Have you ever stolen from your employer? If yes what? Did you get caught?

[Bill Murray]

Stole minor items like pens, roll of tape, pack of post-it’s, etc but only one thing of significance. Early in my professional career I was a product manager for a computer company and when I moved into my cubicle I found about a dozen memory SIMM modules the previous occupant had left behind. After a few months asked my boss what I should do with them, he just shrugged and said “I don’t know” (not the most inspiring of leaders). So another few months I said fuck it and they went home with me. Listed them on a buy/sell site and sold most of them over the course of a weekend. Think I netted around $500.

But I was scared shitless I was going to get caught. Never did tho. Doubt they were ever noticed as missing. Funny thing is one of my coworkers was busted about a year later for stealing $100k in new hard drives and ram.

 

[Rabidface]

When I was a machinist I would steal end drills, taps, measuring tools, pieces of pipe for a cosh, just little things but pointless except the end drills. I kinda got caught as the tools would be bought in for a particular job. One day the bosses son went looking for a die set (for cutting threads) and he couldn't find it. I immediately got the blame so I went to look for it and there it was. That did not help me as he swears he searched that exact place. I didn't want to work there anyway, I hated it. One day the manager went in our toilet and as I'd been making joints in their for months the floor was covered in baccy and cigarettes I'd taken the baccy out of. They are obviously a sign of joints being made and that was also a problem. I only took the job as I could ride there on my bike. I wanted to be a fitter.

 

[Chernika]

The usual. Pens, printer ink. Bolt cutters once upon a time but Is it really theft if the said item was beneficial to many?

No, I was never caught.

 

[Poacher]

I kind of stole/took in lieu. I worked for a stonemasonry/restoration company at the time and the project manager had no idea about my role but insisted she knew it better than me (bosses daughter who ran a greek restaurant with no building experience) and through the summer holidays we had a big job at a school and they wanted me to do weekends, i said yeah but i want this amount for sat and sunday etc and all was agreed. I worked 4 weekends and didnt get paid and they kept saying that its a different payment to your weekly wage due to tax and insurance. Bullshit. I loaded my van up with probably £2500 worth of power tools and told her she would get them back once i am paid. She called the police and the police came to my house, after a long chat they told me i was in the right! She never paid so i kept some of the tools and sold the rest to make up the money for the weekend work. I would love to shit on that bitch.

 

[M.O.DENGLER]

When I was 18 I once borrowed a tank for about twenty minutes and everyone, unreasonably in my view, 'lost their shit.'

My troop cpl shouted at me for about an hour until I let him know I was about ready to knock him spark out, effective immediately.

So he grassed me up.

 

[Dolly]

I went to work in a shop (large chain shop) while I was at Uni.. 4 other staff, 2 general workers one manager and an assistant manager. Day 1 within 5 seconds I sussed the AM was a slimy cunt, He flirted with me in an over the top quite disgusting manner, very sexual comments, but yeah he eventually got more blase and even started boasting to me how he was stealing very small amounts of stuff, money and stock, but really not much. he was even drinking at work ..One day working with just him he got his cock out to show me he had a boner , maybe because I never even flinched at all of his shit talk ever, I just ignored him. I needed the income to get me through my education. But yeah this disgusting ferret faced cunt went a step to far. that was the day I decided to fuck him over. I began stealing stock... loads of it, right in front of him, he took a cheap small item i took something valuable and said... if yah gonna steal go big.. he had previously shown me how he dodged the CCTV it was an ancient VHS system that flicked between 3 cameras and only recorded one cam at a time, the tape was changed daily and recycled in rotation after 1 week.

I continued my thefts even when I worked alone as we often did the manager was getting really upset at his profit and loss bonus slding down the pan, the AM was drinking more and his little dance around the cctv was often forgotten, he was stealing while being recorded but relying on it being wiped he'd often just re wind the tape for the next day.. but i was swapping them. One day i told the manager ' Its the AM stealing check yesterdays cctv at 1.12 pm' etc and there he was sneaking shit off the shelves taking it i the back, walking in the shop with no bag... leaving shifts with a full bag etc etc , he had also stolen alcohol and been drinking it at work and leaving many empties in the skips outside. He was going to the pub next door to the bank for a few hours a shift too when he did the banking I gave the manager everything.

