You HAVE to grieve the right way or you will progressively get worse and worse, either deep depression or severe addiction or worse will over take you. If you stuff trauma down and dont deal with it properly your mind and body have to purge it somehow and it will come out in a terrible way. I would ask yourself why you are compelled to visit sites this this, is it to try and come to terms with it, or youre trying to de sensitize yourself.Another post just reminded me of this. Unfortunately I had to see my brother die in horrible way and I want to know if anyone else has had to deal with this.
In July of 2000, my brother and I (I was 16, he was 18) got jumped by a gang from the shitty part of town. Long story short, my brother ended up getting dragged under a car for about 20-30 yards. I remember as the car ran him over he was going to come out the front missing him. No luck. His shirt must have caught on something under the car and he got dragged. I remember seeing him under the car with blood steaming down his face. He was making unnatural sounds. I grabbed his hand and told him I will see him in the hospital. I said “Ben, You probably just have a broken leg or something.” I tried lifting up the car myself getting nowhere. I really believed he was going to be ok. Seeing him under the car was the worst thing ever in my life. I remember a female officer told me he was not breathing. In my stupor I said,”ok, but you can take him to the hospital and revive him, right? After about 5 times telling me he was not breathing, she finally said something like, “he’s dead”. Worst day of my life ever. That was 20 years ago and I still think about my brother, Ben, every day.
sorry I keep editing, but has anyone witnessed gore of a loved one in front of them and how did you deal with it. We (myself included) joke about it which is fine, but pm me if you have had to see it in real life if it happened to a loved one.
please get some grief counseling, seriously . You must be in pain, I feel really bad you had to go thru something that painful. Your brother would not want you to go down the tubes. Get the counseling and find a productive way to honor his memory. 🌻😢