5 Years Sober

[thebully08$]

Congratulations brother! That is a huge accomplishment. You have come too far to turn back now. Just remember all the shit you had to go through to get where you are now, and remember all the people you would let down and the pain and sadness you would bring upon family and friends.
You are kicking ass dude!
and I am rooting for you my man.

 

[wiggins]

5 years ago today, I was being admitted to a 6-week inpatient centre for opioid and alcohol detox and rehab. So it’s my 5 years sober check point today.

Prior to this, I was taking enough oxycodone or morphine each day to give 300 patients the higher of the two starting doses. I could down a whole bottle of Oxynorm just to feel normal for an hour or two. Being a doctor makes it too easy to get these drugs, and too easy to hide it. Waking up each day in cold turkey and sneaking the normalising dose I’d hidden was fucking awful.

On the run up to rock bottom, I practiced aiming my Golf GTI I had back then at walls on a local country road at 100mph to work out where I could kill myself and make it look like an accident. This was because my insane addict mind thought my family would cope better with my accidental death, than finding out I was an addict. I didn’t go ahead with it because I couldn’t detox myself long enough to get a clean blood set for the Coroner, and that would prevent my wife getting my life insurance. Addiction has oddly creative insanity.

So I got to the point I told my family as a last resort. Amazingly, they stuck by me and got me help. I was put into rehab by a service that cares for NHS doctors with mental health problems, and also got my later ADHD diagnosis via them too.

I joined GG a couple of month after rehab, and it’s been a big part of my recovery journey. I mean a big part as you guys have truly helped me get to being clean, and the happiest and strongest I’ve ever been. This is a place I can let myself be myself around like minded nutters.

I owe my life to my family, the team at rehab etc, hard work on my part, but also you guys. The gratitude I have for my support network is infinite, even though infinity is a doddle for me to count to.

I wholeheartedly thank every one of you for being part of my recovery journey. I really mean that. You guys are fucking awesome, and I hold a lot of love for you all.

Special thanks for the staff for keeping the site running for us.

Thanks for reading this soppy and serious post. If anyone is struggling with addiction, it is possible to beat even if it’s painfully difficult. Be honest and open up, to yourself first. Don’t be afraid to speak up here. Learn to let love in, and let go of the past.

Again, my sincere thanks to you all.


Here’s the meditation tent at rehab.

View attachment 904522

And a dry sand portrait of my mum’s horse I did in art therapy on the hottest day of the year.

View attachment 904523View attachment 904524

Hey Flatus, I missed this one.

Well done. Opioids are an insidious drug. I had a little habit of my own during recovery from broken pelvis. Fast acting oxy was just too nice not to use!

Well, my doc said 'enough!' and gave me diaz to use and said a beer may also help.

Worst bit was the restless legs. I could handle the diarrhea just fine but the legs were a whole other matter. Diaz was really good for that.

I've run a therapuetic community residential rehab and worked for years as team leader managing a bunch of allied health and nurses at a methadone program (suboxone and detox too) and so many people really fuck up their lives as they lack the ability to moderate their behaviour before its too late.

One of my wife's friends is/was a vet in the north of England who had a little ketamine problem that got her kicked off in Aus where she was also banned from nursing for stealing morphine and she's now just lost her British vet licence as she used so much she dropped into the 'K hole' and make a mess of herself with her neighbours to such an extent they had to call the ambulance who then took her to hospital and sectioned her. So that's one way to go...

Suicidal thoughts are common for me when I'm really down. Not much now as my wife is wonderful and my best friend but my ex was another story.

I am into target shooting and had a gun safe downstairs and used to think, when it reached nutty stage with all the BPD screaming and head fuck that it would only take me a minute max to go downstairs, open the safe, load a gun and blow out my brains. In some ways it was a freeing feeling as there was at least an out. I had little kids though which probably stopped me doing it and also made leaving the relationship really hard too.

