My Demise ( not that you care. )

[AsTRaLNaUT🌈⃤╱]

So long story short, because I just don't have the energy right no w. I'm reaching a point in my life where I really have to make a decision If I want to go on like this and it's not a phase of bullshit. I've struggled for my entire life and I'm older now of building a good life and getting taken out by severe depression and intense waves of relapse. Like real hardcore benders that take you to crash out. I can't do this anymore man. I can't recover this time and I don't want to period. If I go this time it's gonna be to the death of me I'll make sure of it. I don't even care about taking care of myself or eating when I'm on them and I get good jobs man but it's always something and I'm back to nothing and having to build back it gets draining and is this who I really am? I got to go to work this morning in a couple hours I've been out Friday, all weekend and Monday and I just didn't even call in on Friday. I haven't ate or showered or changed my clothes and did anything but spend all my time and money numbing myself, real hardcore depression. And I justs started another bende I have to decide what I'm gonna do for real I can't and won't build it back this time.

 

[Eat Shit And Die]

I seen a lot of these kind of posts on here over the years, I'm never quite sure why. If I was feeling how you do one of the very last place I'd post about and expect helpful advice or sympathy with my plight would be a gore site, but maybe I'm the odd one out as lots of people choose to do so.

Good luck with all that though.

 

[LUNATIC666]

sorry you feel like this, life is shit at times, and the battle with metal health is the worst thing you can have, in my own personal opinion..
had it all my life, and nearly everyday is a struggle, but i get there.
i don`t know your age, but if you are young enough to change your life do it... don`t get stuck in a rut, where nothing ever changes.

if i was younger, i would be off visiting Thailand or Vietnam, or at least go somewhere else, and see something different and interesting..

 

[Jizdrop1]

Thanks for sharing and being honest. I don't suffer from it thank the lord but know someone that does. It must be utter shit for you.

 

[nimblefingers]

 

[Smokinrav]

Could I be in your will? Leave me a little cheddar before you pussy out. Be sure to record it for our enjoyment! Kthanks!

 

[Dr Deacon]

Could I be in your will? Leave me a little cheddar before you pussy out. Be sure to record it for our enjoyment! Kthanks!

Typical nigger response. You don't need to be the beneficiary of someone's will, you black fucks just steal whatever you want.

 

[AdaBull]

I seen a lot of these kind of posts on here over the years, I'm never quite sure why. If I was feeling how you do one of the very last place I'd post about and expect helpful advice or sympathy with my plight would be a gore site, but maybe I'm the odd one out as lots of people choose to do so.

Good luck with all that though.

Sometimes it seems you get good advice on here, just look between the kill yourself and film it comments 🤣

 

[AdaBull]

So long story short, because I just don't have the energy right no w. I'm reaching a point in my life where I really have to make a decision If I want to go on like this and it's not a phase of bullshit. I've struggled for my entire life and I'm older now of building a good life and getting taken out by severe depression and intense waves of relapse. Like real hardcore benders that take you to crash out. I can't do this anymore man. I can't recover this time and I don't want to period. If I go this time it's gonna be to the death of me I'll make sure of it. I don't even care about taking care of myself or eating when I'm on them and I get good jobs man but it's always something and I'm back to nothing and having to build back it gets draining and is this who I really am? I got to go to work this morning in a couple hours I've been out Friday, all weekend and Monday and I just didn't even call in on Friday. I haven't ate or showered or changed my clothes and did anything but spend all my time and money numbing myself, real hardcore depression. And I justs started another bende I have to decide what I'm gonna do for real I can't and won't build it back this time.

Try out new things, seems like previous method don't work. You can have a good job and social life and still be unhappy. The question is what makes you happy, what do you need, what do you really want to be and do. The rest comes then automatically.

 

[Vwj]

Sometimes it seems you get good advice on here, just look between the kill yourself and film it comments 🤣

Kill yourself
Post boobs
Film it

There you go, good advice between comments
Oh and by the way, I don’t care

 

[mrln]

try going to work to get your mind off whatever it is. maybe move to a new environment. start fresh. but you gotta want it,for it to work. not just say you want it. but actually mean it. actions speak louder than words. anyone can say whatever they want to hear. but they have to put in the work for it. so you need to put the same amount of energy into getting better,that your using to be getting fucked up the way you are. its the only way its gunna work.
good luck man.

