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DDNoir

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More details about Albert Fish from

The Mind of a Murderer: Privileged Access to the Demons That Drive Extreme Violence​


 

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RandomGøreGrishUser

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What kinda stupid question is this? Who the fuck wants to get murdered. On another note how I’d like to die, either of old age around a big happy positive family, or on the battlefield serving my country.
 
Best way for me to be murdered, is on my knees, hands bound behind my back and a bullet through the back of my head. Instant. No pain, no nothing. The end.
But, this answer, nuts as it sounds deserves a real explination.


I was held hostage, along with some other people, when I was 17. The currancy exchange I was in got robbed, while I had the poor luck to be standing in line. I only remember 3 robbers, though I was told later there were 4. The ones I saw all had shotguns and pistols, so no one argued when they told us to line up facing a wall and get on our knees. The police had showed up. Some idiot had gone screaming for the cops, then the robbers couldn’t leave when they showed. So we all became hostages.
One of these guys would march along behind us as we coward, put a gun to the back of someone’s head and yelled about how we would all die if we did anything stupid. No one did. No heros like in the movies. None of us turn out brave when someone jams a gun to your head.

The situation lasted about 4 hours, though it seemed like weeks and they released us all, unharmed.

I admit, when that guy put the gun to the back of my head, I pissed in my shorts. I just knew the end was here, and a bullet was going to fly through my brain any second. I’d be sent to oblivion, by the whim of a man who didnt even know my name. Or care.

It didn’t happen, I’m glad to say. But I distinctly remember having a boner while kneeling there, waiting maybe to die. Don’t know if it was the idea of being killed, loss of all control or what it was that caused me to have an arousal in a situation like this, but it happened.
Then, living through this all had a curious side effect. Almost immediately after, I began having fantasies of being killed while a hostage. I’d think about being forced on my knees, hands bound and a gun to my head and I would seriously become aroused.
Replaying that man’s voice as he told me what was about to happen became an aphrodisiac. I’ve had dreams about it, fantasies and it’s the most erotic thing I can imagine. My therapist told me a load of blah-blah about why I have this erotic fascination, but he's not fixing it. Dont really know why and havent found anything to change that I still fantasize about it 10 years later.
 
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