Stupid things you’ve done for sex

[lilifrst]

When fucking hookers, particularly when cruising the street, like most punters I made a lot of bad choices and got myself into a few tight scrapes but for this thread I’m looking to hear about the stupid things you’ve done or lengths you went to just to dip your wick in some slag.

For me two come to mind both from the days of the telephone hookup services like larvalife.

First was a slightly tubby chick who said she was 19 (I think closer to 17, so legal just creepy given I was 23 or 24) but said she loved sex and in particular getting dogged in the keister. Over a couple weeks of getting the run around of reasons why she couldn’t meet that evening I probably spent $50 on the phone chat, another $50 on toys for her and when we finally did meet another $80 on dinner (she wanted to get fed before she got fucked...I think I expensed it) and another $100 on a dodgy motel room. Sex was boring, her cunt was hairy & stunk and I got poo on my balls. The ROI analysis of time and money spent made whores look good.

Second was a German chick working at a hotel in Banff (a mountain resort town about an hour’s drive for me in clear driving conditions) who was actually very cute and I still have no idea why she had to use a chat service to get laid and not just grab one of the hundreds of obnoxious Aussie dudes working there. But nonetheless we made a connection over the phone, she liked the pic I hotmail’d her and I liked the one she yahoo’d me. What made it very stupid was I thought it was a good idea to make the drive at 11pm in the middle of a wicked blizzard. That normally easy drive took over three hours and was ass puckering scary, but I wanted to fuck so kept on going. Picked her up and after barely a hello she’s in my pants an sucking my dick as I drove to an empty campground. Parked, she kept on sucking and like a trooper swallowed my first load. Cuddled in the back seat for a while, made out, exchanged oral treats and then fucked for a couple of rounds with the first shot on goal being stopped by a condom and the second one hitting the mark since we went bare (that I’ve never caught anything like HIV or Hep still amazes me). Post sex she had no interest in any cuddling or convo, just wanted to be driven back to town. I obliged and then tried to decide what to do with myself. It was snowing harder than earlier and I was getting tired so thought about getting a room but said fuck it and started for home. Took over four hours and by the time I made it home was spent, called in sick and slept most of the day.

Well, I was in my twenties and still a virgin, dying to get laid, so one time I was on a casual date with a guy at the mall and I was like, fuck this, I'm getting laid.. End of the story, I lost my virginity in a dressing room at JC Penneys 😎

 

[kaijucore]

Almost get caught by the cops. I was shit face wasted and he was stone cold sober, and I ended up in a very compromising position in the passenger seat of his car when an unmarked police vehicle pulled up at the light beside us. I barely remember it but apparently upon being told to under no circumstances move because the cops were literally meters away I hit out with, and I quote, ‘let them watch.’ Not my brightest moment. Good fun though. He can’t listen to Rammstein on the car radio now without it activating his dick like some kind of sleeper agent.

 

[1fktmind]

I sold my body to an adult female who paid off my student loans and paid for my driver licence.

 

[Chasm Creature]

I gave my signed Led Zeppelin album (their fourth album) for it lol

 

[dwdays]

How else am I gonna get a good squeeze for my tiny wiener?

 

[SickoPsycho01]

I usually just break it off after I’m confident I’ve manipulated them to my satisfaction. It must hurt to have a guy tell you he “always liked you since high school” only to have him immediately cut contact as soon as you agree to fuck him. 🤣

 

[Lady_Macbeth15]

Nothing. I’ve never had sex

 

[hedgerow]

Nothing. I’ve never had sex

 

[Sabu]

Never done anything stupid to get snapper. I'm retarded when it comes to wearing a prophylactic though. Oh well, to this day my schlong has a clean bill of health.

 

[Lady_Macbeth15]

View attachment 744445

I’M TOO YOUNG FOR SEX!’







15

dont report me

 

[Amalgamation]

I’M TOO YOUNG FOR SEX!’







15

dont report me

I reported her

 

[Dr Deacon]

I’M TOO YOUNG FOR SEX!’







15

dont report me

Bye cunt

 

[D.O.A.]

I reported her

A 15 year old named lady macbeth?

 

[mrvirtualman]

Well, not for sex, but I did empty a Pringles bottle, used a pair of warm gloves along side a sponge, and using olive oil for the friction. A classic way towards degeneracy

 

[Choppy]

Still haven't done anything stupid for sex

 

[ShartCart]

The first one was a keeper 😂😂😂

 

[Super Kirbo]

When fucking hookers, particularly when cruising the street, like most punters I made a lot of bad choices and got myself into a few tight scrapes but for this thread I’m looking to hear about the stupid things you’ve done or lengths you went to just to dip your wick in some slag.

For me two come to mind both from the days of the telephone hookup services like larvalife.

First was a slightly tubby chick who said she was 19 (I think closer to 17, so legal just creepy given I was 23 or 24) but said she loved sex and in particular getting dogged in the keister. Over a couple weeks of getting the run around of reasons why she couldn’t meet that evening I probably spent $50 on the phone chat, another $50 on toys for her and when we finally did meet another $80 on dinner (she wanted to get fed before she got fucked...I think I expensed it) and another $100 on a dodgy motel room. Sex was boring, her cunt was hairy & stunk and I got poo on my balls. The ROI analysis of time and money spent made whores look good.

Second was a German chick working at a hotel in Banff (a mountain resort town about an hour’s drive for me in clear driving conditions) who was actually very cute and I still have no idea why she had to use a chat service to get laid and not just grab one of the hundreds of obnoxious Aussie dudes working there. But nonetheless we made a connection over the phone, she liked the pic I hotmail’d her and I liked the one she yahoo’d me. What made it very stupid was I thought it was a good idea to make the drive at 11pm in the middle of a wicked blizzard. That normally easy drive took over three hours and was ass puckering scary, but I wanted to fuck so kept on going. Picked her up and after barely a hello she’s in my pants an sucking my dick as I drove to an empty campground. Parked, she kept on sucking and like a trooper swallowed my first load. Cuddled in the back seat for a while, made out, exchanged oral treats and then fucked for a couple of rounds with the first shot on goal being stopped by a condom and the second one hitting the mark since we went bare (that I’ve never caught anything like HIV or Hep still amazes me). Post sex she had no interest in any cuddling or convo, just wanted to be driven back to town. I obliged and then tried to decide what to do with myself. It was snowing harder than earlier and I was getting tired so thought about getting a room but said fuck it and started for home. Took over four hours and by the time I made it home was spent, called in sick and slept most of the day.

The german chick story made me teary eyed in a blizzard !!!

 

[Irishrepublic]

I got drunk and asked her to marry me. Got a few more fuckable months before I broke up with her cos she got too controlling

 

[hedgerow]

I got drunk and asked her to marry me. Got a few more fuckable months before I broke up with her cos she got too controlling

needing to get drunk to ask her should have been a red-flag to you

 

[K.I.T.T.]

Rode a motorcycle 30 miles in the pouring rain while drunk.