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Stupid things you’ve done for sex

D.O.A. said:
I got into a brawl with bar security when some whore came up to me and called me by name, I was blind drunk there for a mates birthday and didnt know my friends had set me up with some lapdancer, I demanded to know how she knew my name and told her to fuck off, all downhill from there :lol:

I couldn't give a rats arse about getting laid so that's as good a story as you get
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You cunt! Well I hope the poor dirty slut still got paid...(btw,I like dirty sluts), it takes all sorts to make the world go round...
 
D.O.A. said:
it was always in a pub someplace, you only need your drunk buddy arguing with some other alcoholic about football and the next thing you know a third guys got him in a headlock and it's on for young and old until someone yells "fuck! cops!" and the whole place empties out like noone was even there, and then you're all back there next Friday, laughing about it
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I watched a guy try to sucker punch my buddy because he thought he was hitting on his girlfriend... my friend (an accomplished boxer) easily stepped aside. Sitting on the stool behind him was the aggressive dude's GF - he connected square in her face with that haymaker. She was out like a light, toppled from her stool, gushing blood from her mouth and nose - positive he broke it.... Security saw the whole thing and tossed both he and his skank when she came to. (She was known to pull stupid shit like that to start fights.) Wonder what kind of conversation they had when they got home.
 
Bill M said:
When fucking hookers, particularly when cruising the street, like most punters I made a lot of bad choices and got myself into a few tight scrapes but for this thread I’m looking to hear about the stupid things you’ve done or lengths you went to just to dip your wick in some slag.

For me two come to mind both from the days of the telephone hookup services like larvalife.

First was a slightly tubby chick who said she was 19 (I think closer to 17, so legal just creepy given I was 23 or 24) but said she loved sex and in particular getting dogged in the keister. Over a couple weeks of getting the run around of reasons why she couldn’t meet that evening I probably spent $50 on the phone chat, another $50 on toys for her and when we finally did meet another $80 on dinner (she wanted to get fed before she got fucked...I think I expensed it) and another $100 on a dodgy motel room. Sex was boring, her cunt was hairy & stunk and I got poo on my balls. The ROI analysis of time and money spent made whores look good.

Second was a German chick working at a hotel in Banff (a mountain resort town about an hour’s drive for me in clear driving conditions) who was actually very cute and I still have no idea why she had to use a chat service to get laid and not just grab one of the hundreds of obnoxious Aussie dudes working there. But nonetheless we made a connection over the phone, she liked the pic I hotmail’d her and I liked the one she yahoo’d me. What made it very stupid was I thought it was a good idea to make the drive at 11pm in the middle of a wicked blizzard. That normally easy drive took over three hours and was ass puckering scary, but I wanted to fuck so kept on going. Picked her up and after barely a hello she’s in my pants an sucking my dick as I drove to an empty campground. Parked, she kept on sucking and like a trooper swallowed my first load. Cuddled in the back seat for a while, made out, exchanged oral treats and then fucked for a couple of rounds with the first shot on goal being stopped by a condom and the second one hitting the mark since we went bare (that I’ve never caught anything like HIV or Hep still amazes me). Post sex she had no interest in any cuddling or convo, just wanted to be driven back to town. I obliged and then tried to decide what to do with myself. It was snowing harder than earlier and I was getting tired so thought about getting a room but said fuck it and started for home. Took over four hours and by the time I made it home was spent, called in sick and slept most of the day.
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I used a condom..
 
Bill M said:
Going to agree to disagree. They enjoyed it, hard stop. I know what faking it looks and sounds like and that wasn’t it. As for the fear of pregnancy claim, nonsense since they were also fucked in the vag.
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Mmmmm.... Anal is for every single day. Really the easiest way for me to get off. 😊 I like to squeeze my butt cheeks super tight and make it all the tighter for him, I love to struggle. My man and I never have regular sex/making love w/e you wanna call it. If I don't have to fight/struggle it ain't quite right. I love to feel defeated, conquered and taken. 😊
 
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