I"ve not seen my 4 kids for 10 years now but one day... at least the suicidal thoughts are very rare now...

So, well done. It's a tough road and only the brave take it on...

 

[Qtek2020]

5 years ago today, I was being admitted to a 6-week inpatient centre for opioid and alcohol detox and rehab. So it’s my 5 years sober check point today.

Prior to this, I was taking enough oxycodone or morphine each day to give 300 patients the higher of the two starting doses. I could down a whole bottle of Oxynorm just to feel normal for an hour or two. Being a doctor makes it too easy to get these drugs, and too easy to hide it. Waking up each day in cold turkey and sneaking the normalising dose I’d hidden was fucking awful.

On the run up to rock bottom, I practiced aiming my Golf GTI I had back then at walls on a local country road at 100mph to work out where I could kill myself and make it look like an accident. This was because my insane addict mind thought my family would cope better with my accidental death, than finding out I was an addict. I didn’t go ahead with it because I couldn’t detox myself long enough to get a clean blood set for the Coroner, and that would prevent my wife getting my life insurance. Addiction has oddly creative insanity.

So I got to the point I told my family as a last resort. Amazingly, they stuck by me and got me help. I was put into rehab by a service that cares for NHS doctors with mental health problems, and also got my later ADHD diagnosis via them too.

I joined GG a couple of month after rehab, and it’s been a big part of my recovery journey. I mean a big part as you guys have truly helped me get to being clean, and the happiest and strongest I’ve ever been. This is a place I can let myself be myself around like minded nutters.

I owe my life to my family, the team at rehab etc, hard work on my part, but also you guys. The gratitude I have for my support network is infinite, even though infinity is a doddle for me to count to.

I wholeheartedly thank every one of you for being part of my recovery journey. I really mean that. You guys are fucking awesome, and I hold a lot of love for you all.

Special thanks for the staff for keeping the site running for us.

Thanks for reading this soppy and serious post. If anyone is struggling with addiction, it is possible to beat even if it’s painfully difficult. Be honest and open up, to yourself first. Don’t be afraid to speak up here. Learn to let love in, and let go of the past.

Again, my sincere thanks to you all.


Here’s the meditation tent at rehab.

View attachment 904522

And a dry sand portrait of my mum’s horse I did in art therapy on the hottest day of the year.

View attachment 904523View attachment 904524

What a pussy you are. Be a man and do something right for ones in your life. Disappear

 

[chewbok]

Like @wiggins I also missed your 5 yr benchmark. Congrats and love man. Enough has been said about the horrors of the disease. Just know that many of us were next to you at gates of Hell and begged to get in.

Some have passed, some are still begging but for some reason you and I a free from the chains today.

With everything I am and hope to be, congratulations my friend.

 

[chewbok]

What a pussy you are. Be a man and do something right for ones in your life. Disappear

Wow. You really don’t know the man. No worries, we have been there, unable to recognize the truly valuable things in life while chasing the meaningless. Being mad at the world is a sad and lonely place, a place where recognizing the accomplishments of others is more difficult than blindly criticizing them.

You are an anonymous keyboard warrior here. Zero personal risk so type whatever floats your boat, but at least try to get the spelling right. Your insult fell flat on its face.

This won’t make sense to you now, but one really cool thing about recovery is the ability to see things as they are without reacting. Just know that the same “pussies” you want to disappear will drop whatever they are doing and help you when you have lost everything and have no other place to turn. All you have to do is ask and yes, hopeless assholes are welcome in our little corner of the world.

 

[Irishrepublic]

I quit drinking once. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life

 

[tonyninetoes]

Treat yourself and crack open a cold one !!!

 

[chewbok]

I quit drinking once. It was the worst 20 minutes of my life

I was always the guy that couldn’t stop at 15 drinks. I don’t understand how people do it.

 

[chewbok]

30+ years….. I miss drinking. It’s why I’m always cranky

There is always “that one guy” in the crowd.

