Serious Im lost

[WhatIsLife64]

Captain, this too shall pass. Focus on the positives. You knew your grandmother for a long time. To reach 90 years of age is nice.
She will always be part of you, and you are a part of her going into the future.

 

[IkeaPsyco]

Almost 2 days ago my grandmother of 90 years age passed away. I was with her in her home when it happened. She was a tough woman who could be really mean, but also just as sweet. One of my favorite memories of my childhood involved just her and me. She was more like my mother to me than my actual mother. She quit her job to raise me once I was born. I asked her to not go cause I needed her, but it was okay to if she was hurting. The last thing I told her was I would bust hell wide open to get her if I had to. That's something she use to tell me. I loved both of my grandparents greatly and I was prepared when my grandfather passed. It hurt me bad but I was ready. This I wasn't. The home they built the year I was born is now empty for the first time. I haven't been myself as some of my recent post may show. The doctors knew she was dying but couldn't tell us why. It's like she just got done with it all. I been drinking and taking sleeping meds since it happened. It's hard to eat, it's hard to wakeup, it's hard to just exist at this point. I know there will be some trolls try and feed off my sorrow and thats fine. I don't do social media cause I think people should say whatever you want. I will remember if you strike me when I'm down though. Whatever you do when you have a death in your family, please do that for me. A prayer, a drink, a high five, whatever it is. I want my mother to go into her next life knowing I cared more than she knew.
Thanks @Dolly this was a good idea.

In time it will get better I promise❤️.

Went through something similar 14 yeas ago.

My granny, my only protector, the only one who stood up for me and my everything, got sick with cancer.

I named my son in her honor and later changed my own name as well. And took her maiden name, wich is tattooed on my left foot.

I still miss her, but that crippling pain is no longer with me.

I'll pray for you both and sending loads of hugs your way ❤️

 

[Necroplant]

So sorry for your loss, OP. My advice is to always have people in your life for support, and more people is best.

 

[Mackerel]

That was very honest and very moving. It is good to see there is still some basic decency in the world. I will give a little prayer for your seanmháthair. I was told today that someone close to me but I don't live near has passed away from cancer. I felt a slight sense of sadness. I think I can relate to you by multiplying that feeling I had for 1000. Nothing is more powerful than a hug from a man to a man—a hug for you, my friend.

 

[quantumFog]

I had a hard time with my Grandmothers death and vented here as well. I was pleasantly surprised by the response I got. Us weirdos will shock you in good ways sometimes. Allow yourself time to grieve, you are doing the right thing by reaching out. It's good you were there with her and she didn't exactly pass alone. She knows how much you love her, just carry on with her in your heart and mind. Go out to her favorite restaurant or maybe watch a movie or play a song she loved. Let her be in that moment with you. My condolences 🙏

Most definitely. The people in this forum, for the most part, are kind souls. We just happen to not hide our eyes or repress our curiosity at the macabre and bizarre.

 

[schizogangrape]

U posted this on my birthday I’m obligated to pray for u now.
I’m rly sorry love u friend ❤️🌎

 

[DeathMetalWife]

U posted this on my birthday

Don't make it about you

 

[Pangolin777]

My missus mum passed away at the end of last year and as I tell her the pain never goes it just gets easier to cope with she breaks every few week cos she can't hear her mums voice see her smile go tobher for advice etc death is totally natural and 100% unavoidable man and at least she got to live till 90! That's a big number think of all the amazing things she's lived to see n gone through the great times she had with you and all her kids n grandkids etc

I mean do u think the last thought she had dying was a negative one seeing loved ones around her all sad that she was leaving this shit show cos at that point all you could feel is massive love n respect serenity peace, you will be OK bud and we are all sorry for your loss, be strong dude

Beautifully said, truth! 😔

 

[RattleHead]

Im sure she knows you loved her. All will be well my friend. Get to feelin better, bud.

 

[Zargon the great]

I Hope people can be nice here. You are mostly among friends and many of us care very much about each other.

As you know I am very sorry to hear this and these early days are so very hard and painful. Remember you have been very lucky to have been blessed with such wonderful people in your life and they will have been proud they made and shaped you, and will also know you loved them muchly. Pass on their legacy to those around you.

Sending you my deepest sympathy and love x

Ditto!

 

[Cold Ethyl]

So sorry for you loss

 

[14ZombiE88]

Losing grandparents is tremendously difficult, words can't describe how heartbroken I was when I lost each of mine.

Though life is frought with pain and sadness, time will march on, and so shall we. The memory of loved ones long past shall never die, and their spirits live on in our hearts forever. We shall all be together again in the everafter, take solice in that, and know that you are not alone in your pain here on this Earth for we stand beside you, with the memories of our loved ones close.

