How would you wipe that ass?

[Dolly]

Like he’s a robot so he’d be really strong. So after I shit he could stir me around in the river real fast like a washing machine. As long as he wouldn’t over do it and break my neck.
Maybe some protective goggles and a C-collar

Why do you have an imagination where this robot, who has an endless supply of materials can only invent, in your head, basic contraptions. My robot by now, has not only built my bidet, but an entire luxurious home, fitted with aids for the armless. I even have time now to chop peppers with my feet.

 

[Nobbler]

After surviving an apocalyptic episode, you and one other person are alone. A brief sexual relationship takes place that is violent and results in cannibalism due to radiation poisoning. While preparing to dismember the body, you accidentally cut off both of your arms.
A robot butler stands by to do your bidding. He has endless building materials and must construct a means for you to wipe your ass. While he is prepared to satisfy your sexual needs, his programming doesn’t allow him to wipe it for you. Unless it’s sexually related.

My idea was a sawhorse type contraption with a conveyor belt of toilet paper, that has pedals underneath that you power.

Apocalyptic episode? And you think there will be toilet paper, it all disappeared in one day over a stupid pandemic, I think you would have to find something else lol.

 

[Harumph]

1) Defecate.
2) Find waist deep stream of clean running fresh water.
3) Slowly wade into stream.
4) Squat over smooth rock.
5) Lightly rub anal opening against smooth rock for personal hygiene.
6) Pray that the piranha, candiru and crayfish went extinct from the radiation.
7) Rinse, repeat as needed.

 

[bigoaf6]

After surviving an apocalyptic episode, you and one other person are alone. A brief sexual relationship takes place that is violent and results in cannibalism due to radiation poisoning. While preparing to dismember the body, you accidentally cut off both of your arms.
A robot butler stands by to do your bidding. He has endless building materials and must construct a means for you to wipe your ass. While he is prepared to satisfy your sexual needs, his programming doesn’t allow him to wipe it for you. Unless it’s sexually related.

My idea was a sawhorse type contraption with a conveyor belt of toilet paper, that has pedals underneath that you power.

Find news papers get a screen. Dry. Cut out paper. You act like humans didn't live before corporate manufacturing.

 

[Asspipe]

The idea was simply how creative the idea or mechanism that could work. Pump the brakes Hercules

I have a robot spinning me around in the lake like a washing machine to clean my ass, you cut dry and wipe ur ass with old Garfield comics.

 

[Bruno Schulz]

After surviving an apocalyptic episode, you and one other person are alone. A brief sexual relationship takes place that is violent and results in cannibalism due to radiation poisoning. While preparing to dismember the body, you accidentally cut off both of your arms.
A robot butler stands by to do your bidding. He has endless building materials and must construct a means for you to wipe your ass. While he is prepared to satisfy your sexual needs, his programming doesn’t allow him to wipe it for you. Unless it’s sexually related.

My idea was a sawhorse type contraption with a conveyor belt of toilet paper, that has pedals underneath that you power.

Why would I care at that point? There'd be nobody around to judge my shitty ass. Likewise, there'd be nobody around to impress with my clean ass. I suppose, after scraping off the large chunks on a rock, or a fire hydrant, or the corner of a park bench, or even the robot itself, I would wait for what's left to dry; then, perhaps, I just dance and gesticulate like a tantrumming autistic kid until the dried remnants sloughed off.

 

[Asspipe]

Why would I care at that point? There'd be nobody around to judge my shitty ass. Likewise, there'd be nobody around to impress with my clean ass. I suppose, after scraping off the large chunks on a rock, or a fire hydrant, or the corner of a park bench, or even the robot itself, I would wait for what's left to dry; then, perhaps, I just dance and gesticulate like a tantrumming autistic kid until the dried remnants sloughed off.

Nice. Populated with details so I felt like I was there, wondering why ur straddling the robot

 

[Bruno Schulz]

Well, without any living women left to do the deed with, I'd have no choice but to give in to Robo-sexuality. Pffah, obviously. A man's god needs fer chrissakes!

 

[Sauerkraut]

After surviving an apocalyptic episode, you and one other person are alone. A brief sexual relationship takes place that is violent and results in cannibalism due to radiation poisoning. While preparing to dismember the body, you accidentally cut off both of your arms.
A robot butler stands by to do your bidding. He has endless building materials and must construct a means for you to wipe your ass. While he is prepared to satisfy your sexual needs, his programming doesn’t allow him to wipe it for you. Unless it’s sexually related.

My idea was a sawhorse type contraption with a conveyor belt of toilet paper, that has pedals underneath that you power.

So which Down Syndrome AI did you use to generate this word salad?

 

[eksy]

Bidet operated by pedal, so you can clean your ass while still sitting on a toilet.

Budget version/water saving version: a stick firmly attached to something and covered with cloth/tp/leaves, so you can wipe yourself moving your butt (try not to engage in butt play). Your robot will change used layer of cloth/whatever.

 

[badangel7]

GAWD...
do you guys shit thru clenched arse cheeks?
how much shit do you get on yourself when you go?
wiping my ass is a total formality... because i don't splatter myself in the first place
it's a combo of good diet, healthy body, and careful execution

good grief, potty training is the first thing a human learns... 🤣🤣🤣🤣

 

[prof199]

a foot pedal activated belt sander with toilet paper instead of 80grit

 

[ImAlwaysBaked]

I have the unique superpower to take ghost shits every time I go to the bathroom. So I essentially wouldn't need anything to wipe.