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animals Petting A Bear Cub
- Thread starter Monkman777
- Start date
Bear: You that bitch what broke my son's chair?
Dude: uh no
Bear: you smell like the person
Dude💩💩
Dude: uh no
Bear: you smell like the person
Dude💩💩
DokraOwl
Hooter
Baldie Locks and the 3 Bears
By: Dokra Owl
One day Baldie Locks was walking through the Siberian tundra whistling the Soviet Anthem when suddenly he felt a rumbling in his tummy.
"Cyka blyat!" Shouted Baldie, "I'm hungrier than a Ukranian peasant during the Holodomor!"
Luckily as Baldie made his way up a mud covered hill he discovered a dilapidated old 3 floor khrushchevka built to house gulag workers 50 years prior.
"Great Stalin's ghost!" Shouted Baldie, "I smell something cooking inside that old Soviet apartment!"
And so Baldie followed his nose until he found the apartment in which the smell originated.
On the table were three bowls of borscht.
"Oh this borscht is too cold!" Shouted Baldie after testing it with his finger.
"But this other borscht is too hot!"
In frustration Baldie upended the table in a fit of rage knocking all the bowls of borscht onto the floor. As he raged and further ransack the home he discovered a bottle of vodka stashed in the cupboard.
He took a drink.
"Ah, now this is just right!"
After drinking the entire bottle of vodka with glutinous glee Baldie became very inebriated and tired.
He stumbled through the hall until he found the collective bedroom. There were three beds.
He felt the first bed.
"Oh this bed is too hard!" He shouted,
"And this one is too soft!"
Before Baldie could feel the third bed he fell over onto the floor.
"Ah, just right," he said before passing out.
Baldie woke up several hours later in a puddle of blood and vomit.
"My head," he groaned, "my whole body feels like shit!"
He then realised there were some bears gathered in the room around him.
He could hear them chewing and eating something.
"Wait? Ahhh!"
And Baldie was eaten alive by the bears. He died horribly in pain because he stole from the bears like a capitalist would, and the bears justly and nobly redistributed his body among themselves as retribution in accordance with the teachings of Marx and Lenin.
The end!
By: Dokra Owl
One day Baldie Locks was walking through the Siberian tundra whistling the Soviet Anthem when suddenly he felt a rumbling in his tummy.
"Cyka blyat!" Shouted Baldie, "I'm hungrier than a Ukranian peasant during the Holodomor!"
Luckily as Baldie made his way up a mud covered hill he discovered a dilapidated old 3 floor khrushchevka built to house gulag workers 50 years prior.
"Great Stalin's ghost!" Shouted Baldie, "I smell something cooking inside that old Soviet apartment!"
And so Baldie followed his nose until he found the apartment in which the smell originated.
On the table were three bowls of borscht.
"Oh this borscht is too cold!" Shouted Baldie after testing it with his finger.
"But this other borscht is too hot!"
In frustration Baldie upended the table in a fit of rage knocking all the bowls of borscht onto the floor. As he raged and further ransack the home he discovered a bottle of vodka stashed in the cupboard.
He took a drink.
"Ah, now this is just right!"
After drinking the entire bottle of vodka with glutinous glee Baldie became very inebriated and tired.
He stumbled through the hall until he found the collective bedroom. There were three beds.
He felt the first bed.
"Oh this bed is too hard!" He shouted,
"And this one is too soft!"
Before Baldie could feel the third bed he fell over onto the floor.
"Ah, just right," he said before passing out.
Baldie woke up several hours later in a puddle of blood and vomit.
"My head," he groaned, "my whole body feels like shit!"
He then realised there were some bears gathered in the room around him.
He could hear them chewing and eating something.
"Wait? Ahhh!"
And Baldie was eaten alive by the bears. He died horribly in pain because he stole from the bears like a capitalist would, and the bears justly and nobly redistributed his body among themselves as retribution in accordance with the teachings of Marx and Lenin.
The end!
Baby cub is Hungry. Lol
That's a big dog...
Smokey_Felton
Victor of Hades
This clip makes me want to start building a petting zoo filled with young adolescent Black Bears, Siberian Tigers, Lions, and Niggers.
Is that your stupid way of saying that the Russian Bear is going to eat the American capitalist? More likely ....the Chinese Dragon will devour the Russian Bear. And that within 10 years.
DokraOwl
Hooter
No, it's just a short story meant to be mildly funny with no meaning whatsoever. I have no idea what the voice in your head tells you, only what the one in my head tells me, and mine just says to write mildly funny stories on the off chance others might find them entertaining.
void_dweller
Retard Latina
baby cub took the chance mf was hungry (also holy shit I've never seen the power in bear cubs before)
Worth it
Man, I wish the voice in my head was as creative as yours. You would not believe the crazy shit it tells me to do.
variometer
Forum Veteran
Must’ve been raised on junk food
Bet that baby bear bite felt like a pitbull chompn on his dumb ass. Gotta be a stupid russian
You must be one of those 50 year old queens that dress up in full fag flavor and read to a room full of kids. Ima say ubecommie
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You have any Vodka left over to pour over your wound?
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