Fucking Awesome on you!

 

[Hellvis]

Happy five year anniversary on November 29 I’ll be celebrating 20 years. And it’s a lot more fun laughing my ass off at some motherfucker getting beheaded by a rivalcartel then it is to drink myself to sleep.

 

[Deleted member 452804]

Animals even the smallest of creatures can be a great comfort at times when humans or life in general breaks one's will. The burden of expectations or the guilt of one's own actions upon negative appraisal of them can at times seem inescapable if one does not receive appropriate due for them. I appreciate you for sharing and thank you for reading.

 

[Vingori]

5 years ago today, I was being admitted to a 6-week inpatient centre for opioid and alcohol detox and rehab. So it’s my 5 years sober check point today.

Prior to this, I was taking enough oxycodone or morphine each day to give 300 patients the higher of the two starting doses. I could down a whole bottle of Oxynorm just to feel normal for an hour or two. Being a doctor makes it too easy to get these drugs, and too easy to hide it. Waking up each day in cold turkey and sneaking the normalising dose I’d hidden was fucking awful.

On the run up to rock bottom, I practiced aiming my Golf GTI I had back then at walls on a local country road at 100mph to work out where I could kill myself and make it look like an accident. This was because my insane addict mind thought my family would cope better with my accidental death, than finding out I was an addict. I didn’t go ahead with it because I couldn’t detox myself long enough to get a clean blood set for the Coroner, and that would prevent my wife getting my life insurance. Addiction has oddly creative insanity.

So I got to the point I told my family as a last resort. Amazingly, they stuck by me and got me help. I was put into rehab by a service that cares for NHS doctors with mental health problems, and also got my later ADHD diagnosis via them too.

I joined GG a couple of month after rehab, and it’s been a big part of my recovery journey. I mean a big part as you guys have truly helped me get to being clean, and the happiest and strongest I’ve ever been. This is a place I can let myself be myself around like minded nutters.

I owe my life to my family, the team at rehab etc, hard work on my part, but also you guys. The gratitude I have for my support network is infinite, even though infinity is a doddle for me to count to.

I wholeheartedly thank every one of you for being part of my recovery journey. I really mean that. You guys are fucking awesome, and I hold a lot of love for you all.

Special thanks for the staff for keeping the site running for us.

Thanks for reading this soppy and serious post. If anyone is struggling with addiction, it is possible to beat even if it’s painfully difficult. Be honest and open up, to yourself first. Don’t be afraid to speak up here. Learn to let love in, and let go of the past.

Again, my sincere thanks to you all.


Here’s the meditation tent at rehab.

View attachment 904522

And a dry sand portrait of my mum’s horse I did in art therapy on the hottest day of the year.

View attachment 904523View attachment 904524

Big congrats. 13 years sober over here. Really strong of you to keep going in the right direction. Well done mate

 

[Nicole's Brown Simpson]

5 years ago today, I was being admitted to a 6-week inpatient centre for opioid and alcohol detox and rehab. So it’s my 5 years sober check point today.

Prior to this, I was taking enough oxycodone or morphine each day to give 300 patients the higher of the two starting doses. I could down a whole bottle of Oxynorm just to feel normal for an hour or two. Being a doctor makes it too easy to get these drugs, and too easy to hide it. Waking up each day in cold turkey and sneaking the normalising dose I’d hidden was fucking awful.

On the run up to rock bottom, I practiced aiming my Golf GTI I had back then at walls on a local country road at 100mph to work out where I could kill myself and make it look like an accident. This was because my insane addict mind thought my family would cope better with my accidental death, than finding out I was an addict. I didn’t go ahead with it because I couldn’t detox myself long enough to get a clean blood set for the Coroner, and that would prevent my wife getting my life insurance. Addiction has oddly creative insanity.

So I got to the point I told my family as a last resort. Amazingly, they stuck by me and got me help. I was put into rehab by a service that cares for NHS doctors with mental health problems, and also got my later ADHD diagnosis via them too.

