You get to travel back in time just once, and there's a few rules.

[OminousDarkness]

I'll go back to 07/01-2016, just to spend 24 hours more with my dad..

Nah, you can spend as long as you'd like. We'll keep the portal open for you.

 

[ArmageddonWatcher]

Before I go any further...
Does my semen count as a physical object? (Rule #4)

 

[OminousDarkness]

2010 - spend all my money on bitcoin when I learned about it instead of buying in 2016 being untrustworthy 🙃🙃🙃

That's interesting. Why not just give yourself some winning lottery numbers? I bought 100 bitcoins back around 2011, not long after they launched. Told myself I'd save them for a minimum of twenty years. Can't wait to see how much they're worth then.

Before I go any further...
Does my semen count as a physical object? (Rule #4)

Yes. You can't leave behind anything.

I’m going to stop Eve from eating that damn apple

That affects history. Not an option.

Ok Lieutenant Dan……nobody gives a shit what rules you apply. You are so lucky your mom didn’t swallow you……because she loves to swallow.

Stuffing peas in your nose😂😂…..you are definitely a mommas girl trapped in a 16 year old transvestite body…..that’s shit people would say in grade school. Here’s one…..I’m rubber and your glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you…..😂. Not go get back online with all your homo nigger loving friends and play war and act tough…..

Okay, shit-for-brains... Nobody forced you to comment on my thread. Ok? It's optional. My first post is a hypothetical question with some arbitrary rules partially created to gauge the reading comprehension and logical deduction capabilities of anyone who chose to reply.

You willingly chose to reply and by doing so, acknowledged that you read the post and therefore the rules. Your inability to formulate a logical scenario that complied with the hypothetical question and the rules that bound it reveals that your reading comprehension and logical deduction skills are singularly juvenile, and possibly indicates early childhood brain trauma; most likely incurred at the moment your mother first looked upon your countenance and -shrieking in terror - flung you aside forcefully into the wall.

It's remarkably fascinating that you engage in childish name-calling and demonstrate a violent mentality typical of playground bullies. This indicates a severe lack of nurturing, poor self-esteem, and quite possibly some rather uncomfortable and awkward sexual experiences with your father. This explains your inability to rationalize your own confusion about your flagrantly repulsive latent homosexuality. This is understandable, but you certainly won't achieve any level of inner peace by continuing to engage in casual sexual encounters with random men you meet at the gym. Besides, you run the risk of catching an STD, or even worse, AIDS.

None of this is meant to be an insult, just the casual observation of someone with far more education than yourself that is trained to recognize who you really are based upon your false internet self-portrayal.

In the future, it would be in your best interest to seek out the services of a therapist, preferably a licensed psychologist. You display behavior that is indicative of potential violence and you shouldn't be permitted to own firearms or objects any sharper than a spork. Ideally, you'd serve yourself and the rest of the planet quite well if you went into the bathroom and drank everything you could find in the medicine cabinet and under the sink, washing it down with whatever you can slurp put of the toilet bowl.

 

[Fact21]

Aww, a cute little noob that thinks she's clever! Don't lose hope, and just keep trying, little girl... You might eventually compose an effective insult yet. In the meantime, stick to stuffing peas in your nose and Barbies up your butt.


It's a HYPOTHETICAL scenario. That's why I established some arbitrary rules, to aid in avoiding the same-old boring and predictable answers.

Lol….the Ol’ noob comeback😂😂😂. I have done shit in my life that would make you sit in a corner, cry and suck your thumb.

Plus, I have the inventory and skill to end you from another zip code 😄

 

[OminousDarkness]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo

 

[IkeaPsyco]

I would go back to the 5 year old me and comfort me when ever he takes what he want.
I would assure my mini me that even tho men would continue to rape and abuse me, life is worth living.
And get mini my to understand that i was never to blame. I didnt do anything wrong. I wasnt a bad girl. Never was.
And make sure minime knew she was loved and someday she would have "mini mes" and experience love beyond anything.

 

[MrBang]

I would go back in time and heckle Jesus so bad I end up in the bible as a baddie.

Nah you’d have to cum inside‘Mary’ then you’d be Jesus #2

 

[Equal Hater]

I would definitely go back to last week's supermarket trip and grab the Charmin regular toilet paper instead of the super soft rolls.

 

[ThunderCat]

I would open myself up a HIGH Interest bank account in 1980. Put about £100,000 in it, all the savings we have now. Or would that be against the rules taking money. Haha.

If so. Then id put a massive bet on in the same year that certain footie teams will win every year for 40 years and then collect the winnings as time went on and go back to being a FECKING millionaire, or maybe id wake up in a science lab cos id been snatched fpr being physcic. Hahaha