Random What death feels like

[Donkeyd]

 

[DokraOwl]

When I get blood drawn at the doctor I pass out due to an involuntary survival mechanism. I have two minutes before this happens however. So after the blood is taken I tell the doctor, "just so you know I have 2 minutes before I pass out so get ready with the ice pack and OJ to revive me. She laughs thinking I am joking. Then my blood pressure drops to bassically nothing and I feel the most amazing peacefulness wash over me as I collapse limp on the examination table, the muffled words of the doctor, "he wasn't joking..." a distant echo, my vision goes white, my brain is barely working. I get back up, it is 4 minutes into the future, I feel great. Everyone looking at me funny, they hand me a juice box, have greater appreciation for life every time.

 

[Bad Hippo]

OJ to revive me

From my understanding of history, OJ tends to kill people. I guess it's somewhat safer now, after 10 April 2024....

 

[45cal1911]

@Norme DePlume meet @Fact21 😆

 

[DokraOwl]

From my understanding of history, OJ tends to kill people. I guess it's somewhat safer now, after 10 April 2024....

OJ would arrive to my bedside each time I needed him, even driving once in a low speed police chase in a Ford Bronco after the devastating murder of his wife and her friend by a killer still yet unknown to this day. Also I must admit, "the juice" they ended up giving me wasn't OJ this last time, it was Apple Juice... obviously since OJ was dead by then.

 

[cyphor]

I agree with that guy, I went under for 3 minutes, slightly different from his experience. light at the end of the tunnel was my version brain shutting down and nothingness.

 

[Cauntsniff]

Near death isn't death....... and I'll argue that till the end of my life when I die from death related factors that contribute to my death, as in im not alive,I've ceased to be, elvis has left the building......... not I stopped working properly for like 2-4 mins but then was OK........ yes it's my hang up no you can't convince me other wise ESPECIALLY WITH FKN RELIGION u can fkn well shove that right up yur ass




Although I'm glad he said he saw nothing 👍🏻👍🏻

 

[DriedOrigin]

Yall niggas gay

View attachment 883827

 

[Pensacola333]

He's WRONG !!! We each get assigned a nice fluffy cloud...and a harp....and our favorite pet sits with us. And we wear beautiful white flowing robes like what Socrates used to wear in the (ancient) Greek Senate. Wine is served 3 times a day...and you get to see loved ones occasionally. I KNOW.....because I saw all this after some really good Columbian marijuana I used last year. - Just sayin....

 

[Harumph]

Yeah, we've all been there, or are going to be. Count on it. And stop blaming psycopomps for leaving this mortal coil! That's not how this shit works. We don't do the actual death itself, full stop. Get it? Got it? Good!

 

[Norme DePlume]

@Norme DePlume meet @Fact21 😆

In actual fact, in his soon to be published memoirs (which attracted the biggest publishing bidding war in history), Fag21 coincidentally does relate his recent near death experience when his heart stopped during a 72 hour marathon orgy he had with the entire Philadelphia Eagles' cheerleading squadron after the last Super Bowl final.

Fortunately, Fag21's always on standby medical team was able to stabilise him and rush him to the chopper. Others involved in the incident were not so lucky. One of the girls literally went out with a bang when her heart ruptured from multiple simultaneous orgasms, another suffered third degree burns when her pubic hair caught fire from friction while the Philly's mascot Swoop the Eagle must waddle like a broken penguin for the rest of his life.

In a special treat for his legions of adoring Goregrish fans, Fag21 has been kind enough to share with us an image from the galley proof of the children's edition of his upcoming memoirs illustrating his near death experience:

"Hey, buddy. I'm just keeping
the seat warm for ya
until you get here."
​

@Fact21 @45cal1911 @Bad Hippo @mrln @Dirl @ZeroK @The anarchist @Christopher Hitchens

 

[68G0regrishfan]

When I get blood drawn at the doctor I pass out due to an involuntary survival mechanism. I have two minutes before this happens however. So after the blood is taken I tell the doctor, "just so you know I have 2 minutes before I pass out so get ready with the ice pack and OJ to revive me. She laughs thinking I am joking. Then my blood pressure drops to bassically nothing and I feel the most amazing peacefulness wash over me as I collapse limp on the examination table, the muffled words of the doctor, "he wasn't joking..." a distant echo, my vision goes white, my brain is barely working. I get back up, it is 4 minutes into the future, I feel great. Everyone looking at me funny, they hand me a juice box, have greater appreciation for life every time.

Stop giving blood! It's not good.