Stupid things you’ve done for sex

[Bill Murray]

I trashed a women's abusive boyfriends BMW E36 M3, just so I could get access to her DD's.

Left very disappointed.

White knights never get the cooze

 

[mrln]

does married count? because ive known people to get married for sex,then it just stopped for them.
now all they get is hallway sex. they walk past one another int he hallway,and tell them to go fuck themselves.

 

[Ku Klux Kloyce]

Let her stay over night 😖

 

[NObanana4you]

White knights never get the cooze

It didn't that time

 

[Johnnyslycash]

Buying dinner is about the dumbest shit I've done. They sling pussy out of both pants legs so why put any effort into it?

 

[ArmageddonWatcher]

Sex was boring, her cunt was hairy & stunk and I got poo on my balls.

Lol lol lol That was so f funny!

 

[xicotet]

Never done

 

[SkyGod150]

If any girl says she likes anal sex, she has to be lying. My ex husband was obsessed with it but he was a masochistic psycho

Thats false. I spoke to one woman on Twitter and she says that when it's inside her anus, it can push it down and run against the vagina and she can orgasm from it. So that's why some women don't the double penetration with two dildos sometime.

 

[whiteboyopie]

😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧
Back in the dayI decided to go out and have a few drinks. Which was usually 30-40 shots of whiskey .
Went to the beach and met a young woman about 25ish. Sweet talk etc , we decide to go to a pull out overlooking the beach . Called Sunset Cliffs.
We did the wild thing in the back of my truck, no canopy . Then slept in a small grassy spot. Naked .
I woke up, hung over, it's about 4:45 am. I barely have my bearings, decide to drive home . I wake up at 2 pm, make coffee and then reminisce.
I quickly dart outside to my truck. In the rear is my shirt, a pair of womans panties, bra, Jean's, sandals and a shirt!
😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

 

[mrln]

😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧
Back in the dayI decided to go out and have a few drinks. Which was usually 30-40 shots of whiskey .
Went to the beach and met a young woman about 25ish. Sweet talk etc , we decide to go to a pull out overlooking the beach . Called Sunset Cliffs.
We did the wild thing in the back of my truck, no canopy . Then slept in a small grassy spot. Naked .
I woke up, hung over, it's about 4:45 am. I barely have my bearings, decide to drive home . I wake up at 2 pm, make coffee and then reminisce.
I quickly dart outside to my truck. In the rear is my shirt, a pair of womans panties, bra, Jean's, sandals and a shirt!
😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳😳

good thing you got to them before your wife did!

 

[diagnosticguy]

Listened to a coworker cry about her man leaving her for hours on end just to be able to slide into that pussy. Oh...she was the stupid thing I did.

oh yeah... did that once, i got lucky, turned out to be worth it.

 

[whiteboyopie]

good thing you got to them before your wife did!

Lol, lol.....

 

[wiggins]

When fucking hookers, particularly when cruising the street, like most punters I made a lot of bad choices and got myself into a few tight scrapes but for this thread I’m looking to hear about the stupid things you’ve done or lengths you went to just to dip your wick in some slag.

For me two come to mind both from the days of the telephone hookup services like larvalife.

First was a slightly tubby chick who said she was 19 (I think closer to 17, so legal just creepy given I was 23 or 24) but said she loved sex and in particular getting dogged in the keister. Over a couple weeks of getting the run around of reasons why she couldn’t meet that evening I probably spent $50 on the phone chat, another $50 on toys for her and when we finally did meet another $80 on dinner (she wanted to get fed before she got fucked...I think I expensed it) and another $100 on a dodgy motel room. Sex was boring, her cunt was hairy & stunk and I got poo on my balls. The ROI analysis of time and money spent made whores look good.

Second was a German chick working at a hotel in Banff (a mountain resort town about an hour’s drive for me in clear driving conditions) who was actually very cute and I still have no idea why she had to use a chat service to get laid and not just grab one of the hundreds of obnoxious Aussie dudes working there. But nonetheless we made a connection over the phone, she liked the pic I hotmail’d her and I liked the one she yahoo’d me. What made it very stupid was I thought it was a good idea to make the drive at 11pm in the middle of a wicked blizzard. That normally easy drive took over three hours and was ass puckering scary, but I wanted to fuck so kept on going. Picked her up and after barely a hello she’s in my pants an sucking my dick as I drove to an empty campground. Parked, she kept on sucking and like a trooper swallowed my first load. Cuddled in the back seat for a while, made out, exchanged oral treats and then fucked for a couple of rounds with the first shot on goal being stopped by a condom and the second one hitting the mark since we went bare (that I’ve never caught anything like HIV or Hep still amazes me). Post sex she had no interest in any cuddling or convo, just wanted to be driven back to town. I obliged and then tried to decide what to do with myself. It was snowing harder than earlier and I was getting tired so thought about getting a room but said fuck it and started for home. Took over four hours and by the time I made it home was spent, called in sick and slept most of the day.

