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My Demise ( not that you care. )

I've been reading up on how psychedelics are helping military personnel deal with trauma, ptsd, depression related issues with very positive results. Another option to look at.
Good luck 👍

Building on what he said ⬆️ when you get in a funk like you currently described that's when it might be the perfect time to see a doctor & get one of those nasal injections of ketamine which is supposed to snap you right out of it. Currently, it is only FDA approved for treatment in an ER or clinical setting (I think anyway) so you gotta go there & they dose you on premises. Then, you are under observation a bit & if you feel better, you leave. Asking about the newest resources while you're there too, would be ideal.
When you're in your funk and not eating and bathing regularly... & a few days in a row is not bad but, it is time to get your grungy butt in the tub/shower, okay stinky? 😄 That helps but also you definitely need to eat something even if you're not hungry & wash it down with some whole milk instead of booze. You can't think straight when your brain is starved like you're anorexic but, you get like this so baby step it back to where you are not in the actual funk phase, then go from there when you are more clear minded but, not towards further thoughts of your suicidal ideation or attempts, okay? 🤨
You're welcome to message me if ya wanna talk but, please don't do anything rash & while you're not thinking straight. Ya know, that area you live in has dreary weather that gives people seasonal effective depression issues. If you've never done any meditation and guided imagery, it's kinda geh AF but, it is pleasant to think of a nice sunny place with beautiful weather even if it's just you imagining yourself there in your mind. You could try it. 🤷🏼‍♀️

 
So long story short, because I just don't have the energy right no w. I'm reaching a point in my life where I really have to make a decision If I want to go on like this and it's not a phase of bullshit. I've struggled for my entire life and I'm older now of building a good life and getting taken out by severe depression and intense waves of relapse. Like real hardcore benders that take you to crash out. I can't do this anymore man. I can't recover this time and I don't want to period. If I go this time it's gonna be to the death of me I'll make sure of it. I don't even care about taking care of myself or eating when I'm on them and I get good jobs man but it's always something and I'm back to nothing and having to build back it gets draining and is this who I really am? I got to go to work this morning in a couple hours I've been out Friday, all weekend and Monday and I just didn't even call in on Friday. I haven't ate or showered or changed my clothes and did anything but spend all my time and money numbing myself, real hardcore depression. And I justs started another bende I have to decide what I'm gonna do for real I can't and won't build it back this time.
What are your options at this point?

Can you take the overall goal of getting clean with smaller steps? Instead of looking at the whole thing at once which is overwhelming, take it in smaller pcs.

Focus on today - what do you need to do? Take a shower. Change your clothes. Go to work on time.

Start with those.
 
Pick a country, few grand
Go full forest gump

Looking to do the same this year or early next 😅
My friend, I hope it’s not in this forest that you want to recharge your batteries ...

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What are your options at this point?

Can you take the overall goal of getting clean with smaller steps? Instead of looking at the whole thing at once which is overwhelming, take it in smaller pcs.

Focus on today - what do you need to do? Take a shower. Change your clothes. Go to work on time.

Start with those.

Yeah don't set yourself unrealistic goals that you will fail.
 
So long story short, because I just don't have the energy right no w. I'm reaching a point in my life where I really have to make a decision If I want to go on like this and it's not a phase of bullshit. I've struggled for my entire life and I'm older now of building a good life and getting taken out by severe depression and intense waves of relapse. Like real hardcore benders that take you to crash out. I can't do this anymore man. I can't recover this time and I don't want to period. If I go this time it's gonna be to the death of me I'll make sure of it. I don't even care about taking care of myself or eating when I'm on them and I get good jobs man but it's always something and I'm back to nothing and having to build back it gets draining and is this who I really am? I got to go to work this morning in a couple hours I've been out Friday, all weekend and Monday and I just didn't even call in on Friday. I haven't ate or showered or changed my clothes and did anything but spend all my time and money numbing myself, real hardcore depression. And I justs started another bende I have to decide what I'm gonna do for real I can't and won't build it back this time.
I cannot say much, as I do not know you. Regardless I believe that your life is your choice. If you truly believe your life as a whole is negative, you have the option to cut it short. Personally, I just do stupidly risky climbing and ignore my responsibilities while focusing on the small joys to me: cooking for myself, drawing, and reading.

