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Monkeys 'learn to eat soil to cope with junk food'

Hmm, monkeys are smashing dirt to fix their guts after too much tourist ice cream and crisps. Well, it's time for the fatty boombatty Americans to start shovelling dirt from their nan's back garden to get 'em off them GLP-1 jabs. Couple of spoonfuls of soil and they'll be sound as a pound. Nature's own Ozempic, that.
 
Oh why do you hate us why ??
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This reminds me of a story about a Doctor(?) feeding his family pond silt for an extended period (a year maybe?) to prove that it was nutritionally viable for survival. I can't remember all the details. I read about it a long time ago.
 
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