Please someone understand this!

[pappa stupid]

Were you making the beast with 2 backs whilst he faded dead away

I like yous, yous crazy

 

[Hell_Kitty666]

If it helps you to deal with trauma, nothing wrong with it.

 

[Interregnum]

If it helps you to deal with trauma, nothing wrong with it.

When i feel pressure, your avatar helps me a lot

 

[mrln]

sorry to hear the loss of your best friend/ partner through life's journey/husband.
it started a long time ago. i came to places like this because i wanted to see death and of morbid curiosity. wanted to see what i could and couldnt handle. found that i cant handle kids and animal death. not that it gives me night mares or ptsd type effect,but its something that makes me a bit sad and if its deliberate,really pisses me the fuck off. where i start thinking of ways to seek revenge. but accidents and suicides,no big deal. them things happen every day. figured maybe i could sorta prepare myself for death (boy was i neieve then) and realized you cant really. the only way is if you get a life ins policy,or cemetery plot and tombstone picked out. or even an urn ready. thats the only preperation. because it can happen in a blink f an eye,as you saw with your husband. theres no warning. Unless its suicide. but its unexpected mostly. then its like i got immune to it,in a sense. now im here because ive made a bunch of e-friends. were kinda like a gore family. dont get me wrong. i still like to see the pics of the dead. even the living as well (especially the nude ones). which these places can make a person appreciate life more than they have or do now. also somethimes when ive had a bad day,i look at these dead people and it cheers me up. because theyre not around to have any more "days",and i still am. and so far today is a good day!

 

[merrywidow]

Hello, why did you choose that username?...

Even though my husband had a very lengthy illness, I guess I just am feeling a bit bitter, caring for him for over a year, then him up and leaving me (know that's not the way it was). Just feeling bitter and cynical which has never been in my nature.

 

[merrywidow]

She’s happy he’s dead ?

Not at all, just feeling really bitter and cynical these days.

 

[M.O.DENGLER]

Even though my husband had a very lengthy illness, I guess I just am feeling a bit bitter, caring for him for over a year, then him up and leaving me (know that's not the way it was). Just feeling bitter and cynical which has never been in my nature.

I advise you to go out, get fucking wankered. Come back and show tit's.

 

[merrywidow]

First of all, im sorry for your loss.

We all find different ways to cope with something that turns the world as we knew it inside out. I think you want to find something that can be more shocking to you than what unfortunately happened to your life that offsets the trauma. I think that's why you find yourself more and more wanting to push your gore tolerance. Mental trauma is not something to be overlooked. And your reaction is completely normal. No one can tell you you're in the wrong, this is your defense mechanism. But i have to ask you, are you in or have you thought about going into therapy? Sorry for going all Dr. Phil here, i'm probably the last person on Earth to give insightful opinions.

Your post has come the closest to understanding how I feel than anything else I've heard, pretty much on spot. Looking into counseling.

 

[merrywidow]

Did you take any pics of him after he died??

masking for a friend

Too busy being instructed how to do CPR by 911 over the phone, ha ha!

 

[merrywidow]

OP should be looking on the bright side, NEW DICK!!

start hitting that treadmill sweetheart. It’s cougar time.

Perhaps, always been highly sexed.

 

[merrywidow]

Were you making the beast with 2 backs whilst he faded dead away

Would have been better than cleaning up his shitty bed pad.

 

[merrywidow]

sorry to hear the loss of your best friend/ partner through life's journey/husband.
it started a long time ago. i came to places like this because i wanted to see death and of morbid curiosity. wanted to see what i could and couldnt handle. found that i cant handle kids and animal death. not that it gives me night mares or ptsd type effect,but its something that makes me a bit sad and if its deliberate,really pisses me the fuck off. where i start thinking of ways to seek revenge. but accidents and suicides,no big deal. them things happen every day. figured maybe i could sorta prepare myself for death (boy was i neieve then) and realized you cant really. the only way is if you get a life ins policy,or cemetery plot and tombstone picked out. or even an urn ready. thats the only preperation. because it can happen in a blink f an eye,as you saw with your husband. theres no warning. Unless its suicide. but its unexpected mostly. then its like i got immune to it,in a sense. now im here because ive made a bunch of e-friends. were kinda like a gore family. dont get me wrong. i still like to see the pics of the dead. even the living as well (especially the nude ones). which these places can make a person appreciate life more than they have or do now. also somethimes when ive had a bad day,i look at these dead people and it cheers me up. because theyre not around to have any more "days",and i still am. and so far today is a good day!

