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Please someone understand this!

my condolences.

i think we all deal with death differently, my old man has cancer and isn't doing too well, not sure how much time he has left but i try to put his mind at ease, letting him know that he shouldn't be scared of death and that compared to others he lived a good life.

one thing we can all agree on is that death waits for no one. gotta love the circle of life.

p.s. carlin said it best "when we're born we wear diapers and say "goo goo ga ga". when we're old we also wear diapers and say "goo goo ga ga".
 
I've been an occasional lurker here, because we all have a certain degree of morbid curiosity. I have been prone to that. But things have changed. I lost my husband of 17 years about a month ago. Guess was sorta peaceful., heart attack, but happened right in front of me, heard his last few gurgily breaths. I have now found myself drawn here, and I find myself really pushing the boundaries of what I can tolerate watching. It just feels to me like I'm challenging death, like give me what ya got, I can take it, like throat punching a serious enemy. I know that I will never win against death. I've brought this up to a few people very close in my life, and they all are bewildered and confused by it, or even recoil, asking me to explain it, but I just can't. I really can't understand it fully myself. I feel like they judge me, like "what the hell", and one even asked me that. I know there has to be someone out there that understands. If you do, then please respond. This is making me second guess my instincts, which I normally never do.
You’re one of the more conscientious ones, like myself. You know one day that you and I will be on the receiving end of death and that bother you, just like me. We don’t want to die we want to be immortal, we come here challenging ourselves and preparing our selves for whichever way we will possibly go out anencefalia are trying to make ourselves fearless, truth is it’s human nature to be afraid of death, it is our one true enemy and when I see him in hell im gonna give him a hell of a fight for what he did to me and my family.
 
I've got to an age and point in my life where, frankly, I don't give a fuck what people think of me, what I say or what I do. Who the fuck are they anyway? MW, you do whatever gets YOU through life and as long as your not hurting others, fuck em.
 
It is a coping mechanism. It helps you process. The reality of death and brutality in the world is real. No sugar coated bs here and that is comforting. This is how you find peace in death and trauma, by facing it head on.
 
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