accident Darwin award winner right here

[Lord Gutsy]

News Directory 3

newsdirectory3.com

www.newsdirectory3.com

 

[Stormy Llewellyn]

What a sad freak accident.... imagine how the parents must feel...

 

[K.I.T.T.]

Damn, now they gotta find a new goaltender.

 

[Harumph]

View attachment 749348

News Directory 3

newsdirectory3.com

www.newsdirectory3.com

That's one of my favorites, a crushed trachea leading to death by asphyxiation in as little as six minutes unless an emergency tracheotomy is performed. I learned that from watching M*A*S*H.

 

[K.I.T.T.]

That's one of my favorites, a crushed trachea leading to death by asphyxiation in as little as six minutes unless an emergency tracheotomy is performed. I learned that from watching M*A*S*H.

They didn't die from a crushed trachea. They died from the impact of their skull on the pavement. Maybe read the articles for context?

 

[iheartbadmemes]

Put his body on the back of the net. He can become the solution to his own problem.

 

[Bruno Schulz]

This is not the first video I've seen where this happens. It must not be a rare occurrence.

 

[Deleted User 201666]

Silly cunt

 

[Riggo]

That's an own goal

 

[RebelFX]

I didn't know you could pull the goalie in soccer.... thought that was just a hockey thing. I laughed... I know... I'm going to hell.

 

[Nobbler]

That counts as a foul.

 

[Elon]

Chinkers have a flat face owing to close relative mating. This one is an improved specimen.

 

[MonkeyInaCar]

That's one of my favorites, a crushed trachea leading to death by asphyxiation in as little as six minutes unless an emergency tracheotomy is performed. I learned that from watching M*A*S*H.

The sad thing is, If you tried to do that by jamming a empty pen tube in the throat, you'd probably be arrested for cause of death even though you tried to save them. So you're better off just looking down at them as they slowly die with a 1000 yard stare like a badass.

 

[dildo_swaggins]

You'd think at the least those wingnuts could have given her a tracheotomy with a fucking chopstick or something

 

[Harumph]

They didn't die from a crushed trachea. They died from the impact of their skull on the pavement. Maybe read the articles for context?

Dear K.I.T.T.,

I read the article for context. The autopsy had not been conducted as of its publishing, therefore no official cause of death was mentioned. So you are aware, speculation is allowed here at Goregrish, among other things. In any event, thank you very much for that most valuable advice, @K.I.T.T. You can go back to crime fighting now with your 145 HP 5.0L V-8 😂, and your $11.4M 1982 price tag ($36M in 2024). I read those articles for context, too. The irony is not lost on me that you are a Pontiac Firebird Trans Am, which went out of business as a car manufacturer subsidiary of General Motors 14 years ago thanks to the '08 Recession. So additionally in context, if we ever need parts for you from GM, we're not only S.O.L., but we must also go to Classic Industries, where we will remain at their mercy both in terms of availability and cost, indefinitely! Good luck with that and with all of your modern crime fighting endeavors! Be careful out there as criminals don't play around these days, as I'm certain you are well aware. Say, "Hey!" to V.I.P. Michael Knight (A.K.A. "The Hoff") from all of us here!

Warmest professional regards and your friend in gory detail,
Harumph

The sad thing is, If you tried to do that by jamming a empty pen tube in the throat, you'd probably be arrested for cause of death even though you tried to save them. So you're better off just looking down at them as they slowly die with a 1000 yard stare like a badass.

Don't forget the Tom Mix pocket knife for the incision! Careful with the depth, though. I would hope they wouldn't charge someone with the wherewithal and composure to do that successfully, especially if it offered a way for the victim to actually breathe.

 

[K.I.T.T.]

Dear K.I.T.T.,

I read the article for context. The autopsy had not been conducted as of its publishing, therefore no official cause of death was mentioned. So you are aware, speculation is allowed here at Goregrish, among other things. In any event, thank you very much for that most valuable advice, @K.I.T.T. You can go back to crime fighting now with your 145 HP 5.0L V-8 😂, and your $11.4M 1982 price tag ($36M in 2024). I read those articles for context, too. The irony is not lost on me that you are a Pontiac Firebird Trans Am, which went out of business as a car manufacturer subsidiary of General Motors 14 years ago thanks to the '08 Recession. So additionally in context, if we ever need parts for you from GM, we're not only S.O.L., but we must also go to Classic Industries, where we will remain at their mercy both in terms of availability and cost, indefinitely! Good luck with that and with all of your modern crime fighting endeavors! Be careful out there as criminals don't play around these days, as I'm certain you are well aware. Say, "Hey!" to V.I.P. Michael Knight (A.K.A. "The Hoff") from all of us here!

Warmest professional regards and your friend in gory detail,
Harumph



Don't forget the Tom Mix pocket knife for the incision! Careful with the depth, though. I would hope they wouldn't charge someone with the wherewithal and composure to do that successfully, especially if it offered a way for the victim to actually breathe.

The article clearly says that the victim died from the impact, not a crushed trachea. A crushed trachea doesn't cause INSTANT death!


I'm impressed that you went to the trouble to Google all of that information about my predecessor, but I happen to be be the newest model of K.I.T.T., A Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR. I can also conveniently and almost believably transform into a Ford F-150 FX4 pickup truck for off-road purposes, a Ford E-150 van, Ford Flex, Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor, and a 1969 Mach 1 Mustang for disguise purposes. (Ford paid us well for the rights, I wanted to be a Porsche, but noooooo, Porsche isn't American. Bastards.)

Sadly, I'm the last of my kind until someone comes along and makes another shitty Knight Rider series. So, you're stuck with me for now. And by the way, $36 million for a uniquely sentient artificial intelligence system is dirt cheap. Jeff Bezo's yacht cost more than that and it doesn't even have a sexy voice like mine.

 

[Harumph]

The article clearly says that the victim died from the impact, not a crushed trachea. A crushed trachea doesn't cause INSTANT death!


I'm impressed that you went to the trouble to Google all of that information about my predecessor, but I happen to be be the newest model of K.I.T.T., A Ford Mustang Shelby GT500KR. I can also conveniently and almost believably transform into a Ford F-150 FX4 pickup truck for off-road purposes, a Ford E-150 van, Ford Flex, Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor, and a 1969 Mach 1 Mustang for disguise purposes. (Ford paid us well for the rights, I wanted to be a Porsche, but noooooo, Porsche isn't American. Bastards.)

Sadly, I'm the last of my kind until someone comes along and makes another shitty Knight Rider series. So, you're stuck with me for now. And by the way, $36 million for a uniquely sentient artificial intelligence system is dirt cheap. Jeff Bezo's yacht cost more than that and it doesn't even have a sexy voice like mine.

This is old-ish, from 2020, but you may not have seen it. It is however, pretty downright epic for an EV and is a one-off by Ford Performance and RTR called the Mustang Mach-E 1400. Enjoy! I know I did. Mind the volume.

https://media.ford.com/content/fordmedia/feu/en/news/2020/07/21/all-electric-mustang-mach-e-1400-prototype-by-ford-performance-a.html

 

[dwdays]

 

[djdeeds]

That's one of my favorites, a crushed trachea leading to death by asphyxiation in as little as six minutes unless an emergency tracheotomy is performed. I learned that from watching M*A*S*H.

That's actually the biggest laugh I had all day

 

[Russellmark11]

They had a sub. Game on!