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Stupid things you’ve done for sex

I learned American Sign Language in my undergrad years to sleep with my actual deaf tutor who was super hot, Never did, until I had been introduced to her step sister at a school event for breast cancer awareness etc...and got it in with her. Up to this day we still sign and she has no idea what that lead to, because no one told her anything (lol get the pun). But yea 3 years wasted on a Language I only use for two people.
There was a deaf hooker who would swing through Houston every few weeks and I happened to time a couple of my trips right to see her. A little chunkier than I normally liked but very open minded. I learned enough ASL to sign and ask for bareback and to tell her she was pretty (flattery even works on whores)
 
Are you sure she isn't faking? Some ladies are pretty good at it.
No I'm pretty sure. She doesn't fake it, she says she doesn't see the point. If it's not happening for her she literally says she isn't going to cum and let's me crack on with whatever I want to do. If she is going to cum you can be sure she won't let me stop what I'm doing. She def enjoys it but doesn't like the pain for the next couple of days so it's a catch 22 for her
 
When I was an awkward 16 year old virgin, and desperate to lose that cherry, I asked this girl at school out on a date. She was known as the poisoned dwarf on account of her being a fat little 4 foot 6 inches and an absolute cunt.
On our first date, I fucking gave her my gold chain, convinced I was finally getting laid. Went to a movie, then back to her folks house.
Nobody home. sweet. She started to give me head in the downstairs lounge, when I heard this almighty banging sound behind me, turned and saw her dad staring at us through the window and smashing his fists against the frame.
She went pale and said 'get out', I fuckin ran out the back door.
Never got laid, never got my chain back. Lost my cherry a few weeks later though.
 
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