alhazred
All Fanatics Must Die
A couple of friends of mine has a problem:
Every christmas, their father/father-in-law gives them a gnome figure as a gift. They have no interest in them, but don't have the heart to tell the old guy. They now have five of them, too large and heavy to liberate, but they can't bring themselves to throw them out or sell them off.
My suggestion:
1. Sew/acquire orange jump suits for each gnome
2. Purchase Ninja figures of suitable sizes in black, preferably with tanto/katana knife/sword
3. Place Ninjas (IS / ISIS soldiers) behind the gnomes, place knives in front of throats if possible
4. paint the gnomes' beards red from the middle of the throat and down.
5. Place strategically and/or take pictures.
This would at the very least a) absorb some energy and aggression connected to this problem and b) help create an entertaining work of art. But that's me. They're not as interested in jihadism as I am. However, they have a sick sense of humor and would not be hostile to politically incorrect (and/or gory) solutions. Feel free to suggest a plan of action to neutralize the threat of straight-laced christmas vibes.
Every christmas, their father/father-in-law gives them a gnome figure as a gift. They have no interest in them, but don't have the heart to tell the old guy. They now have five of them, too large and heavy to liberate, but they can't bring themselves to throw them out or sell them off.
My suggestion:
1. Sew/acquire orange jump suits for each gnome
2. Purchase Ninja figures of suitable sizes in black, preferably with tanto/katana knife/sword
3. Place Ninjas (IS / ISIS soldiers) behind the gnomes, place knives in front of throats if possible
4. paint the gnomes' beards red from the middle of the throat and down.
5. Place strategically and/or take pictures.
This would at the very least a) absorb some energy and aggression connected to this problem and b) help create an entertaining work of art. But that's me. They're not as interested in jihadism as I am. However, they have a sick sense of humor and would not be hostile to politically incorrect (and/or gory) solutions. Feel free to suggest a plan of action to neutralize the threat of straight-laced christmas vibes.
shock to read they still make those pointless items & folk still bought them. Sadly they were doomed the moment they accepted the first one.should have been honest with the old guy & he would most likely thought more of them. Take that 
back to the store & give us the fuckin money instead. This is a door' please use it 