Thank you! Quite a while back, I ended up on Best Gore. Never even knew sites like this existed, until that, I believe 14yo girl, hung herself and live streamed it. Made the Yahoo news feed, and news story saying they were going around asking all the sites to take the video down. So of course, I go searching. Found a blogger who wanted to dissect the pre-hanging psychology, then cut the video off, but bestgore.com constantly scrolling. So that's how I made the discovery. I've always had a morbid curiosity. In my youth, wanted to be a forensic pathologist, but got unrailed somehow. Thought that would be rewarding to solve crimes and give peace to families. OH, totally agree with the children and animal violence. They are powerless against such. Kinda funny, I usually go to the suicide pics first. I guess I just find it so dismaying that so many people cannot see any other way out, it's just so drastic, to say the fucking least. I would agree with appreciating life, nothing will do that more than being exposed to death. I guess I would agree about someone not having "any more days" if they were living in misery.

 

[merrywidow]

I advise you to go out, get fucking wankered. Come back and show tit's.

Perhaps will, never know.

 

[mrln]

Thank you! I've always had a morbid curiosity. In my youth, wanted to be a forensic pathologist

your welcome...
yes when i was younger,i wanted to be coroner/medical examiner. same as you,wanted to help families find out how their loved one died. i found it fascinating how the innerds of thr body looked and is positioned. id spend time at the library going through books on things.

 

[Brainfart]

The first gore I saw was a cartel vid where they are filleting a dude and cutting bits out of his stomach till you could see lungs and heart exposed. Fucked me up for a couple of days. Saw it by accident on a Facebook page at my mates house(never had facebook myself). Since then, It has been smooth sailing watching gore vids. Have come across gore in real life with a few car accidents. Had a guy fall down in front of me and hit his head on the concrete and died. Went blue instantly. Had to re-sucitate him. Lucky he came back. Have seen death a few times with family members dying... I was never bothered too much...

 

[snatch]

Why did he ha shitty bed pans then a heart attack? Sounds like porky fookin pies. Lie better. Makes it more interesting for all of us

 

[HG]

Even though my husband had a very lengthy illness, I guess I just am feeling a bit bitter, caring for him for over a year, then him up and leaving me (know that's not the way it was). Just feeling bitter and cynical which has never been in my nature.

Fair enough, "Relieved Widow" hasn't got the same twang...

 

[King-Rory]

I've been an occasional lurker here, because we all have a certain degree of morbid curiosity. I have been prone to that. But things have changed. I lost my husband of 17 years about a month ago. Guess was sorta peaceful., heart attack, but happened right in front of me, heard his last few gurgily breaths. I have now found myself drawn here, and I find myself really pushing the boundaries of what I can tolerate watching. It just feels to me like I'm challenging death, like give me what ya got, I can take it, like throat punching a serious enemy. I know that I will never win against death. I've brought this up to a few people very close in my life, and they all are bewildered and confused by it, or even recoil, asking me to explain it, but I just can't. I really can't understand it fully myself. I feel like they judge me, like "what the hell", and one even asked me that. I know there has to be someone out there that understands. If you do, then please respond. This is making me second guess my instincts, which I normally never do.

I think you are just going through the natural bereavement process and your head just doesn't know which way is up at the moment. Give it time, a month is no where near long enough for things to fit back into place.

 

[merrywidow]

Why did he ha shitty bed pans then a heart attack? Sounds like porky fookin pies. Lie better. Makes it more interesting for all of us

I was changing a bed pad when I heard his last gurgles and saw his eyes roll back. Sorry that's not interesting enough for you.

 

[snatch]

I was changing a bed pad when I heard his last gurgles and saw his eyes roll back. Sorry that's not interesting enough for you.

Quite