Serious Can you swim?

[Vwj]

Ahhh this was lovely to read... did you get the little ribbons to sew on your cozzy for doing stuff like a length/width etc ?

I got them and bronze silver and gold badges 😂🤣😂
Oh hold on I think I know we’re they are

Geez they gotta be 40-45 years old 😂🤣😂

 

[badangel7]

my mother was a life guard
my best friend was a life guard
my next best friend was a life guard
all 3 of them taught me to swim but i never took an actual lesson in my life

 

[j.f.🔎]

I'd like to thank @mysticstylez for letting me not drown alone, I was getting worried.

 

[Dolly]

I got them and bronze silver and gold badges 😂🤣😂
Oh hold on I think I know we’re they are

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Geez they gotta be 40-45 years old 😂🤣😂

omg thats seriously awesome!! you made my night. How on earth have yo kept them so pristine, such an amazing thing to cherish.

 

[Vwj]

@Dolly sent you a PM

 

[Fäthër Cörpsë]

@Dolly sent you a PM

Aaand here come the dick pics

 

[Rosie]

Ahhh this was lovely to read... did you get the little ribbons to sew on your cozzy for doing stuff like a length/width etc ?

Distance badges, bronze, silver and gold merit badges, I remember having to tread water for 10 minutes, fully clothed, then having to blow up a pair of jarmie bottoms to make a float and then have to pretend they actually worked and float there like a lemon for 20 minutes. All the time thinking to myself "well... if this was in the sea I'd be dead", as I couldn't imagine wanting to go swimming in jimjams, The whole thing was pointless. But my dear mother would insist on sewing these bloody badges onto my hand me down tracksuit and insisting that I actually wear the bloody thing if we went round to my cousins houses...

Did I mention how much I hate swimming?

 

[Guipago]

Yep, like a duck, got taught in primary school, was part of the curriculum in those days.

 

[Preacher]

I can't and neither could my dad, @slickrick27 said it might be a good idea for a thread and it made me wonder if there's many other "negatively buoyant" (thanks @Soulless for the fancy wording) members here.
I'm sure there's plenty that can... And plenty who think it's bizarre that I'm in my 40s and somehow managed to not learn or drown yet.

Here's one more with "negative buoyancy"...

I took several swimming classes, I know how to swim very well. I have even finished tied in a swimming race I had against a friend who is a lifeguard (even she was amazed by my swimming ability...), but that's as long as I keep moving bracing, as soon as I stop in a spot I practically can't float, I sink like the Titanic. I can literally walk at the bottom of a pool.

I learned the term "negative buoyancy" one day talking to a friend who is a diving instructor and telling her that no matter what I do, if I stay in the same spot and don't displace in the water, I inevitably sink and only in a few seconds...

She explained to me that there are 3 types of buoyancy in people:
- Positive buoyancy (people that float by themselves practically doing nothing...)
- Neutral buoyancy (people that float by moving their feet and arms... this is the most common.)
- Negative buoyancy (people who no matter what they do, they sink)

And she told me that what I had was precisely negative buoyancy.

 

[djdeeds]

I swim like a dog , but who cares I can stay above the death zone for a while if I fall into water somewhere - I don't plan on doing precision laps.

 

[Fäthër Cörpsë]

I swim like a dog , but who cares I can stay above the death zone for a while if I fall into water somewhere - I don't plan on doing precision laps.

 

[evil retard]

I can't and neither can my dad

damn. you limeys live on a damn island, and you still can't swim. that is crazy. you and your dad are definitely part negroid for that. crazy.

 

[Amalgamation]

Here's one more with "negative buoyancy"...

I took several swimming classes, I know how to swim very well. I have even finished tied in a swimming race I had against a friend who is a lifeguard (even she was amazed by my swimming ability...), but that's as long as I keep moving bracing, as soon as I stop in a spot I practically can't float, I sink like the Titanic. I can literally walk at the bottom of a pool.

I learned the term "negative buoyancy" one day talking to a friend who is a diving instructor and telling her that no matter what I do, if I stay in the same spot and don't displace in the water, I inevitably sink and only in a few seconds...

She explained to me that there are 3 types of buoyancy in people:
- Positive buoyancy (people that float by themselves practically doing nothing...)
- Neutral buoyancy (people that float by moving their feet and arms... this is the most common.)
- Negative buoyancy (people who no matter what they do, they sink)

And she told me that what I had was precisely negative buoyancy.

I also tend to sink; what I learned to do is focus my breathing and find a rhythm that keeps enough air in my lungs to remain afloat.

 

[j.f.🔎]

damn. you limeys live on a damn island, and you still can't swim. that is crazy. you and your dad are definitely part negroid for that. crazy.

View attachment 780783

I seriously doubt that but, not because I don't like black people, because according to The Sun we hold the whitest town in the UK title.
When I was a kid there was literally only one non white kid here until I was about 8, he lived next door and later on tonight I'll be smoking weed with him like I do most Fridays.

 

[Vwj]

Distance badges, bronze, silver and gold merit badges, I remember having to tread water for 10 minutes, fully clothed, then having to blow up a pair of jarmie bottoms to make a float and then have to pretend they actually worked and float there like a lemon for 20 minutes. All the time thinking to myself "well... if this was in the sea I'd be dead", as I couldn't imagine wanting to go swimming in jimjams, The whole thing was pointless. But my dear mother would insist on sewing these bloody badges onto my hand me down tracksuit and insisting that I actually wear the bloody thing if we went round to my cousins houses...

Did I mention how much I hate swimming?

Think pj’s were bronze
You got to do it with jeans for gold

 

[Pïggÿ]

I also suffer from negative buoyancy probably due to low fat. I like the beach and hanging out in the pool but if the water goes above my head I die instantly like a video game character.

 

[Nobbler]

My dad taught me to swim before I started school so I did ok in school swimming lessons, I taught my kids to swim too, not only could it save their lives one day, its also so much fun.

 

[evil retard]

I seriously doubt that but, not because I don't like black people, because according to The Sun we hold the whitest town in the UK title.
When I was a kid there was literally only one non white kid here until I was about 8, he lived next door and later on tonight I'll be smoking weed with him like I do most Fridays.

damn. nice story. there's still only one logical explanation for why you can't swim, though.

 

[j.f.🔎]

damn. nice story. there's still only one logical explanation for why you can't swim, though.

Yeah I panic and sink.

 

[evil retard]

Yeah I panic and sink.

no. nigger dna. wait. is this you? ⬇️