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FYI Harumph's Thanksgiving Feast for Two (or more)

Harumph

Death, it's a living.
You asked for it! This is it! From me to you!

Here at the Reaper's home, we spatchcock two five pound whole fresh chickens (spines removed and pressed to flatten), then brine them in Emeril Lagasse's Brined and Roasted Turkey brine for 12 hours. Then we remove them and thoroughly rinse them in room temperature water in the sink and dry them with paper towels. Next, set them on paper towel lined sheet pans for the skin to dry even more (about two to three hours depending on the humidity in your home). Season them to your preferences. We use salt, pepper and a little red pepper flakes then place a homegrown sage chiffonade under the skin throughout, after an oil and soft butter-rub all around to adhere the seasonings before placing them on a sheet pan lined with a bed of freshly sliced citrus, and chunked mirepoix, breast side up. Then roast them in a 350°F oven until the temperature on a probe thermometer reaches 165°F when inserted into the largest section of thigh (avoiding the bone). Begin looking at the temperature at about 45 minutes. They don't take long. Remove and set aside to rest for 20 minutes while you make the gravy with the drippings, also following Emeril Lagasse's recipe which includes white wine (Chardonnay).

Cranberry Sauce - Alton Brown's cranberry sauce is a traditional and required American side dish. It's simple and you can make it a day ahead so it sets up properly. Accept no substitutes!

Green Bean Casserole - Alton Brown's Green Bean Casserole is amazing. We use French's Fried Onions instead of making them. You don't have to deal with hot oil that way.

Stuffin' Muffins – Reaper Family Recipe going back more than a century!

15 slices of toast, cut into sixths
½ cup of vegetable shortening
1 cup diced onion
1 cup diced celery
½ tsp freshly ground black pepper
1 tbsp poultry seasoning
1 tsp ground sage
1 cup chicken stock (homemade or Better than Boullion Roasted Chicken)

Melt shortening, fry onion and celery until softened and onions are transparent. Add spices and stock. Stir to combine. Pour over toast and mix thoroughly.

Spray your muffin tins (I prefer silicone muffin trays) with cooking spray (like Pam) and create muffins out of the mixture. Should have enough for a dozen Stuffin’ Muffins. Bake at 350°F for 30 minutes or until they are golden brown and slightly crispy.

For dessert, we traditionally have Grape Nuts Puff Pudding (circa 1952). Once removed from the oven, leave it in the water bath for another 30-45 minutes to set the custard.

Nuts.com also has an outstanding Pecan Pie, most suitable for guests, too. Don't forget to make Roasted Chestnuts throughout the holiday season.

Optional Sides: LeSeur Peas with pearl onions and mushrooms – drained and heated with butter, salt and pepper if you are lazy and don’t want the above green bean casserole. Mashed Potatoes. Sweet Potatoes. Sweet Potato Pie. All are delicious and make great leftovers with the chickens. Lastly, the chicken makes the best chicken salad you've had.

Save all of the carcasses/bones to make homemade stock.

I hope you try this much easier version of Thanksgiving Dinner for you and your family. If these directions are followed, you will be the envy of all you survey. Be prepared to share this as it will be in demand as it has been with us over the years. Enjoy!

H
 
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This is great, thanks for sharing!

(The Autistic part of my brain had me in a trance at the dancing turkeys on the avatar for eight fucking minutes)
You're very welcome! This avatar was taken from among the more surreal parts of Peter Gabriel's award winning Sledgehammer video, released in 1986. Time stamp (3:25). You're welcome for that, too.
:lulz:
 
he said in the paragraph,he raises chickens.
you too, must've been distracted by the dancing turkeys.
My bad. I was too distracted by a turkey twerking in my head to notice. I couldn't help it. Here, look @mrln 😂


giphy.gif
 
a twerkey
Gotta get people good and hungry! Twerk turkey twerk!! Make it rain dumplings 🤣

It missing something... Oh I know!


Now I got that song in my head 🤣

Gotta get people good and hungry! Twerk turkey twerk!! Make it rain dumplings 🤣


Now I got that song in my head 🤣
Drop it like it’s hot works too 🤣 and Work it by Missy E. I know I did my share of dropping it like it’s hot back in da day at da club!!! 🤣 good and hung over the next morning but got a great leg workout 😅🤣


Gotta get people good and hungry! Twerk turkey twerk!! Make it rain dumplings 🤣


Now I got that song in my head 🤣


Drop it like it’s hot works too 🤣 and Work it by Missy E. I know I did my share of dropping it like it’s hot back in da day at da club!!! 🤣 good and hung over the next morning but got a great leg workout 😅🤣

 
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