I of course left no evidence ever. the manager hauled the AM in he was an ex cop, and bullshitted a bit and said he was having the empty booze cans DNA tested..manager had also been to the pub and asked when the AM came in... they told the truth.. 'most days and he has several pints'... so ofc the AM being a thick cunt folded and confessed, was given the option to quit so left . I even assisted in the disciplinary interview and stared him out the entire interview, he was terrified of me. I got his job, nice pay rise and stopped stealing immediately. Id had about 5ks worth of stock and around 16k in unbanked takings.

I dont feel bad about it either. He was a cunt.

 

[HG]

As a Civil Servant working in a huge office with 700+ staff for nearly 20 years I had the opportunity to steal a few hearts...

 

[msr]

As a Civil Servant working in a huge office with 700+ staff for nearly 20 years I had the opportunity to steal a few hearts...

You heart breaking fucker, ruining those guys dreams.

 

[Choppy]

I grew up around criminals. The stories they would tell. I have never stolen anything because of those stories.

Which is strange, well good really.

I'm not a criminal 🤣

 

[King-Rory]

A motorcycle engine, well sort of. I pinched a good engine and put a fucked one back in its place when I worked at a motorcycle breakers.

 

[SagittariusA*]

I am a real gangster, I printed a few documents with a few hundred pages each, so I dont have to print it at home. But hey, they didnt pay me what I deserved either. I even bought my own pens because their pens were so shitty. So it was justified.

 

[mrln]

i didnt work here,but this is about theft in a sense...
i stole a 12'' compound mitre slide chop saw from home depot. when de walt first came out with it,from home depot. long story short. there was a discrepency with the back fence. it was moulded into the base of the saw. anyway,it wasnt cutting accurateley. even with adjustments to the saw. i proved it to the store manager. he was in disbelief till he saw it. anyway i bought the saw and tried to use it the next day,when i discovered that. went back that night of the day of discovery to do an exchange. when i origionally purchased it,i put it on my credit card. it cost almost 1000 usd. so as i walk to the register with the exchanged saw with the manager,he just left me with the clerk. she was a trainee. she proceeded to do the exchange and card transaction stuff. she then asked me, "would you like me to take it off the card?" with that,my eyes light up and i say,"yes you may". i got the bill and my card was credited the amount of the saw and i wasnt charged for it. so they fucked up,but i let it slide at the register. so its like i stole it.
same home depot- i was looking into getting a gas grill. i was eyeing one up that was close to 300 usd. a worker said to me if i would like it. and i said,"i think the price is a bit steep,dont ya think?" with that he said,"for 75 bux,its yours. meet me at the loading dock." so i met him at the dock. gave him the 75 dollars and threw it on my truck. and drove away.

 

[Béla Kiss]

I used to steal packs of smokes when I worked at a grocery store. For whatever reason they never counted stock so they never noticed. They supported my smoking habit for 3 months before they let me go for having a resting bitch face (yes, people did complain)

 

[Ku Klux Kloyce]

I'm absolutely appalled at the thieves we have on this site. 😑

 

[Humungus]

Ordered a litre of Southern Comfort from Amazon on Black Friday for 15 quid day after tracking said 8 stops away then it never moved,got an email later saying will deliver tomorrow but it didn’t arrive next day got an email your parcel is lost and we’ve refunded you. 10 days later fat lass over the road gives me a shout as I’m going out she waves a box at me and says we’ve had this ages been waiting for you to collect it. Forgot how horrid and sweet southern comfort is but it goes down half and half with Bourbon.

 

[girl101]

When I was 18 I once borrowed a tank for about twenty minutes and everyone, unreasonably in my view, 'lost their shit.'

My troop cpl shouted at me for about an hour until I let him know I was about ready to knock him spark out, effective immediately.

So he grassed me up.

Did you get a dishonorable discharge.for that?

 

[King-Rory]

I'm absolutely appalled at the thieves we have on this site. 😑

I'll have you know that I'm no thief! I'm just a devious cunt that borrows things with absolutely no intention of ever giving them back!

 

[Humungus]

Did you get a dishonorable discharge.for that?

Mo’s no stranger to a discharge.

 

[bgirl]

I'm absolutely appalled at the thieves we have on this site. 😑

Niggers

 

[campkla]

so many questions with so many confessions, why?