate this isn't some fucking goblin hitting on a 10 lol). I considered just taking it sideways to show work equipment and part of her in picture incidentally, but I decided to ask permission first. She was driving and I asked loud and clear if I could take a work selfie for photo collection, and if she was in shot I'd blur or crop it. She turned slightly, saw phone and said "Yeah, that's fine."

Then she reports me to the manager, who calls me in the next morning to say she accused me of harassment and taking photos of her. Despite her granting explicit consent to my face. Not usually confrontational, and in the moment of being chewed out, I didn't remember to say that. The girl avoided me terribly, didn't say hello, looked past me, like night and day. Since girls talk, she has guaranteed told other co-workers her version of events by now.

They assigned me with someone else, we did our first few jobs but I was still badly affected by the harassment accusation. It took a few hours before I realized I forgot she granted consent.

The harassment policy in the employee handbook states "All events will be investigated fully and fairly in a reasonable amount of time. No employee will be reprimanded in any way for reporting an act of violence or harassment regardless of the outcome of the investigation." Typical harassment policy, but does that mean female employees can make shit up about a guy they work with, with no fear of consequence to themselves?

Going in 30 min early Monday, going to constructively discuss this with manager and seeing what happens; because the situation as it stands is untenable, and imo this is a huge misunderstanding, or she forgot what she said. I'd love it to just go back to normal with no awkwardness, but we'll see. But I won't work at a place that labels me a harasser unfairly, without due process. I'll do best to enjoy weekend before then.

I just had to vent about this shit, and gather opinions.

Where i work its all black females. I'm a white male and I'm waiting for the day they pull the race card or sexual anything card. Thats why I avoid all of them. Can't do my job because I'm fearful of liars. In this day and age you are guilty until proven innocent...and to prove innocent you practically need video proof which is impossible in my profession due to video cameras legally not being allowed. My solution...don't stay anywhere for too long...don't make friends...don't talk with anybody about anything except work...record everything if you can....hide from racist ignorant people...don't stick out....don't be an individual...paranoia will keep you alive...don't talk to law enforcement even if you have nothing to hide...sleep with 1 eye open...don't trust anyone including your family. Ok now for advice...find another job and don't be friends with anyone...especially women. You sound like you need some social exceptance taking selfies and shit. Knock it off. You don't matter in this world. Work pay your bills. Do what you enjoy alone. Live in a van. That's life.

 

[Vwj]

Kick her in the cunt

 

[Brainfart]

You are fucked. Once you have been accused of something, it's hard to clear your name. So why not go with it and rape the bitch...

 

[charlesleeeray]

Background info: I'm 37 (Southern Ontario, Canada), failed post-secondary attempts but that's the past right? Looking past regrets and looking into the varied skilled trades to find something I'd really enjoy doing that pays well. Until then, general labour jobs in the area; I lucked out with a pool company as a maintenance person.

They assigned me for first three days with this girl who's probably 22 at oldest. I'm not going to jeopardize this new job that pays a decent starting wage for the coming inflation. So I actually respect women a lot and actually try to make them comfortable around me, by not ogling them or staring, catcalling or any of that shit they complain about so much about actual creeps. Me and her start off pretty good, she's good at her job and taught me most of what I know so far. Any other talk we've had has been random and mundane, like her bringing up her personal life, and we compared pets and she even asked me advice on how to handle her and her mom's dogs' separation, and I emphasized to bring dog for visit as often as possible when she goes to see her mom.

One day I want to take a selfie to add to profile pictures, because I want more photos of myself in varying situations. (Vital point to add: girls have complimented my looks quite a few times in the past, I'm not saying that to brag, but just to illuminate this isn't some fucking goblin hitting on a 10 lol). I considered just taking it sideways to show work equipment and part of her in picture incidentally, but I decided to ask permission first. She was driving and I asked loud and clear if I could take a work selfie for photo collection, and if she was in shot I'd blur or crop it. She turned slightly, saw phone and said "Yeah, that's fine."

Then she reports me to the manager, who calls me in the next morning to say she accused me of harassment and taking photos of her. Despite her granting explicit consent to my face. Not usually confrontational, and in the moment of being chewed out, I didn't remember to say that. The girl avoided me terribly, didn't say hello, looked past me, like night and day. Since girls talk, she has guaranteed told other co-workers her version of events by now.

They assigned me with someone else, we did our first few jobs but I was still badly affected by the harassment accusation. It took a few hours before I realized I forgot she granted consent.

