Serious You've been given three wishes, but there's some rules...

[OminousDarkness]

You have been given three wishes by a fairy. (For the sake of this conversation, @Ivan Drago can be the fairy, seems like he's got practice...)

With three wishes, there are three rules. Here they are:

1. You cannot wish for more wishes.
2. You cannot wish for "infinite" anything.
3. You cannot wish for anything that could affect the past.

What are your three wishes?

 

[Ivan Drago]

Very cute asspick.


1. $999,999,999,999,999

2. A night in the jacuzzi with Shania Twain.

3. Have @Tubemonkey's penis chopped off so he can never father a demon child.

 

[(G.O.A.T.) Tubemonkey]

Very cute asspick.


1. $999,999,999,999,999

2. A night in the jacuzzi with Shania Twain.

3. Have @Tubemonkey's penis chopped off so he can never father a demon child.

1. get a job and earn something honestly

2. I'm sure there's other ways to get her laughing without you getting naked.

3. I already have 3 demons so you're a little late. I'm not like you, I can score women.

 

[Ellzibette]

1. Look 25 and feel healthy forever
2. Live forever
3. Have enough cash to buy whatever I want, whenever I want

 

[DeathMetalWife]

1. Healthy pancreas for my spouse
2. Healthy kidneys for him as well
3. More substantial (passive) income

 

[OminousDarkness]

1. Look 25 and feel healthy forever
2. Live forever
3. Have enough cash to buy whatever I want, whenever I want

(So you wanna be a vampire?)

Sorry, @Ellzibette, but 'forever' is the same as 'infinity' and thus breaks the 'infinite' rule. Therefore, your first two wishes are invalid. Try again.

1. Healthy pancreas for my spouse
2. Healthy kidneys for him as well
3. More substantial (passive) income

That has got to be the least selfish, honest and legitimately admirable answer that I could have expected. If I had the power to grant those wishes, I'd do it without hesitation.

 

[M.O.DENGLER]

1. World peace
2. A nice cold can of Irn Bru
3. A lovely bag of crisps

 

[Prince 👑 Harming]

wish #1 I want all the bones from Oprah's body the rest of her organs n shit can go to @DeathMetalWife for her spouse

wish #2 possums are to be recognized as America's national animal ... so killing one would be a federal offense

wish #3 I'd like dinosaurs to once again roam the earth

 

[DeathMetalWife]

wish #1 I want all the bones from Oprah's body the rest of her organs n shit can go to @DeathMetalWife for her spouse

wish #2 possums are to be recognized as America's national animal ... so killing one would be a federal offense

wish #3 I'd like dinosaurs to once again roam the earth

Oprah has thyroid issues, heart disease, and is prediabetic, we will make do without her corpse, sweetie.

 

[Dolly]

Id wish for a day with my parents, just to tell them both how much I miss them and how amazing they both where.
Id wish for a dog rescue on my own land, it would be a wonderful place and id only let them be adopted by super nice kind people , but id mostly keep them all
and to be loved like I am now, by my family and fella til I die.

Theyre all a bit gay so I might swap one out for a night of hard fucking with Tom Araya when he was younger

 

[(G.O.A.T.) Tubemonkey]

wish #1 I want all the bones from Oprah's body the rest of her organs n shit can go to @DeathMetalWife for her spouse

wish #2 possums are to be recognized as America's national animal ... so killing one would be a federal offense

wish #3 I'd like dinosaurs to once again roam the earth

Dinosaurs' eat possum....

 

[Dolly]

1. World peace
2. A nice cold can of Irn Bru
3. A lovely bag of crisps

What flavour?

 

[M.O.DENGLER]

What flavour?

I had some camembert with rosmary and garlic crisps the other day. They were lush.

I don't know. Some serious thought will have to be put into this.

 

[Prince 👑 Harming]

Dinosaurs' eat possum....

yeah but I figure it would level the playing field a bit ... tough getting some McDonald's when there's a t-rex tearing up cars in the drive through

 

[OminousDarkness]

wish #1 I want all the bones from Oprah's body the rest of her organs n shit can go to @DeathMetalWife for her spouse

wish #2 possums are to be recognized as America's national animal ... so killing one would be a federal offense

wish #3 I'd like dinosaurs to once again roam the earth

Wish number 3 would be an alteration of the past, so that one is denied. Try again.

 

[(G.O.A.T.) Tubemonkey]

Wish number 3 would be an alteration of the past, so that one is denied. Try again.

Fucking fascist Bastard....

 

[Prince 👑 Harming]

Wish number 3 would be an alteration of the past, so that one is denied. Try again.

I'll rephrase .... I wish for dinosaurs to be reborn into the world with us

 

[OminousDarkness]

Fucking fascist Bastard....

Those weren't even YOUR wishes, CylindricalChimp!

Oh, wait... Are you one of those social-justice warriors that gets offended on behalf of others?

 

[Dolly]

I had some camembert with rosmary and garlic crisps the other day. They were lush.

I don't know. Some serious thought will have to be put into this.

Yeah its actually a tough one, you don't want to get bored of the same flavour and some make your mouth sore. Don't buy ASU crisps tho, they only come in this weird salty flavour that smells a bit bleachy

 

[(G.O.A.T.) Tubemonkey]

Those weren't even YOUR wishes, CylindricalChimp!

Oh, wait... Are you one of those social-justice warriors that gets offended on behalf of others?

Oh, you got me. No, I'm not offended for anyone, I'm just an asshole...