The Honest Pre-Flight Announcement You Should Be Told (1 Viewer)

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Dr. Johnny Fever

aka Bill Murray
I don't know if this is real or not but its pretty good and I agree with most of what the pilot has to say.



I used to fly a lot and despite being able to recite the Canadian, Air Canada or American videoed safety announcement from memory I'd still put down my Blackberry, make eye contact with the flight attendant in-front of me and at least pretend to pay attention to them (in reality if they were cute I was probably just staring at her tits, if she wasn't cute or was a dude I was probably still staring at their tits). Why pay attention? For one, they do tell you some reasonably important safety information that might save your life (although the pilot's message in the attached video is a bit more realistic....in particular counting the number of rows between your seat and the nearest exit) but its also the courteous thing to do. Flight attendants get very little respect and on a plane of say 200 passengers if there are one or two who actually pay attention to them and show them a bit of decency it will pay off in the service you receive. Same thing with the airline ticket or gate agents, car rental or front desk staff, etc. Be polite & friendly, they're usually wearing a name tag so address them accordingly, even if they are cute don't flirt and ask them how their day is going. That's the quickest way to get an upgrade.
 

wiggins

Forum Veteran
I don't know if this is real or not but its pretty good and I agree with most of what the pilot has to say.



I used to fly a lot and despite being able to recite the Canadian, Air Canada or American videoed safety announcement from memory I'd still put down my Blackberry, make eye contact with the flight attendant in-front of me and at least pretend to pay attention to them (in reality if they were cute I was probably just staring at her tits, if she wasn't cute or was a dude I was probably still staring at their tits). Why pay attention? For one, they do tell you some reasonably important safety information that might save your life (although the pilot's message in the attached video is a bit more realistic....in particular counting the number of rows between your seat and the nearest exit) but its also the courteous thing to do. Flight attendants get very little respect and on a plane of say 200 passengers if there are one or two who actually pay attention to them and show them a bit of decency it will pay off in the service you receive. Same thing with the airline ticket or gate agents, car rental or front desk staff, etc. Be polite & friendly, they're usually wearing a name tag so address them accordingly, even if they are cute don't flirt and ask them how their day is going. That's the quickest way to get an upgrade.

 

Inhaler

Forum Veteran
If I'm on a plane I'm usually drunk and on valium... I expect to die if there's an incident. I made my choice.

Good video though
 

Dr. Johnny Fever

aka Bill Murray
If I'm on a plane I'm usually drunk and on valium... I expect to die if there's an incident. I made my choice.

Good video though
Ya, while I like the guy's video I'm not so sure about the survivability stats he quotes. I can't remember the exact terminology used by the NTSB or other investigating agencies but its something like "at speed" vs "ground" to differentiate between incidents that occur during flight vs. while on the apron. IMO if its a catastrophic in flight/at speed incident you're fucked no matter what. Speed isn't what kills, its acceleration or specifically deceleration. You can be seated right next to an emergency exit and wearing your helmet and if you hit the ground at 500km/h you're going to turn into fine grind.

As for your choice to be drunk/stoned on a plane....have at it. My only request is that you take a window seat not in an emergency exit aisle.
 

lechmich

Forum Veteran
Two design improvements that would save lives:

-Turn all the seats around
-Lock the overhead bins while in flight

Will they ever do that shit? no
 

wiggins

Forum Veteran
Two design improvements that would save lives:

-Turn all the seats around
-Lock the overhead bins while in flight

Will they ever do that shit? no
That is a very good and well engineered thought. Military troop transport aircraft often have the seats facing towards the rear for this very reason. Facing the rear results in maximum G running through maximum supported area: the entire spine from below the pelvis to the atlas, the skull, all the mass of the body is pressed against a nice padded secure surface (the seat) rather than the midriff being bent around a steel tight nylon belt.

Of course the public would never buy it. Poor dumb fucks that they are. The airlines are too afraid of the 'C' word to push it. QANTAS a few years ago had a 747 over run a Thai runway during an aquaplaning horror wet season landing and plough into a golf course. Technically a write off, they fixed the fucker at great cost just so they could fly it back to Aus and then sell it. It was thus 'technically' a 'minor landing accident' and not a CRASH, keeping QANTAS' 'crash free' record in tact.

I note QANTAS had an international flight in Aukland the other day complete with fashionable 'Pride Month' logos in rainbow colours so they are clearly focused on safety...



Span Loaders are the future of airtravel in the next hundred years or so. No fuselage to cause drag and just an all lifting wing. Of course the big drama, and probably the main reason we are not seeing them now, is that the passengers will not have access to windows to see the view. Of course, utilisation of TV monitors to get a 'virtual view' would allow seats to be rear facing thus enhancing safety but fashion is so important...

1690060213729.png


Thai golf course issues... please excuse the African Basket ball player seen in advertisement on this site...


Span loader concepts:
1690060785545.png


 
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