Wounds heal.
Scars fade.

My condolences Captian, may she rest in peace.

 

[Bfeer]

Big love to you. The void will be filled (eventually) but never forgotten. Stay strong brother, she wouldn't want you doing yourself damage. X

 

[kelly71159]

90 years old.. Sounds like something that might make you feel blessed you had her around that long. And if there is no suffering.. That is really something to appreciate. I can still picture my mom as her lung cancer progressed. I'd go take my lunch break there most days and got to see first hand some of the most vicious, brutal, terrifying soul eating pain and suffering you could imagine. It happened to her much youger than I am now. I regret not saying some of the things I should have lie mom... thanks for trying to protect me. Thanks for raising me. Feeding me. Being good to me.. And especially letting me suckle those really nice titties.. Had a lot of fun mom.. No but really. I wish I could forget some of those choice memories of how she suffered.. As long as your grandma didn't have that.. But one thing . Eventually the constant thought about her that you think will never wane. Like the chick you loved who dumped you for some boot lip.. Time will heal the loss and sorrow.. That's a fact...

 

[kevin kirk]

Almost 2 days ago my grandmother of 90 years age passed away. I was with her in her home when it happened. She was a tough woman who could be really mean, but also just as sweet. One of my favorite memories of my childhood involved just her and me. She was more like my mother to me than my actual mother. She quit her job to raise me once I was born. I asked her to not go cause I needed her, but it was okay to if she was hurting. The last thing I told her was I would bust hell wide open to get her if I had to. That's something she use to tell me. I loved both of my grandparents greatly and I was prepared when my grandfather passed. It hurt me bad but I was ready. This I wasn't. The home they built the year I was born is now empty for the first time. I haven't been myself as some of my recent post may show. The doctors knew she was dying but couldn't tell us why. It's like she just got done with it all. I been drinking and taking sleeping meds since it happened. It's hard to eat, it's hard to wakeup, it's hard to just exist at this point. I know there will be some trolls try and feed off my sorrow and thats fine. I don't do social media cause I think people should say whatever you want. I will remember if you strike me when I'm down though. Whatever you do when you have a death in your family, please do that for me. A prayer, a drink, a high five, whatever it is. I want my mother to go into her next life knowing I cared more than she knew.
Thanks @Dolly this was a good idea.

i currently care give my 89 year old grandmaw and have been every second for the past 20 or so years. Pretty much devoted my grown up life to her well being. Im absolutely exhausted from so many years of being on the rollercoaster of bracing myself knowing she can die at any moment , dealing with her mind changing that gets worse everyday, regretting when i screw up trying to give her care because sometimes i do, and worrying about what the hell im going to do to provide for myself after she dies (I live in a small town with very few jobs). I jumped right in when she needed me to start because, after losing my real mom at a young age, i wanted to fill that hole. What i keep telling myself of how im going to deal with her dying is that im going to be glad to finally be able to get off the emotional journey of care giving an elderly person. Constantly caregiving elderly is extremely hard to do and takes a certain kind of person to get it done. While most of me wishes i could have her forever, There is a growing part of me thats just tired of having the constant overwelmed feeling trying to do it.

 

[Annefranksdrumkit]

Almost 2 days ago my grandmother of 90 years age passed away. I was with her in her home when it happened. She was a tough woman who could be really mean, but also just as sweet. One of my favorite memories of my childhood involved just her and me. She was more like my mother to me than my actual mother. She quit her job to raise me once I was born. I asked her to not go cause I needed her, but it was okay to if she was hurting. The last thing I told her was I would bust hell wide open to get her if I had to. That's something she use to tell me. I loved both of my grandparents greatly and I was prepared when my grandfather passed. It hurt me bad but I was ready. This I wasn't. The home they built the year I was born is now empty for the first time. I haven't been myself as some of my recent post may show. The doctors knew she was dying but couldn't tell us why. It's like she just got done with it all. I been drinking and taking sleeping meds since it happened. It's hard to eat, it's hard to wakeup, it's hard to just exist at this point. I know there will be some trolls try and feed off my sorrow and thats fine. I don't do social media cause I think people should say whatever you want. I will remember if you strike me when I'm down though. Whatever you do when you have a death in your family, please do that for me. A prayer, a drink, a high five, whatever it is. I want my mother to go into her next life knowing I cared more than she knew.
Thanks @Dolly this was a good idea.

Take it a day at a time brother,it does get better.

 

[14ZombiE88]

Take it a day at a time brother,it does get better.

I don't know that it gets any better, but time makes it easier to deal with.

 

[freebsd]

I guess I'm lucky. We use a death to get to gather and celebrate the good memories of the deceased.
Then we go to a nice resteraunt and stick the dead guy with the bill.