I joined GG a couple of month after rehab, and it’s been a big part of my recovery journey. I mean a big part as you guys have truly helped me get to being clean, and the happiest and strongest I’ve ever been. This is a place I can let myself be myself around like minded nutters.

I owe my life to my family, the team at rehab etc, hard work on my part, but also you guys. The gratitude I have for my support network is infinite, even though infinity is a doddle for me to count to.

I wholeheartedly thank every one of you for being part of my recovery journey. I really mean that. You guys are fucking awesome, and I hold a lot of love for you all.

Special thanks for the staff for keeping the site running for us.

Thanks for reading this soppy and serious post. If anyone is struggling with addiction, it is possible to beat even if it’s painfully difficult. Be honest and open up, to yourself first. Don’t be afraid to speak up here. Learn to let love in, and let go of the past.

Again, my sincere thanks to you all.


Here’s the meditation tent at rehab.

View attachment 904522

And a dry sand portrait of my mum’s horse I did in art therapy on the hottest day of the year.

View attachment 904523View attachment 904524

Awesome to hear, I'm a nurse who got stuck in the painkiller/ booze addiction cycle, and it's fucking brutal. I'm almost a year clean myself. Great work getting clean and STAYING clean! It's hard as hell to get clean, as Healthcare providers, because we're around prescription drugs every day!

Btw- that's an AWESOME meditation tent! I wish I had that back when I went to rehab!

 

[zor0x]

proud of you, keep going

 

[Shatterskull]

What a pussy you are. Be a man and do something right for ones in your life. Disappear

Go fuck yourself and don't talk to my friend like that. You are obviously an angry incel Goof and why don't you do everyone a favor and go away for good. You are worthless scum, a complete waste of life. They have to start putting locks on the abortion bins so fucks like this can't crawl out and survive.....Seriously what the Fuck is wrong with you?!? 😡🔪💀👍🏼🚬🥃😄

 

[(G.O.A.T.) Tubemonkey]

Go fuck yourself and don't talk to my friend like that. You are obviously an angry incel Goof and why don't you do everyone a favor and go away for good. You are worthless scum, a complete waste of life. They have to start putting locks on the abortion bins so fucks like this can't crawl out and survive.....Seriously what the Fuck is wrong with you?!? 😡🔪💀👍🏼🚬🥃😄

You need to take some anger management classes, mr. trenches

 

[Rhino2818]

Wishing you all the best Doc on your continuing road to recovery.

 

[Hellride]

Congratulations man! Addiction is no joke, but you came through, awesome job!

 

[K.I.T.T.]

Go fuck yourself and don't talk to my friend like that. You are obviously an angry incel Goof and why don't you do everyone a favor and go away for good. You are worthless scum, a complete waste of life. They have to start putting locks on the abortion bins so fucks like this can't crawl out and survive.....Seriously what the Fuck is wrong with you?!? 😡🔪💀👍🏼🚬🥃😄

See, this is your problem. You're white-knighting unprompted and for no good reason. @Flatus Tube doesn't need you running to the rescue because some other chump makes an ignorant comment. Acquiring and maintaining sobriety requires developing and improving the ability to disregard the irrelevant noise that would otherwise distract and infuriate us. Otherwise, that noise (in the form of stress, anxiety and external stimuli) could trigger a relapse. I believe Flatus Tube possesses this skill and is enjoying the positive comments while ignoring the negative ones.

By the way, why are digging at a forgotten comment that was posted over a month ago? What possible good did that accomplish?

The old adage "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me" is SOLID GOLD. Your so-called street toughness does not apply here. If you're going to battle a hater, do it right.

Here, I'll give you an example:

What a pussy you are. Be a man and do something right for ones in your life. Disappear

Do something right? Like sharing a photo of your mother's asshole in your profile picture? Yeah, that's classy.

 

[Pavonia7]

Congratulations!