I tickled my own feet...I fucking hate myself for doing that shit too.....
-
Adults Only Website 18+
If you are under 18 you are not permitted to submit personal information to us or use this website. If discovered you will be banned.
We will ban and report anyone posting illegal content.
We will ban any forum user who breaks our terms.
Freedom of speech should be wide open as long as it doesn't incite violence.
We have a 15 year old thriving community here with 400,000+ members and hundreds of people online at any given moment, we encourage you to join!, there are 1000's of topics to discuss. Please be aware before registering and read our terms of service and privacy policy.
By dismissing this notice and proceeding, you agree to the above.
What made you smile/happy today ?
- Thread starter wino
- Start date
last day of work today
i LOVE THE SHIT BUT IT MAKES MY FOREARMS AND THIGHS ITCHY AS A MOTHER FUCKER!!!!!
Pretty_Kitty
Not Evil, Just Curious
I was at the WalMart buying shit for people I haven't seen in years, and as I walked out some lesbian feminist (no really, it was one of those irritating bell people trying to get my money, it was on her sign and everything) was like "HAPPY HANUKKAHHHarfshshhrsfSUPPORTME" at some old dude and he told her to fuck off. I laughed heartily and heavily, oh the holiday spirit of this town. She ran inside crying and called me "a disparagement to the female race" wtf. Yep, I lol'd.
Pretty_Kitty
Not Evil, Just Curious
driving on the post road earlier,and usually its got traffic flow for this time of morn,even on a sat. anyway,its like a fucking ghost town! no cars,no nutin! awsome......
leg pressed 855 lbs. finally broke the 800 mark....
Pretty_Kitty
Not Evil, Just Curious
Fucking feminists. It's always good when they cry (or die).
DOES HE HAVE A VOCABULARY OR WHAT....?
For the few of you who have missed him, R. Lee Ermey is the host of The History Channel's " Mail Call " and played the Drill Instructor in the movie, " Full Metal Jacket. " He recently played the totally unsympathetic psychiatrist in a GIECO commercial. He is a retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant and a very plain speaker, as you will soon read. So, for your entertainment, here is Retired Marine Gunnery Sergeant R. Lee Ermey at his first press conference. The main topic of discussion is the Marine in Iraq who shot an Iraqi insurgent to death.
ANYWAY, THE STORY GOES:
We pick up as a reporter asks about " how this potential war crime will affect our image in the world ":
Ermey: "WHAT KIND OF A PANSY-ASSED QUESTION IS THAT?"
Reporter 1: "Well, sir I think...."
Ermey: "THINK, FANCY BOY ??! GET THIS THROUGH THAT SEPTIC TANK ON TOP OF YOUR SHOULDERS, MORON : I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?? THAT MARINE SHOT AN ENEMY COMBATANT, SHITHEAD. SO GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND DEAL WITH IT BEFORE I MAKE YOU MY OWN PERSONAL PIN CUSHION!!!
NEXT QUESTION: YOU IN THE BLUE SUIT."
Reporter 2: Don't you think that the world's opinion of our operations is important ?
Ermey: "OH SURE! YOU DON'T KNOW THE TIMES I HAVE CRIED MYSELF TO SLEEP WORRYING ABOUT WHAT SOME GODDAMNED FRENCH PANSY THINKS! OH THE DAYS I HAVE HAD TO WEEP, BECAUSE SOME SHIT EATING TERRORIST SCUMBAG MIGHT BE MAD AT US, BECAUSE WE WENT INTO WHATEVER GOD FORSAKEN HOLE IN THE SHIT THAT HE LIVES IN AND KILLED HIM. WHAT THE HELL KIND OF DUMBASS QUESTION IS THAT YOU PETER-PUFFING JACKASS? WE ARE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA , AND WHEN YOU ATTACK US, WE ARE GOING TO COME TO YOUR HOUSE AND BLOW YOUR STINKING CAMEL-LICKING CARCASS INTO PIECES SO SMALL WE WILL BE ABL E TO BURY YOUR SORRY ASS IN A THIMBLE! YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE THINKING. YOU ARE PROBABLY AFRAID, THINK ING THAT I HAVE SUCH AN "EXTREME" ATTITUDE AND THAT I NEED TO BE MORE "SENSITIVE" TO OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING YOU POLE-SMOKING PANSY! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU OR ANYBODY ELSE THINKS! THIS IS A DAMN WAR, AND IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE THAT, THEN YOU SHOULD GO HOME AND SUCK ON MAMMA'S TIT! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU RUNT? NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I GO CRAZY AND KICK THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF YOU!!
NEXT QUESTION: YOU WITH THE UGLY-ASSED TIE, LOOK AT THAT THING! IT IS HIDEOUS!"
Reporter 3: "Aren't you going against the freedom of the press by.."
Ermey: "FREEDOM? WHAT IN BLUE HELL DO YOU KNOW ABOUT FREEDOM? I HAVE SWEATED MY ASS OFF IN JUNGLES, WHILE BEING SHOT AT FOR THIS NATION! WHAT IN THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE YOU LITTLE SHIT-SUCKING WEASEL? WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PUT YOUR ASS ON THE LINE FOR ANYTHING? AND YET YOU HAVE THE UNMITIGATED TEMERITY TO SHOW UP HERE AND MONDAY-MORNING QUARTERBACK THE ACTIONS OF A BRAVE MARINE, WHO WAS DEFENDING HIMSELF AND HIS UNIT FROM AN ATTACK BY SOME MURDEROUS AL-QUEDA SYMPATHIZER!! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I AM CONCERNED ABOUT, NUMB-NUTS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT A BUNCH OF GRABASSTIC, ORGANIZED MORONS WITH CAMERAS AND MICROPHONES DOING THEIR BEST TO PORTRAY OUR BRAVE MEN AND WOMEN AS WAR CRIMINALS! I AM CONCERNED ABOUT CHICKEN-SHIT PANSIES THAT WANT US TO NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORISTS AND WHINE ABOUT THEIR PISS-ANT "FREEDOMS"!!
NEXT QUESTION.
Reporter 3: "I...I.."
Ermey: "DID YOU HAVE A BIG BOWL OF STUPID FOR BREAKFAST THIS MORNING, NUMB NUTS? I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANOTHER WORD OUT OF THAT COMMIE CRY HOLE IN THAT SHIT-PILE YOU CALL A HEAD! AND THAT GOES TRIPLE FOR THE REST OF YOU PANSY-ASSED MORONS! NOW GET THE HELL OUT OF MY PRESS ROOM BEFORE I SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS THAT YOU CHOKE TO DEATH ON MY SHOELACES!!!!"
Marine DI's have a language all their own.
God bless them all.
RIGHT ON
I missed 2 out of 3 ducks
early morning nookie
Da big after work reefer i jus blessed.
Just heard one of the tracks from an upcoming Akashah Split. It's fucking sick.
DirtBag
wont you be my neighbor?
An ex coworker was arrested and jailed for a small time then he was released. Soon after he had to return to jail because THEY LET HIM OUT EARLY! BAHAHA!
(I feel the need to mention this guy was a supreme waste of flesh and oxygen. Nor was he worth his own weight in shit.)
(I feel the need to mention this guy was a supreme waste of flesh and oxygen. Nor was he worth his own weight in shit.)