Sure I'm not living 'meaningfully' but it's living. I wish you all the best. If you need help, call your national mental health help line.
 
So long story short, because I just don't have the energy right no w. I'm reaching a point in my life where I really have to make a decision If I want to go on like this and it's not a phase of bullshit. I've struggled for my entire life and I'm older now of building a good life and getting taken out by severe depression and intense waves of relapse. Like real hardcore benders that take you to crash out. I can't do this anymore man. I can't recover this time and I don't want to period. If I go this time it's gonna be to the death of me I'll make sure of it. I don't even care about taking care of myself or eating when I'm on them and I get good jobs man but it's always something and I'm back to nothing and having to build back it gets draining and is this who I really am? I got to go to work this morning in a couple hours I've been out Friday, all weekend and Monday and I just didn't even call in on Friday. I haven't ate or showered or changed my clothes and did anything but spend all my time and money numbing myself, real hardcore depression. And I justs started another bende I have to decide what I'm gonna do for real I can't and won't build it back this time.
Have you ever considered going to Church and singing along with all the other people in there.
Believe it or not, but I too visit the Church from time to time and confess some sins, and participate in congregrational singing.
Praising the Lord, uplifts, strengthens resolve and can heal many wounds!
 
So long story short, because I just don't have the energy right no w. I'm reaching a point in my life where I really have to make a decision If I want to go on like this and it's not a phase of bullshit. I've struggled for my entire life and I'm older now of building a good life and getting taken out by severe depression and intense waves of relapse. Like real hardcore benders that take you to crash out. I can't do this anymore man. I can't recover this time and I don't want to period. If I go this time it's gonna be to the death of me I'll make sure of it. I don't even care about taking care of myself or eating when I'm on them and I get good jobs man but it's always something and I'm back to nothing and having to build back it gets draining and is this who I really am? I got to go to work this morning in a couple hours I've been out Friday, all weekend and Monday and I just didn't even call in on Friday. I haven't ate or showered or changed my clothes and did anything but spend all my time and money numbing myself, real hardcore depression. And I justs started another bende I have to decide what I'm gonna do for real I can't and won't build it back this time.
Could you stream your suicide online, please? Maybe it'll end up on here one day.
 
Worse
Thinking of doing a counter clockwise circuit of india
😅
To each kali and bhairava temple
Until laya

Going to walk the coast paths here through summer, minimal hiking gear. save up money till next year and get gone for roughly the same time.

Certainly worth a go eh, insane or otherwise.
Get your shots first
 
I don't get depressed ...
but I do get burned out.


Do what I do:
Rent a cabin off in West Hell nowhere.
Bring a grill, Steak + Lobster tails + a hammock, fishing rod and small boat - optional.

Turn off your cell phone, eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired.
No T.V. just a Radio - it exercises the Theater of the Mind, due to a lack of images = only words.

* exercises/relaxes your Brain.

Stay about a week, no shits given, eat, drink, be happy.
Come back when you're ready.
Works like a Charm.

Hope you try this and start feeling ALOT Better.



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1777497781307.webp
 
My friend, I hope it’s not in this forest that you want to recharge your batteries ...

View attachment 981897
Worse
Thinking of doing a counter clockwise circuit of india
😅
To each kali and bhairava temple
Until laya

Going to walk the coast paths here through summer, minimal hiking gear. save up money till next year and get gone for roughly the same time.

Certainly worth a go eh, insane or otherwise.
 
For real.... you must be desparate if youre pouring your heart out HERE.... I honestly was surprised at the support they received. Aww you big ole softies. 😘
There are real ppl behind the usernames with real life struggles.

I figure if they’re hurting enough to share their lives with honesty the least I can do is provide a dignified response.
 
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