Stupid things you’ve done for sex

[Smooby]

chick with a dick?

Just a chick, assigned that way at birth, no weird shit

 

[Bill Murray]

Just a chick, assigned that way at birth, no weird shit

OK, but regardless and getting back on topic. While getting fucked in the dumper will feel different than your vag it shouldn't hurt, if he did you & your partner were doing it wrong.

 

[Smooby]

OK, but regardless and getting back on topic. While getting fucked in the dumper will feel different than your vag it shouldn't hurt, if he did you & your partner were doing it wrong.

Have you ever had anything up your ass? It's a tight muscle, it doesn't have give to it like a vag does. Plus it stimulates the whole pooping mechanism. I've seen countless pornos of women doing anal and I recognize the pained look on their faces. It gives me goosebumps too, it just ain't natural!

 

[Ellzibette]

Never had to do anything for sex except ask.

 

[Bill Murray]

Have you ever had anything up your ass? It's a tight muscle, it doesn't have give to it like a vag does. Plus it stimulates the whole pooping mechanism. I've seen countless pornos of women doing anal and I recognize the pained look on their faces. It gives me goosebumps too, it just ain't natural!

Yes I've had a finger & a toy in my ass and can't say I particularly enjoyed it, but it didn't hurt. I've also had colonoscopies and ya several feet of garden hose up your ass is uncomfortable. Who says sex has to be natural?

 

[Domin]

In beginning of June as everything was opening up again in London. I went out on a Friday night to see mate in a market full of pubs and restaurants around 10pm, it was nice and vibey, He was already a bit pissed as he had been drinking before straight after work, and I was sober when I met him, then about 30 minutes in.. My mate was waving to a group of girls for fun, surprisingly they waved back, so we went over and got started chatting, abut five of them, He was talking to a Irish one, and I to the English.. 7 years older than me, traditional English girl redish blond hair, freckles, green eyes.. beaut... my mate was doing very well in the beginneg, but I guess the booze must of decieved his fancy talk and she lost intrest, I was doing much better as I only had two drinks..anyway..

Later that night around 1am.. We are all outside on the main street, I'm there still talking with the girls.. mainly the English one... and two meters away my mate is stumbling around drunk as fuck.. lost his work bag and shit.. I didnt know his full adress, so couldnt order him uber, I walked him to the bus stop and paid a fare for him, and told the bus driver that He'll be alright.. I went back and took the English girl home, She sucked my cock and had sex, although I couldnt finish so we went to sleep.. we had good sex in the morning, got her breakfast and tea.. exchanged numbers and I still saw Her until last wekeend.. I fucked something up.. :/

 

[Smooby]

Yes I've had a finger & a toy in my ass and can't say I particularly enjoyed it, but it didn't hurt. I've also had colonoscopies and ya several feet of garden hose up your ass is uncomfortable. Who says sex has to be natural?

Don't they give you some kind of numbing or pain medicine when you get colonoscopies.? It's not just the size of what goes in, it's the in and out motion and the possibility of it coming out and having to breach the butthole barrier again. Shit comes out of there, and when it's used too much bad things like anal prolapse and adult diapers happen, meaning the body isn't designed for that kind of activity.

Sex doesn't have to be natural, I just prefer it that way. Truthfully I don't even give it any thought because it isn't important to me.

 

[ZeroK]

In beginning of June as everything was opening up again in London. I went out on a Friday night to see mate in a market full of pubs and restaurants around 10pm, it was nice and vibey, He was already a bit pissed as he had been drinking before straight after work, and I was sober when I met him, then about 30 minutes in.. My mate was waving to a group of girls for fun, surprisingly they waved back, so we went over and got started chatting, abut five of them, He was talking to a Irish one, and I to the English.. 7 years older than me, traditional English girl redish blond hair, freckles, green eyes.. beaut... my mate was doing very well in the beginneg, but I guess the booze must of decieved his fancy talk and she lost intrest, I was doing much better as I only had two drinks..anyway..

Later that night around 1am.. We are all outside on the main street, I'm there still talking with the girls.. mainly the English one... and two meters away my mate is stumbling around drunk as fuck.. lost his work bag and shit.. I didnt know his full adress, so couldnt order him uber, I walked him to the bus stop and paid a fare for him, and told the bus driver that He'll be alright.. I went back and took the English girl home, She sucked my cock and had sex, although I couldnt finish so we went to sleep.. we had good sex in the morning, got her breakfast and tea.. exchanged numbers and I still saw Her until last wekeend.. I fucked something up.. :/

Dom what’s the latest on the Royal Marines?

 

[Bill Murray]

Don't they give you some kind of numbing or pain medicine when you get colonoscopies.?

