So I'm a confirmed psychopath

[Sicksicle]

Well after a few visits and some testing from getting treatment for my PTSD I've gotten the news that my psych evaluation has me rated high on the psychopathy scale. I'm not surprised always suspected it as I had a horrific childhood with abuse,neglect,ext...with those things said I'm not a violent or sadosexual psychopath.Im more the very impulsive,highly sexualised risk taking kind who does what they want regardless of consequences and they'll get dealt with later if they happen kinda psychopath.
Considering the abuse, neglect and violence I experienced as a child I'm not that unhappy about the diagnosis.I always knew I was a bit different because as a child I had no empathy for others and literally did whatever I wanted and was jailed most of my adolescent years for fairly serious crimes. As I got older and into my 20*s I had a goal to not go to prison and I modified by behaviours accordingly but still lots of criminal behaviours and drug use but I was just stealthier I guess, I didn't work but I survived on my wits and luck. When I hit my thirties I became more responsible but struggled to hold a job down for any length of time and a year was long term employment then I found sales and I'm a born natural at that like a lot of psychopaths so I excelled and was very successful. I now work with vulnerable youth and I love my job and I love giving back to the community, today I have empathy, I have compassion and my work gives my life real and meaningful purpose, I sometimes feel like I'm trying to fix a bunch of broken me*s so they don't have the struggles I had and that someone cares and believes in them, but I'm still a psychopath which I thought would go away if I just became a better person.
I'm not what I imagined I would've become as a young man, I thought I was going to end up killing someone eventually but I guess I made the right changes, got lucky whatever happened I'm glad because I'm not institutionalized,I'm not in addiction, I'm not a monster and I am productive and respected in my profession and my community, I'm just a little fucked up around the edges.which is ok. That other me still needs to get out and rage from time to time and sometimes I honestly just need to feed it. The fact that I have developed the skills to compartmentalize
And am able to balance this has probably saved my life or the kind of life I'd be living today is pretty fucking amazing.
So What I'm a fucking psychopath, I think it's pretty fucking cool I can write this and be comfortable in my own skin.

 

[Ellzibette]

ok, congrats I guess? Here's a gold star

 

[Sicksicle]

ok, congrats I guess? Here's a gold star

View attachment 592374

Thanks I'll show it to everyone because you gave it to me. I salute you

 

[Venture _Capitalist]

who gives a flying fuck

 

[Sicksicle]

who gives a flying fuck

You took the time to read it so probably you 🤣

 

[McM]

Did you ever make a Hare test in prison?

 

[Sicksicle]

I don't think I learned it I think I developed it I'm sure I had the capacity for empathy otherwise it woulda been impossible.

Did you ever make a Hare test in prison?

No, not that that I knew of of this was my first psych test I'm aware of.

I do have a question. How did you learn empathy? I am not a psychopath, but I find empathy to be extremely situation specific. I feel tremendous empathy for animals, sometimes children, extremely rarely with adults. I figured I was just an asshole, which is fine. But I don't understand how you learn empathy any more than you can learn any other feeling. You just do or you don't.

I am not arguing with you, I am honestly curious.

n't think I learned it I think I developed it I'm sure I had the capacity for empathy otherwise it woulda been impossible.

 

[Flatus Tube]

Thanks for sharing. It helps me to help my patients when I hear first hand experiences. Most psychopaths aren’t violent or any other image the general public believe.

I do have a question. How did you learn empathy? I am not a psychopath, but I find empathy to be extremely situation specific. I feel tremendous empathy for animals, sometimes children, extremely rarely with adults. I figured I was just an asshole, which is fine. But I don't understand how you learn empathy any more than you can learn any other feeling. You just do or you don't.

I am not arguing with you, I am honestly curious.

Have you considered Autism? It sounds like you have heightened empathy, just in a different way. As you’ll know from my posts I think autism is amazing, it makes my daughter the unique little evil genius she is 😂. Your description of empathy sounds very similar to my daughter.

 

[Deleted User 201666]

I went to the Dr's ..diagnosis was I was a twat lol can't argue 😄😄

 

[Ellzibette]

Thanks for sharing. It helps me to help my patients when I hear first hand experiences. Most psychopaths aren’t violent or any other image the general public believe.



Have you considered Autism? It sounds like you have heightened empathy, just in a different way. As you’ll know from my posts I think autism is amazing, it makes my daughter the unique little evil genius she is 😂.

My daughter is on the spectrum, we are very different. Not sure if there is a genetic component but in this case its irrelevant because she is adopted. I've actually never considered autism in regards to myself.

