Men are supposed to be the protectors of their female counterpart of the species, not their abusers or captors. You sound as if you don't feel this way.
As for societal hierarchies I don't believe we were really ever given much choice in the matter but, you men are adorable often, even wearing a wife beater so, it's okay.
When you guys can push out the pups, rear them well, & don't need or us any longer I'm sure you'll let us all know.
Hierarchies aren't about "choice" it's about nature. Women aren't meant to make "choices" over men, only their children. Men make "choices" especially on a societal level that carry over to the role as protectors. That's what nature built us for.