Stupid things you’ve done for sex

[Bill Murray]

It's a very pleasant and comforting thought to know out there in the world some guy imagines my anus blinking when I was 26 years old specifically.. <3

I normally think of your brown eye winking at age 23 but thats just me

its almost hypnotic

 

[Graziani]

One stupid thing i made for sex was:
Listen type o negative during sex.
She was a huge fan of October Rust. I dont like that band, but ok to listen it, 8f she want, lets do it


A lot of times same fuckin album when get laid time.

She also brought to me dead can dance. GOOD band.
It was sex and music on bed

 

[jmjor77]

Talked to a guy a few years ago on Match who was pretty good-looking and wanted no-strings attached sex, as did I. We made arrangements to meet up for a beer or two one day after I (and supposedly he) got off work but he said I would have to pick him up in the city because his car was at the mechanics. OK, red flag already and I wasn’t about to let a stranger in my car (isn’t that the point of meeting in a public place?) so I backed out because I thought it wasn’t a good idea.

Turns out I dodged a huge bullet. That evening he called, desperate to salvage the night and he finally admitted to me that he really didn’t have a car, because he was a Druid and he had to always be near his “grove”, and wanted me to meet him at his grove for sex. Whatever the fuck that means. In reality he was some homeless guy, the “grove” was a homeless camp on the North Side of Pittsburgh and no way was I going anywhere near that. I asked how he had a Match profile and he said he does it on his phone and charges his phone at the soup kitchen.

So, not stupidest thing, but definitely weirdest experience I had. This is why I always background check as much as possible before going out on dates now. The reason he was homeless was because he just got out of prison for assaulting a teenage girl which I found out later.

 

[HG]

wanted no-strings attached sex, as did I.

are you male or female?...

 

[jmjor77]

are you male or female?...

Female

 

[HG]

Female

you have made a few guys on here happy - enjoy the attention...

 

[Eyden2113]

Listened to a coworker cry about her man leaving her for hours on end just to be able to slide into that pussy. Oh...she was the stupid thing I did.

 

[Ewww777]

it was always in a pub someplace, you only need your drunk buddy arguing with some other alcoholic about football and the next thing you know a third guys got him in a headlock and it's on for young and old until someone yells "fuck! cops!" and the whole place empties out like noone was even there, and then you're all back there next Friday, laughing about it

Do you mean the real 27-24 type football or the 1-0 boring football?NVM you calling a bar a pub answers my question.

 

[Lidzgore]

If any girl says she likes anal sex, she has to be lying. My ex husband was obsessed with it but he was a masochistic psycho

Actually you're wrong... I enjoy it when it's done properly 😌 maybe your butthole wasn't lubricated enough or you were in an uncomfortable position

 

[Sicksicle]

If any girl says she likes anal sex, she has to be lying. My ex husband was obsessed with it but he was a masochistic psycho

not true, some women find it very enjoyable and even have orgasms from it. there are 65 million clitoral nerve endings that run along the anal canal and if a woman can get past the pain and the idea of it being gross for some it's amazing. I prefer fucking pussy but to each their own.

 

[diagnosticguy]

a stupid thing i've done for sex?

ignore all the red flags the crazy bitch was waving just because she was smoking hot with a perfect rack. (alcohol was involved...)

it took me months to get rid of her, and being rid of her came only because she was killed in a single vehicle accident
that was the upside.

the downside was that the fucking cunt broke into my house, got the keys to my supercharged big block powered 1967 super sport chevelle and lost control of it in a construction zone wrapping it around a steel light pole.

that was in the summer of 1980, im still pissed about the chevelle, it would run mid 11's at about 120 or so on street tires

i used to go piss on her grave when the mood struck me.

 

[Sicksicle]

Met a girl on a app called meet me about a year ago, she said she got off on public sex so we agreed to meet at a park at night. I was so paranoid I was gonna get beat up and robbed or it was a man, I took my hunting knife out when I parked next to her car, it's the moment I realised we as men are stupid horny idiots. She was legit and we still fuck from time to time when she sends me a text lol, I reckon she's married.