But now you are making me think. In general, I hate people. I don't like when my food touches on a plate (like the potatoes, the veggies, and the meat all need to stay in their own discreet sections or it wigs me out, they cannot blend). I hate the feeling of wet hair on my skin, so I put it up until it dries right after a shower and I never swim. I also do this thing where something about a certain food will ruin it. The best way I can describe it is the food gets "ugly" and I can't eat it. If otherwise completely fresh chicken is slightly too slimy, if there is too much water in a meat package, if the blood is slightly oxidized on a piece of meat.....if it smells like anything other than nothing to me (there have been instances where I KNOW for certain I smell something.....but other people around me think I am nuts and its fine)....then it becomes ugly and I cannot eat it. While I am eating, if I bite a piece of fat, or gristle, or something in any way has a texture or flavor other than exactly what I expect, it also becomes ugly. I don't choose not to eat it, I physically cannot eat it, even if I try. Can't just spit it out, the entire meal is tainted and I cannot eat it. I cannot touch anything velvet. It makes me cringe. I'd rather smash my hand with a mallet than touch velvet, the aversion is truly that strong.

But, I have no problem picking up on social cues like my daughter does....she has tremendous trouble with sarcasm, contextual meanings of things.....the world to her is entirely black and white. Linear and logical. She hates any sort of change, I don't mind change at all. In fact I would say I am very easily bored and maybe crave change a little too much. A lot of my relationships (other than my kids, and my pets) are transient. They are very intense at first, then ultimately I get bored. Never had any problems at school, nothing like that.

So autistic? I don't think it really fits. Crazy? Yeah probably.

 

[Flatus Tube]

My daughter is on the spectrum, we are very different. Not sure if there is a genetic component but in this case its irrelevant because she is adopted. I've actually never considered autism in regards to myself.

But now you are making me think. In general, I hate people. I don't like when my food touches on a plate (like the potatoes, the veggies, and the meat all need to stay in their own discreet sections or it wigs me out, they cannot blend). I hate the feeling of wet hair on my skin, so I put it up until it dries right after a shower and I never swim. I also do this thing where something about a certain food will ruin it. The best way I can describe it is the food gets "ugly" and I can't eat it. If otherwise completely fresh chicken is slightly too slimy, if there is too much water in a meat package, if the blood is slightly oxidized on a piece of meat.....if it smells like anything other than nothing to me (there have been instances where I KNOW for certain I smell something.....but other people around me think I am nuts and its fine)....then it becomes ugly and I cannot eat it. While I am eating, if I bite a piece of fat, or gristle, or something in any way has a texture or flavor other than exactly why I expect, it also becomes ugly. I don't choose not to eat it, I physically cannot eat it, even if I try. Can't just spit it out, the entire meal is tainted and I cannot eat it. I cannot touch anything velvet. It makes me cringe. I'd rather smash my hand with a mallet than touch velvet, the aversion is truly that strong.

But, I have no problem picking up on social cues like my daughter does....she has tremendous trouble with sarcasm, contextual meanings of things.....the world to her is entirely black and white. Linear and logical. She hates any sort of change, I don't mind change at all. In fact I would say I am very easily bored and maybe crave change a little too much. A lot of my relationships (other than my kids, and my pets) are transient. They are very intense at first, then ultimately I get bored. Never had any problems at school, nothing like that.

So autistic? I don't think it really fits. Crazy? Yeah probably.

You sound so much like my wife, who like me has ADHD. Diagnosis is not that important, it just sometimes helps with understanding ourselves.

Interestingly women with ADHD can have intense hypersensitivities that are similar to autism. My wife describes almost identical issues with smell and foods 😂. She also gets agitated with routine changes but fully understands social cues and sarcasm etc.

I’m definitely crazy, in a logical way, which I see as a good thing now. Thanks for your amazing share too!

 

[HG]

You are a cool dude @Flatus Tube - ive always liked you...

 

[kaijucore]

I’m glad things have worked out for you and that you’re in such a positive place in spite of odds being weighed against you, well done man

 

[Flatus Tube]

You are a cool dude @Flatus Tube - ive always liked you...

Thank you matey!!! Back at you.

 

[LifeIStough]

Well your in the right place.

 

[HG]

Well your in the right place.

If you want to misspell topic headers and wind the rest of us up...

Edit - good fix...

 

[Bill Murray]

 

[Götterdämmerung]

TLDR, but let me guess, you posted low on the empathy scale. Or prefer animals over humans?

 

[mrln]

how would you feel if you killed someone now? more pissed about going to jail or fucked up because you killed someone.

 

[brainsmashrr]

TLDR but the title seems retarded and unnecessary so nobody cares that much