Crotchduster's Big Fat Box of Shit was written as satire by Florida-based J****h producer Jason Suecof, and Hellspawn Warhammers of the Nordic Wind was meant as a joke. Sorry. On minute 07:16 they stop a grindcore song to read hate male, while Girl with a Big Face plays in the background:
"During this song, they e.g. watch the trailer for a movie about the elves (now unionized!!!) rebelling against Santa - killing him loads of times in various different ways (electrocuted, crucified, nailed to a cross, disemboweled --my parenthesis). They'll also interrupt the song to read some hilarious fan (mostly hate) mail [...]:
Hail Crotchduster!
You guys rule, except I don't like the parts of your songs that aren't metal.
I'm in a band too... we're called Hellspawn Warhammers of the Nordic Wind. We play pulverizing war metal mixed with barbaric hate. We just recorded our first demo, and we're gonna take over the world. I've sent you a copy, tell me what you think.
-Satanically Yours,
Kip Benson a.k.a. "Hatebringer"
To which they reply, after listening to about two seconds of the demo:
Dear Kip, you worthless retard.
You should maybe take up pottery, or perhaps woodworking, 'cause your band sucks. After the first ten seconds, Cain threw up twice. So we burned your CD and buried the ashes in the yard. It sounded like it was recorded in mono into a boombox that was inside a metal trash can.
Furhermore, everybody knows that black metal is for geeks that aren't even cool enough to play Dungeons & Dragons. You and your pals couldn't take over elementary school, let alone the world. No one is afraid of guys that wears make up. Please don't ever listen to our album again. We are embarassed you like us.
-Love
Crotchduster
They continue with numerous other letters. Including: a fan letter for Cain (Jason's Rottweiler --my parenthesis), a letter from some guy who's pissed off because they were too busy doing coke off of hookers' asses to sign his album (now he listens to Hellspawn Warhammers of the Nordic Wind instead), and a letter from a girl who thinks they should stop singing about anal sex - because it hurts (to which they reply: "... a woman's job consists of anal, swallowing loads and shutting up - it says so in the Bible"). And these are just some of the weird skits that occur on this album. If I mentioned them all, I'd just spoil the fun for you."
In their own words:
"The band exists "for one reason and one reason only: tax fraud". Why? Because metal sucks. It's "ridiculous and silly, and quite frankly beneath [them]". Cheating the government is the second best reason to make music (pussy being the best).
Bill Williams is a guy who, with his PhD in dumptruck mechanics, managed to make himself capable of inter-dimensional travel. Mr. Williams also happens to be an American and (naturally) a greedy capitalist. He found a dimension, which he insists on calling "Williamsburgland" and uses his ability to travel between dimensions to 'plunder' "Williamsburgland" by selling them "mammal sauce", a liquid as important to the people of "Williamsburgland" as water and petroleum is to us. You see, just before Williams found this dimension - they ran out of "mammal sauce", making this a classic case of demand waiting for a supply. The only thing outsiders like myself know about "mammal sauce" is that one of the most vital ingrediants are goat teeth. And luckily (for Williams), all the goats in "Williamsburgland" are extinct due to a shift in the atmospheric pressure, caused by the universe continuously expanding.
Crotchduster's part of this is - they make the liquid, and give it to Williams. Then he takes the liquid and his dumptruck, filled with (paying) tourists to Williamsburgland, where he sells the liquid for a ludicrous price. He takes 50% of the profits, and deposists Crotchduster's half in an inter-dimensional account. Why? The government can't trace money across dimensions. And to make it the perfect fraud, Jim, Fuckmouth and Cain formed Crotchduster. Now they just list "musician" as their occupation, and nobody asks any questions.
The lyrics on Big Fat Box of Shit are written by Cain. Jim and Fuckmouth send him with Williams to "Williamsburgland", because Williams's brain's chemical balance gets fucked up during the inter-dimensional travels, and he goes mad. During his "episodes", Cain notes down whatever comes out of his mouth. The recording technique they claim to use on this album is quite unique as well. It's supposed to be recorded with only one mic, and their multitrack is sixteen two track machines from 1957 synched together with a stopwatch and some telephone cord. Most of the music is written by Jim and Fuckmouth, whilst Cain is the mixing expert - because he can hear frequencies that humans can't hear."
source:
sputnikmusik
When it comes to the flamboyantly gay new generation of "goregrind" Infant Annihilator probably takes the cake:
I don't listen to any of the bands I recommended to Fwhoosh. Bands I would recommend to you in all seriousness are:
Anaal Nathrakh, Birmingham, UK (new material -- check out
Endarkenment)
Bloodbath, Stockholm, Sweden (old material -- check out this
live performance)
Netherwalker, Florida, US (new material -- check out
Tavern)
Illdisposed, Aarhus, Denmark (old material -- check out
Return from Tomorrow)
Fantômas, California, US (old material --
Delirium Cordia)
(early) Emperor, Notodden , Norway (old material -- check out ...
Reverence)
Broken Hope, Chicago, US (old material -- check out
Into the Necrosphere)
The list is long, so I'll stop here.
Metal drummers I would recommend:
Jan Axel von Blomberg (aka Hellhammers)
Mike Smith (one the very few decent and talented black men I had the pleasure to make the acquaintance of)
Pete Sandoval
Mike Mangini
Dave Lombardo
Virgil Donati
The list is long...