My ex wife calls me an obnoxious Aussie dude...

 

[SeekingReality]

Not so much stupid, more like a facepalm and bruised ego moment.
Several years before I was married, had started dating this guy, all was going okay - the usual. Then around the fifth or sixth date, I decided I was ready to get intimate with him as he was getting frisky lol.
We'd arranged a time to go for a meal, so that evening, had got all glammed up - as in bought some sexy negligee, perfume and all that jazz. So there I was, in a nice dress, ready to go out and yep, phone rings, was him saying he was sorry, but had to cancel. Was a bit put off but thought 'sod it' went out to the local bar anyways.

Met up with a couple of fellow friends and sat drinking. It was a 'rock' night, so everyone was enjoying that, getting up and dancing... one of my girl friends and I got up and were having a good old dance, when who should I see? him, walking in arm in arm with another female and nuzzling her cheek - I promptly blew a gasket, handed my drink to my friend and slapped him hard round the kisser. The woman he was with, was not impressed either, she slapped him too - leaving him very red faced, and slinking out the door real quick.

She's still a good, albeit long distance pal to this day. And that was the shortest courtship I ever had with a guy.

 

[Xena1966]

Not so much stupid, more like a facepalm and bruised ego moment.
Several years before I was married, had started dating this guy, all was going okay - the usual. Then around the fifth or sixth date, I decided I was ready to get intimate with him as he was getting frisky lol.
We'd arranged a time to go for a meal, so that evening, had got all glammed up - as in bought some sexy negligee, perfume and all that jazz. So there I was, in a nice dress, ready to go out and yep, phone rings, was him saying he was sorry, but had to cancel. Was a bit put off but thought 'sod it' went out to the local bar anyways.

Met up with a couple of fellow friends and sat drinking. It was a 'rock' night, so everyone was enjoying that, getting up and dancing... one of my girl friends and I got up and were having a good old dance, when who should I see? him, walking in arm in arm with another female and nuzzling her cheek - I promptly blew a gasket, handed my drink to my friend and slapped him hard round the kisser. The woman he was with, was not impressed either, she slapped him too - leaving him very red faced, and slinking out the door real quick.

She's still a good, albeit long distance pal to this day. And that was the shortest courtship I ever had with a guy.

Love this! You go, girl! What a sleaze he was... Glad you found out ahead of time and got to deal....💔❤

 

[wiggins]

Not so much stupid, more like a facepalm and bruised ego moment.
Several years before I was married, had started dating this guy, all was going okay - the usual. Then around the fifth or sixth date, I decided I was ready to get intimate with him as he was getting frisky lol.
We'd arranged a time to go for a meal, so that evening, had got all glammed up - as in bought some sexy negligee, perfume and all that jazz. So there I was, in a nice dress, ready to go out and yep, phone rings, was him saying he was sorry, but had to cancel. Was a bit put off but thought 'sod it' went out to the local bar anyways.

Met up with a couple of fellow friends and sat drinking. It was a 'rock' night, so everyone was enjoying that, getting up and dancing... one of my girl friends and I got up and were having a good old dance, when who should I see? him, walking in arm in arm with another female and nuzzling her cheek - I promptly blew a gasket, handed my drink to my friend and slapped him hard round the kisser. The woman he was with, was not impressed either, she slapped him too - leaving him very red faced, and slinking out the door real quick.

She's still a good, albeit long distance pal to this day. And that was the shortest courtship I ever had with a guy.

Better one bird in the hand than two in the bush and all that...

 

[Blood_Sport]

Said the L word....




















Lesbian

 

[wiggins]

good thing you got to them before your wife did!

All in your size along with a note from a man called Nigel thanking you for a wonderful night out and asking you to call him when you wake up.
He left his calling card too:

 

[SeekingReality]

Better one bird in the hand than two in the bush and all that...

Mr Wiggles, you are getting worse 😂

 

[Smooby]

Going to agree to disagree. They enjoyed it, hard stop. I know what faking it looks and sounds like and that wasn’t it. As for the fear of pregnancy claim, nonsense since they were also fucked in the vag.

But, it actually hurts. The only thing I think it could be is pleasure of being dominated or the kinkiness. I used to do anal in my relationships because I felt obligated. The only time it ever felt good is when I took a fat shit on a dude while he was going at it behind me. That was my last time doing anal