The harassment policy in the employee handbook states "All events will be investigated fully and fairly in a reasonable amount of time. No employee will be reprimanded in any way for reporting an act of violence or harassment regardless of the outcome of the investigation." Typical harassment policy, but does that mean female employees can make shit up about a guy they work with, with no fear of consequence to themselves?

Going in 30 min early Monday, going to constructively discuss this with manager and seeing what happens; because the situation as it stands is untenable, and imo this is a huge misunderstanding, or she forgot what she said. I'd love it to just go back to normal with no awkwardness, but we'll see. But I won't work at a place that labels me a harasser unfairly, without due process. I'll do best to enjoy weekend before then.

I just had to vent about this shit, and gather opinions.

Your word against hers ? Where is the proof of this photo ?
Don’t see how this is harresment

 

[Pïggÿ]

If you are a fucking pervert, admited it and kill yourself. You will gain some respect back if you do that. Nothing I hate more than fucking perverts. And, if you are not a pervert, you are an idiot who needs a lesson on personal boundaries. So, fuck yourself, own your shit and grow up.

It would be one thing if he was taking creepshots but he literally asked permission. Maybe girlie should own her shit and grow up.

“Is it okay if you’re in my picture a little bit?”
“No thank you”
“Okay that’s fine”

It literally could’ve been that simple.

 

[HG]

pretty certain im not the only one who wants to see this picture...

 

[Mackerel]

It would be one thing if he was taking creepshots but he literally asked permission. Maybe girlie should own her shit and grow up.

“Is it okay if you’re in my picture a little bit?”
“No, thank you.”
“Okay, that’s fine.”

It literally could’ve been that simple.

I appreciate what you are saying, and there is a chance she is just a lying bitch; but you see, he could also be a creep looking for sympathy. I have no sympathy for perverts. And, everyone knows we live in times where you can be accused just for smiling; that is why you need to be wise around women, mostly in the workplace.

 

[Racist Bastard]

Background info: I'm 37 (Southern Ontario, Canada), failed post-secondary attempts but that's the past right? Looking past regrets and looking into the varied skilled trades to find something I'd really enjoy doing that pays well. Until then, general labour jobs in the area; I lucked out with a pool company as a maintenance person.

They assigned me for first three days with this girl who's probably 22 at oldest. I'm not going to jeopardize this new job that pays a decent starting wage for the coming inflation. So I actually respect women a lot and actually try to make them comfortable around me, by not ogling them or staring, catcalling or any of that shit they complain about so much about actual creeps. Me and her start off pretty good, she's good at her job and taught me most of what I know so far. Any other talk we've had has been random and mundane, like her bringing up her personal life, and we compared pets and she even asked me advice on how to handle her and her mom's dogs' separation, and I emphasized to bring dog for visit as often as possible when she goes to see her mom.

One day I want to take a selfie to add to profile pictures, because I want more photos of myself in varying situations. (Vital point to add: girls have complimented my looks quite a few times in the past, I'm not saying that to brag, but just to illuminate this isn't some fucking goblin hitting on a 10 lol). I considered just taking it sideways to show work equipment and part of her in picture incidentally, but I decided to ask permission first. She was driving and I asked loud and clear if I could take a work selfie for photo collection, and if she was in shot I'd blur or crop it. She turned slightly, saw phone and said "Yeah, that's fine."

Then she reports me to the manager, who calls me in the next morning to say she accused me of harassment and taking photos of her. Despite her granting explicit consent to my face. Not usually confrontational, and in the moment of being chewed out, I didn't remember to say that. The girl avoided me terribly, didn't say hello, looked past me, like night and day. Since girls talk, she has guaranteed told other co-workers her version of events by now.

They assigned me with someone else, we did our first few jobs but I was still badly affected by the harassment accusation. It took a few hours before I realized I forgot she granted consent.

The harassment policy in the employee handbook states "All events will be investigated fully and fairly in a reasonable amount of time. No employee will be reprimanded in any way for reporting an act of violence or harassment regardless of the outcome of the investigation." Typical harassment policy, but does that mean female employees can make shit up about a guy they work with, with no fear of consequence to themselves?

Going in 30 min early Monday, going to constructively discuss this with manager and seeing what happens; because the situation as it stands is untenable, and imo this is a huge misunderstanding, or she forgot what she said. I'd love it to just go back to normal with no awkwardness, but we'll see. But I won't work at a place that labels me a harasser unfairly, without due process. I'll do best to enjoy weekend before then.