 

[Captain Cockwash]

When fucking hookers, particularly when cruising the street, like most punters I made a lot of bad choices and got myself into a few tight scrapes but for this thread I’m looking to hear about the stupid things you’ve done or lengths you went to just to dip your wick in some slag.

For me two come to mind both from the days of the telephone hookup services like larvalife.

First was a slightly tubby chick who said she was 19 (I think closer to 17, so legal just creepy given I was 23 or 24) but said she loved sex and in particular getting dogged in the keister. Over a couple weeks of getting the run around of reasons why she couldn’t meet that evening I probably spent $50 on the phone chat, another $50 on toys for her and when we finally did meet another $80 on dinner (she wanted to get fed before she got fucked...I think I expensed it) and another $100 on a dodgy motel room. Sex was boring, her cunt was hairy & stunk and I got poo on my balls. The ROI analysis of time and money spent made whores look good.

Second was a German chick working at a hotel in Banff (a mountain resort town about an hour’s drive for me in clear driving conditions) who was actually very cute and I still have no idea why she had to use a chat service to get laid and not just grab one of the hundreds of obnoxious Aussie dudes working there. But nonetheless we made a connection over the phone, she liked the pic I hotmail’d her and I liked the one she yahoo’d me. What made it very stupid was I thought it was a good idea to make the drive at 11pm in the middle of a wicked blizzard. That normally easy drive took over three hours and was ass puckering scary, but I wanted to fuck so kept on going. Picked her up and after barely a hello she’s in my pants an sucking my dick as I drove to an empty campground. Parked, she kept on sucking and like a trooper swallowed my first load. Cuddled in the back seat for a while, made out, exchanged oral treats and then fucked for a couple of rounds with the first shot on goal being stopped by a condom and the second one hitting the mark since we went bare (that I’ve never caught anything like HIV or Hep still amazes me). Post sex she had no interest in any cuddling or convo, just wanted to be driven back to town. I obliged and then tried to decide what to do with myself. It was snowing harder than earlier and I was getting tired so thought about getting a room but said fuck it and started for home. Took over four hours and by the time I made it home was spent, called in sick and slept most of the day.

I'm with you, the amount of unprotected sex I've had without so much as catching a cold I am living proof God must love drunks and damn fools.

 

[Bill Murray]

I'm with you, the amount of unprotected sex I've had without so much as catching a cold I am living proof God must love drunks and damn fools.

When I was travelling a lot I was also fucking a lot of hookers and I perpetually had the sniffles. Between the airplanes, hotel rooms and whores I'm sure I picked up every cold/flu out there.

 

[Graziani]

In 2021, nothing. Im like DOA, without sex

 

[ilovedurian]

I fucked a fatty once.

 

[Lomnaxx]

If any girl says she likes anal sex, she has to be lying. My ex husband was obsessed with it but he was a masochistic psycho

I like it. 💅 ....n got a vagina

 

[Bill Murray]

I like it. 💅 ....n got a vagina

pics of said vagina or I call bravo sierra

 

[NObanana4you]

I trashed a women's abusive boyfriends BMW E36 M3, just so I could get access to her DD's.

Left very disappointed.

 

[Deleted User 201666]

Talked to a guy a few years ago on Match who was pretty good-looking and wanted no-strings attached sex, as did I. We made arrangements to meet up for a beer or two one day after I (and supposedly he) got off work but he said I would have to pick him up in the city because his car was at the mechanics. OK, red flag already and I wasn’t about to let a stranger in my car (isn’t that the point of meeting in a public place?) so I backed out because I thought it wasn’t a good idea.

Turns out I dodged a huge bullet. That evening he called, desperate to salvage the night and he finally admitted to me that he really didn’t have a car, because he was a Druid and he had to always be near his “grove”, and wanted me to meet him at his grove for sex. Whatever the fuck that means. In reality he was some homeless guy, the “grove” was a homeless camp on the North Side of Pittsburgh and no way was I going anywhere near that. I asked how he had a Match profile and he said he does it on his phone and charges his phone at the soup kitchen.

So, not stupidest thing, but definitely weirdest experience I had. This is why I always background check as much as possible before going out on dates now. The reason he was homeless was because he just got out of prison for assaulting a teenage girl which I found out later.

I have a car n a home but in the UK lol