They will generally offer you anything from zero to being completely knocked out with most common being moderate sedation with something like versed. I prefer to not be sedated at all. One, I don't like not being in control. Two, I'm a curious fella & I want to know whats going on and medical procedures are cool. Three, not being sedated means once I'm done I can get the fuck out of there and grab something to eat (been fasting for 36 hours and I'm usually hungry as hell) and drive myself home (no sedation = not having to have someone drive you).

 

[DropOfVenom]

Became a conspiracy theorist and racist against my own kind.......was very stupid way of viewing the world, but now I can sniff them out like a hound. Glad a much better dick came along 🙃

 

[Foreskin Goblin]

When fucking hookers, particularly when cruising the street, like most punters I made a lot of bad choices and got myself into a few tight scrapes but for this thread I’m looking to hear about the stupid things you’ve done or lengths you went to just to dip your wick in some slag.

For me two come to mind both from the days of the telephone hookup services like larvalife.

First was a slightly tubby chick who said she was 19 (I think closer to 17, so legal just creepy given I was 23 or 24) but said she loved sex and in particular getting dogged in the keister. Over a couple weeks of getting the run around of reasons why she couldn’t meet that evening I probably spent $50 on the phone chat, another $50 on toys for her and when we finally did meet another $80 on dinner (she wanted to get fed before she got fucked...I think I expensed it) and another $100 on a dodgy motel room. Sex was boring, her cunt was hairy & stunk and I got poo on my balls. The ROI analysis of time and money spent made whores look good.

Second was a German chick working at a hotel in Banff (a mountain resort town about an hour’s drive for me in clear driving conditions) who was actually very cute and I still have no idea why she had to use a chat service to get laid and not just grab one of the hundreds of obnoxious Aussie dudes working there. But nonetheless we made a connection over the phone, she liked the pic I hotmail’d her and I liked the one she yahoo’d me. What made it very stupid was I thought it was a good idea to make the drive at 11pm in the middle of a wicked blizzard. That normally easy drive took over three hours and was ass puckering scary, but I wanted to fuck so kept on going. Picked her up and after barely a hello she’s in my pants an sucking my dick as I drove to an empty campground. Parked, she kept on sucking and like a trooper swallowed my first load. Cuddled in the back seat for a while, made out, exchanged oral treats and then fucked for a couple of rounds with the first shot on goal being stopped by a condom and the second one hitting the mark since we went bare (that I’ve never caught anything like HIV or Hep still amazes me). Post sex she had no interest in any cuddling or convo, just wanted to be driven back to town. I obliged and then tried to decide what to do with myself. It was snowing harder than earlier and I was getting tired so thought about getting a room but said fuck it and started for home. Took over four hours and by the time I made it home was spent, called in sick and slept most of the day.

Ive done nothing for sex, im building up my powers to become a full blown wizard




You laugh but when i can lift a quarter with my unreleased nut you wont be laughing then.

 

[conner123e4]

😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧
Back in the dayI decided to go out and have a few drinks. Which was usually 30-40 shots of whiskey .
Went to the beach and met a young woman about 25ish. Sweet talk etc , we decide to go to a pull out overlooking the beach . Called Sunset Cliffs.
We did the wild thing in the back of my truck, no canopy . Then slept in a small grassy spot. Naked .
I woke up, hung over, it's about 4:45 am. I barely have my bearings, decide to drive home . I wake up at 2 pm, make coffee and then reminisce.
I quickly dart outside to my truck. In the rear is my shirt, a pair of womans panties, bra, Jean's, sandals and a shirt!
😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

Yup now im reminiscing on ole san diego i used to fuck chicks on the beach by mission beach and sunset cliffs all the time

 

[hcoop111]

In all honesty I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life …never really got out there prolly never will …but idk stupidest thing would of been sex in the middle of the street while sloshed with partner at the time…when your partner says fuck me…you fuck her no questions asked ….

 

[She Who Eats Darkness]

If any girl says she likes anal sex, she has to be lying. My ex husband was obsessed with it but he was a masochistic psycho

Not true. My best friend loves anal, would rather fuck anally any day & says she has the best O's... This has been discussed in strict girl code convos, best friends more like sisters as we've been down for like 22 years been through so much shit together so no reason to bs kinda convos lol... She says the key is Lott's of lube... Idk tho... 🤣🤷‍♀️

 

[PinkE]

Not true. My best friend loves anal, would rather fuck anally any day & says she has the best O's... This has been discussed in strict girl code convos, best friends more like sisters as we've been down for like 22 years been through so much shit together so no reason to bs kinda convos lol... She says the key is Lott's of lube... Idk tho... 🤣🤷‍♀️

I like my Anus functional, your BFF will be in diapers by 40🤭

 

[Unhinged & mildly racist]

Stories like these make me realize how fortunate I am. 🤦🏻‍♂️👌🏼🤷🏻‍♂️ In theory you should be able to get laid in about 2 hours with the tinder app. Works for me every time.