I just had to vent about this shit, and gather opinions.

Destroy her! Find a way to get her fired. Be devious AF!

 

[Brainfart]

pretty certain im not the only one who wants to see this picture...

Yeah I would like to grade her on the fuckable scale...

 

[Captain GhoulAgain]

Ask no one for anything. Just take and don't give back.

 

[mrln]

most women dont belong in the trades,imo. not to sound chauvinist or anything. this is an example why. i try to take pics of the work i do. its my portfolio or resume,as you will. things will be said that she dont like,and its too fucking bad for her. any broad in the trades,is in a mans world at that point. and they need thick skin. theres things thats going to be said or done that women wont like or be fond of. so men need to be "correct" at work too? but its ok for women to not though,right?
turn the heat on this broad. find her social media accounts. find out her past,of the same behaviour. if theres a lil history on this. maybe she was raped and dont want to work with a guy because shes paranoid. maybe shes looking for a pay day and wants to sue? who knows why. but stay farfar away till this shit is settled. and when it is all figured out and if your in the clear,counter and sue her for harassment of sexual harassment.

 

[Fentanyl Floyd]

Just kick her head first into one of the pools when no one is looking

 

[cannedkittens]

I hate 97% of women. I will still hate fuck them though.

 

[HG]

Just kick her head first into one of the pools when no one is looking

aye - take some aftershot pics - post those fuckers up - she whats she says about that shit...

 

[Mr. Ser Jr]

Background info: I'm 37 (Southern Ontario, Canada), failed post-secondary attempts but that's the past right? Looking past regrets and looking into the varied skilled trades to find something I'd really enjoy doing that pays well. Until then, general labour jobs in the area; I lucked out with a pool company as a maintenance person.

They assigned me for first three days with this girl who's probably 22 at oldest. I'm not going to jeopardize this new job that pays a decent starting wage for the coming inflation. So I actually respect women a lot and actually try to make them comfortable around me, by not ogling them or staring, catcalling or any of that shit they complain about so much about actual creeps. Me and her start off pretty good, she's good at her job and taught me most of what I know so far. Any other talk we've had has been random and mundane, like her bringing up her personal life, and we compared pets and she even asked me advice on how to handle her and her mom's dogs' separation, and I emphasized to bring dog for visit as often as possible when she goes to see her mom.

One day I want to take a selfie to add to profile pictures, because I want more photos of myself in varying situations. (Vital point to add: girls have complimented my looks quite a few times in the past, I'm not saying that to brag, but just to illuminate this isn't some fucking goblin hitting on a 10 lol). I considered just taking it sideways to show work equipment and part of her in picture incidentally, but I decided to ask permission first. She was driving and I asked loud and clear if I could take a work selfie for photo collection, and if she was in shot I'd blur or crop it. She turned slightly, saw phone and said "Yeah, that's fine."

Then she reports me to the manager, who calls me in the next morning to say she accused me of harassment and taking photos of her. Despite her granting explicit consent to my face. Not usually confrontational, and in the moment of being chewed out, I didn't remember to say that. The girl avoided me terribly, didn't say hello, looked past me, like night and day. Since girls talk, she has guaranteed told other co-workers her version of events by now.

They assigned me with someone else, we did our first few jobs but I was still badly affected by the harassment accusation. It took a few hours before I realized I forgot she granted consent.

The harassment policy in the employee handbook states "All events will be investigated fully and fairly in a reasonable amount of time. No employee will be reprimanded in any way for reporting an act of violence or harassment regardless of the outcome of the investigation." Typical harassment policy, but does that mean female employees can make shit up about a guy they work with, with no fear of consequence to themselves?

Going in 30 min early Monday, going to constructively discuss this with manager and seeing what happens; because the situation as it stands is untenable, and imo this is a huge misunderstanding, or she forgot what she said. I'd love it to just go back to normal with no awkwardness, but we'll see. But I won't work at a place that labels me a harasser unfairly, without due process. I'll do best to enjoy weekend before then.

I just had to vent about this shit, and gather opinions.

nice beard for a 37 year old ... lol

 

[HG]

Where i work its all black females.

you are a stripper/lapdancer/trap house boss?

I have no sympathy for perverts.

@Ku Klux Kloyce - @Rick James - @Interregnum - avoid this dude - he dosent like your kind...

 

[King-Rory]

Yeah I would like to grade her on the fuckable scale...

Why do you bother with the pretence? We all know that if she is female and got a pulse you will want to fuck her!