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Funny Dont piss on my floor, bro

Had to buy my girlfriend a new hamper once for doing that. And a new dresser another time.
What can I say, piss happens.
I fucking woke up with damp blankets Sunday morning. But I knew that I didn't piss the bed. So I did my own investigation. At some point I cooked hot dogs and found the plate that I used for it covered with water. Meaning, my drunk ass spilled hot dog water all over the plate that I was using the buns and hot dogs on. We're the buns soaked? I have no clue. I ate them both. And snuggled with hot dog water tainted blankets.

:ohyeah:

Figure it out, dude.
 
wait till Christmas comes around

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Same. She made the mistake of laying down in the tub, and I pissed on her tits. It unintentionally splashed up in her face/mouth. That was a weird weekend.
I did it when they didn't know what I was doing. Sadly, I didn't even get laid by either of those chicks that night. I put a hickie on the slutty white girls butt cheek. But, as I stood up I banged my lower back on my faucet and bled all over the place.
 
I did it when they didn't know what I was doing. Sadly, I didn't even get laid by either of those chicks that night. I put a hickie on the slutty white girls butt cheek. But, as I stood up I banged my lower back on my faucet and bled all over the place.
Sorry to hear you lost the chance for 2-girl threesome fun in the shower because YOU ended up being the one to have the gusher, Spurts McGurk.

Too bad water sports quickly became Blood Sport.
Oh well, it’s all pipes. Just ask George Costanza.

IMG_1498.gif
 
I'm not really into that, tbh. I'm just an asshole who thinks it's funny to piss in drinks, shoes, and on slutty slightly fat women.

:ohyeah:
fuck I had a mate like this, but the prick would piss in an empty beer bottle and put the fucking cap back on. I shoved a fucking potato up the exhaust pipe of his car. Blew-out the exhaust. He never pissed in my beer again
 
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