 

[She Who Eats Darkness]

The strangest fuck for me possibly was this guy that I had seen around (we went to the same school too but totally different crowds), a few years older than me, I didn't really know him/he didn't really know me but I was the kind of girl who went after what she wanted. I got his number through the grape vine, called him once or twice.. we talked about meeting up but one day I called him & his mom answered... She was the sweetest woman, we ended up chatting for about an hour and she said he would be back soon and she actually invited me over so I had a friend pick me up and drop me off at his house.. remind you we still hadn't officially met yet but I was like fuck it cool. When he got home I was sitting in his room on his bed waiting for him (not in a sexy or naked way but yeah) when he walked in, he had another girl with him 🤣 (I later found out that they were kind of seeing eachother/hooking up or whatever) but in my head I was like shit, I'm not leaving unless he wants/asks me to.. again I went after what I wanted so I was not planning to leave.. possibly cock blocking... Whatever.. Eventually, he took homegirl home while I patiently waited in his bed. When he got back, obviously we fucked but after about 5 mins of me riding it, he got all sentimental & wanted to stop (I'm almost positive he was about to rock off and possibly was embarrassed as again, 5 mins or less of me riding it but fuck why be embarrassed we could've gone for a round#2!?) so he wanted to stop fucking and was all like "oh I want to really get to know you on a deeper level, I want this to mean something blahblahblah" and totally ruined the fuck as well as the hardcore metal image I had built up of him in my head that matched his style. Needless to say I was totally turned off, I just wanted a nice/wild fuck to match the image I had drawn up in my mind.. I never answered any of his calls again and when I saw him in public afterwards, I totally dodged. Every. Single. Time. What a downer too... Like I just knew the sex was going to be bomb but instead he ruined it getting emotional and shit... I mean I gave him a real shot too... The girls he usually was seen with were greasy grungy girls and I was at least an 8 compared to the generous 3's he was usually seen with... What the fuck. Oh well 🤷‍♀️ memories 🤣🤣

I like my Anus functional, your BFF will be in diapers by 40🤭

Lmfao that literally made me LOL next time we have a Convo that includes anal, I'm going to have to use that phrase all jokes aside 🤣😭🤣

 

[machopants]

dumbest was paying money, leaving disappointed

 

[Graziani]

The strangest fuck for me possibly was this guy that I had seen around (we went to the same school too but totally different crowds), a few years older than me, I didn't really know him/he didn't really know me but I was the kind of girl who went after what she wanted. I got his number through the grape vine, called him once or twice.. we talked about meeting up but one day I called him & his mom answered... She was the sweetest woman, we ended up chatting for about an hour and she said he would be back soon and she actually invited me over so I had a friend pick me up and drop me off at his house.. remind you we still hadn't officially met yet but I was like fuck it cool. When he got home I was sitting in his room on his bed waiting for him (not in a sexy or naked way but yeah) when he walked in, he had another girl with him 🤣 (I later found out that they were kind of seeing eachother/hooking up or whatever) but in my head I was like shit, I'm not leaving unless he wants/asks me to.. again I went after what I wanted so I was not planning to leave.. possibly cock blocking... Whatever.. Eventually, he took homegirl home while I patiently waited in his bed. When he got back, obviously we fucked but after about 5 mins of me riding it, he got all sentimental & wanted to stop (I'm almost positive he was about to rock off and possibly was embarrassed as again, 5 mins or less of me riding it but fuck why be embarrassed we could've gone for a round#2!?) so he wanted to stop fucking and was all like "oh I want to really get to know you on a deeper level, I want this to mean something blahblahblah" and totally ruined the fuck as well as the hardcore metal image I had built up of him in my head that matched his style. Needless to say I was totally turned off, I just wanted a nice/wild fuck to match the image I had drawn up in my mind.. I never answered any of his calls again and when I saw him in public afterwards, I totally dodged. Every. Single. Time. What a downer too... Like I just knew the sex was going to be bomb but instead he ruined it getting emotional and shit... I mean I gave him a real shot too... The girls he usually was seen with were greasy grungy girls and I was at least an 8 compared to the generous 3's he was usually seen with... What the fuck. Oh well 🤷‍♀️ memories 🤣🤣


Lmfao that literally made me LOL next time we have a Convo that includes anal, I'm going to have to use that phrase all jokes aside 🤣😭🤣

Lei down your phone. You could tell to your bf , my anal theory.

 

[Ratte]

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