demona666
Fresh Meat
Turkey. Man in front of the police station demanding to meet 72 virgins. Finally they had enough of him and after firing a few warning shots but he continuing to insist to meet the virgins after a spectacular big kaboom, they shoot him so he will be down.
As he lays there wounded, suddenly a new splendid idea enters his mind and he decides to make actually a pretty good impression of the early 80's Steve Martin Saturday Nights song. In both him singing the melody gig and in making the same hand move. Perhaps a little early on he tried to become a comedian so to impress some Burka girls. But then found out that the only chance he will ever have with a woman if:
Option 1. He needs to buy her family a camel as a marriage buy out gift. A most totally hopeless idea. Since he had to work an entire month as a singing banana in the big stuffy banana costume at different crosswalks all over town. And earning only enough so just to buy him his single pair of sandals. Stupid people just could not comprehend a true talent. Hence only those couple of coins thrown his way (About three dozens rocks also thrown at him so to keep him away we do not count here, since they would have no any real monetary exchange value. He tried when he was bringing each new to bank. Never worked)... So the Burka girl is unattainable.
Option 2. He can create a really big kaboom, while screaming "Hula at the bar" (Or something along those lines. Just as long as one shouts it really, really loud, while making really crazy twisted face. Preferably with spit and foam on the mouth). And then he shall receive 72 virgins.
Just a night before a toothless man with a really long beard and wearing not entirely all camel dung soiled very long night shirt, had revealed it all to him while giving a sermon and angrily screaming words very similar to those. And such a respectful looking man just could not lie.
And so the most obvious choice was made. No more stuffy banana suits while dancing in hot sun. No more rocks thrown at him and then bank employees laughing each time when he brings them in. Tomorrow it all changes. Tomorrow he shall receive his 72 virgins. "Hula at the bar".
As he lays there wounded, suddenly a new splendid idea enters his mind and he decides to make actually a pretty good impression of the early 80's Steve Martin Saturday Nights song. In both him singing the melody gig and in making the same hand move. Perhaps a little early on he tried to become a comedian so to impress some Burka girls. But then found out that the only chance he will ever have with a woman if:
Option 1. He needs to buy her family a camel as a marriage buy out gift. A most totally hopeless idea. Since he had to work an entire month as a singing banana in the big stuffy banana costume at different crosswalks all over town. And earning only enough so just to buy him his single pair of sandals. Stupid people just could not comprehend a true talent. Hence only those couple of coins thrown his way (About three dozens rocks also thrown at him so to keep him away we do not count here, since they would have no any real monetary exchange value. He tried when he was bringing each new to bank. Never worked)... So the Burka girl is unattainable.
Option 2. He can create a really big kaboom, while screaming "Hula at the bar" (Or something along those lines. Just as long as one shouts it really, really loud, while making really crazy twisted face. Preferably with spit and foam on the mouth). And then he shall receive 72 virgins.
Just a night before a toothless man with a really long beard and wearing not entirely all camel dung soiled very long night shirt, had revealed it all to him while giving a sermon and angrily screaming words very similar to those. And such a respectful looking man just could not lie.
And so the most obvious choice was made. No more stuffy banana suits while dancing in hot sun. No more rocks thrown at him and then bank employees laughing each time when he brings them in. Tomorrow it all changes. Tomorrow he shall receive his 72 virgins. "Hula at the bar".
