Bill Murray
Ghostbuster, weatherman, author, badger, lunatic.
When fucking hookers, particularly when cruising the street, like most punters I made a lot of bad choices and got myself into a few tight scrapes but for this thread I’m looking to hear about the stupid things you’ve done or lengths you went to just to dip your wick in some slag.
For me two come to mind both from the days of the telephone hookup services like larvalife.
First was a slightly tubby chick who said she was 19 (I think closer to 17, so legal just creepy given I was 23 or 24) but said she loved sex and in particular getting dogged in the keister. Over a couple weeks of getting the run around of reasons why she couldn’t meet that evening I probably spent $50 on the phone chat, another $50 on toys for her and when we finally did meet another $80 on dinner (she wanted to get fed before she got fucked...I think I expensed it) and another $100 on a dodgy motel room. Sex was boring, her cunt was hairy & stunk and I got poo on my balls. The ROI analysis of time and money spent made whores look good.
Second was a German chick working at a hotel in Banff (a mountain resort town about an hour’s drive for me in clear driving conditions) who was actually very cute and I still have no idea why she had to use a chat service to get laid and not just grab one of the hundreds of obnoxious Aussie dudes working there. But nonetheless we made a connection over the phone, she liked the pic I hotmail’d her and I liked the one she yahoo’d me. What made it very stupid was I thought it was a good idea to make the drive at 11pm in the middle of a wicked blizzard. That normally easy drive took over three hours and was ass puckering scary, but I wanted to fuck so kept on going. Picked her up and after barely a hello she’s in my pants an sucking my dick as I drove to an empty campground. Parked, she kept on sucking and like a trooper swallowed my first load. Cuddled in the back seat for a while, made out, exchanged oral treats and then fucked for a couple of rounds with the first shot on goal being stopped by a condom and the second one hitting the mark since we went bare (that I’ve never caught anything like HIV or Hep still amazes me). Post sex she had no interest in any cuddling or convo, just wanted to be driven back to town. I obliged and then tried to decide what to do with myself. It was snowing harder than earlier and I was getting tired so thought about getting a room but said fuck it and started for home. Took over four hours and by the time I made it home was spent, called in sick and slept most of the day.
For me two come to mind both from the days of the telephone hookup services like larvalife.
First was a slightly tubby chick who said she was 19 (I think closer to 17, so legal just creepy given I was 23 or 24) but said she loved sex and in particular getting dogged in the keister. Over a couple weeks of getting the run around of reasons why she couldn’t meet that evening I probably spent $50 on the phone chat, another $50 on toys for her and when we finally did meet another $80 on dinner (she wanted to get fed before she got fucked...I think I expensed it) and another $100 on a dodgy motel room. Sex was boring, her cunt was hairy & stunk and I got poo on my balls. The ROI analysis of time and money spent made whores look good.
Second was a German chick working at a hotel in Banff (a mountain resort town about an hour’s drive for me in clear driving conditions) who was actually very cute and I still have no idea why she had to use a chat service to get laid and not just grab one of the hundreds of obnoxious Aussie dudes working there. But nonetheless we made a connection over the phone, she liked the pic I hotmail’d her and I liked the one she yahoo’d me. What made it very stupid was I thought it was a good idea to make the drive at 11pm in the middle of a wicked blizzard. That normally easy drive took over three hours and was ass puckering scary, but I wanted to fuck so kept on going. Picked her up and after barely a hello she’s in my pants an sucking my dick as I drove to an empty campground. Parked, she kept on sucking and like a trooper swallowed my first load. Cuddled in the back seat for a while, made out, exchanged oral treats and then fucked for a couple of rounds with the first shot on goal being stopped by a condom and the second one hitting the mark since we went bare (that I’ve never caught anything like HIV or Hep still amazes me). Post sex she had no interest in any cuddling or convo, just wanted to be driven back to town. I obliged and then tried to decide what to do with myself. It was snowing harder than earlier and I was getting tired so thought about getting a room but said fuck it and started for home. Took over four hours and by the time I made it home was spent, called in sick and slept most of the day.
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