 

[AdaBull]

Kill yourself
Post boobs
Film it

There you go, good advice between comments
Oh and by the way, I don’t care

In that order?

 

[AsTRaLNaUT🌈⃤╱]

I'm about to just pack my stuff drink and listen to hardcore rock and drink

I seen a lot of these kind of posts on here over the years, I'm never quite sure why. If I was feeling how you do one of the very last place I'd post about and expect helpful advice or sympathy with my plight would be a gore site, but maybe I'm the odd one out as lots of people choose to do so.

Good luck with all that though.

I know lol I think the same thing like why am I even posting on here about this I mean I don't really talk to a lot of people in life I'm a loner and I took a liking to this forum and the community is great and it's just a part of it. Trust me I know what it's all hitting for, I expect what is coming it's appreciated the nice replies but it's all apart of it brother. Your flashy name catches my attention all the time when I see you post dam I need to get that

 

[AsTRaLNaUT🌈⃤╱]

sorry you feel like this, life is shit at times, and the battle with metal health is the worst thing you can have, in my own personal opinion..
had it all my life, and nearly everyday is a struggle, but i get there.
i don`t know your age, but if you are young enough to change your life do it... don`t get stuck in a rut, where nothing ever changes.

if i was younger, i would be off visiting Thailand or Vietnam, or at least go somewhere else, and see something different and interesting..

Thank you so much bro means a lot to me this morning..

 

[that613guy]

Try out new things, seems like previous method don't work. You can have a good job and social life and still be unhappy. The question is what makes you happy, what do you need, what do you really want to be and do. The rest comes then automatically.

This. If you are content with life being shit, then stop trying to make more of it. If you don't enjoy your life, and want happiness and shit, try and find resources to help you get there.

 

[dwdays]

I’m more concerned about the little nicks from shaving my taint.

 

[Gevurah]

So long story short, because I just don't have the energy right no w. I'm reaching a point in my life where I really have to make a decision If I want to go on like this and it's not a phase of bullshit. I've struggled for my entire life and I'm older now of building a good life and getting taken out by severe depression and intense waves of relapse. Like real hardcore benders that take you to crash out. I can't do this anymore man. I can't recover this time and I don't want to period. If I go this time it's gonna be to the death of me I'll make sure of it. I don't even care about taking care of myself or eating when I'm on them and I get good jobs man but it's always something and I'm back to nothing and having to build back it gets draining and is this who I really am? I got to go to work this morning in a couple hours I've been out Friday, all weekend and Monday and I just didn't even call in on Friday. I haven't ate or showered or changed my clothes and did anything but spend all my time and money numbing myself, real hardcore depression. And I justs started another bende I have to decide what I'm gonna do for real I can't and won't build it back this time.

I'm glad you're still here, I mean that. And I hear you, what you're carrying is absolutely exhausting.

Please, just reach out to one of them crisis lines, wherever you are. You don't even need the energy to explain everything. Just say, 'I'm not doing okay.' And it's alright to not be okay. Sometimes life's just fuckin' shite.

But that doesn't mean you go through it on your own. Forget building everything back tonight. Just get some water down you, have a wash, or text one person, even a helpline. You don't fix your whole life in one go. You just do one small thing. Then another. You're still here for a reason, even if you can't see it right now.

Don't give up before the fight's even over. One step, lad. Just one.

 

[Richard 1986]

1) If you have friends , it can be useful .
2) If you have a dog , it can help you .
3) If you have money , you can treat your depression by going to specialized doctors .
I only have 2) but i dream to having one day 3 ) ...

 

[AsTRaLNaUT🌈⃤╱]

I really see how I perceive life and deal with it everyday and how depression takes me out to drugs and alcohol then not caring about taking care of myself.

Could I be in your will? Leave me a little cheddar before you pussy out. Be sure to record it for our enjoyment! Kthanks!

I be watching the hate you get being black on here and constantly getting flamed for it and taking it in stride. I respect that man. I have watched black youth get sucked into gang life because that's all that is outside for them in my city I grew up in and if you weren't in you were clowned and you couldn't be that.. then I watched the same dudes growing up going hard in that life because that's how they survived getting money catching the seeing the same dudes in prison on sales charges and guns and murder and even in prison still going hard as fuck in that life real genuine gangsters

 

[Solomon Kane]

I've been reading up on how psychedelics are helping military personnel deal with trauma, ptsd, depression related issues with very positive results. Another option to look at.
Good luck 👍