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Funny Tips please...this is the rule

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I can never get my head around the 'tip' concept.

If I go to a resturant I agree to pay a price for a meal. No more, no less.

If the service was wonderful and the waitress had a big hot ass and 'accidently brushed me with it numerous times' then I may leave some extra cash there. Otherwise I'm obligated for nothing.
I got served the shittiest steak ever in Vegas in the 80s, it was tough as fuck and full of gristle. Back then - they wanted 30 USD for it, rip-off but I had no choice but to pay. And then at the table the waiter wanted a fucking tip. I gestured to him to lean over so I could whisper in his ear: I told him he could suck my cock in the mens room. True story.
 
Busted window, busted skull, busted teeth, sliced tires. All over a tip? Let the fuckers out, tell them “tink yu com agin” and go about your day. Fuck a tip- there’s plenty of other jobs out there that don’t require you to have tips to make a damn living.
 
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